Eats and Beers

Zeitgeist is Back

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

After three weeks of miserable weather—two of which our dear friend Zeitgeist was closed for renovations—I took the opportunity yesterday to soak up the moisture at the Marina's favorite outdoor oasis.  For everyone who was pulling for Zeitgeist to get some real bathrooms while renovating: sorry, those were left untouched.  But what they did do was completely gut their bar, add more taps, and build some windows behind the bar that allow bartenders to serve drinks directly to patrons on the back deck (who knows if they'll ever do that, of course).

Other oddities that sprang up over the last two weeks include a bunch of new computerized cash registers, complete with credit card swiping capabilities and a receipt printers.  Amazed, I slapped my maxed-out Visa on the table and asked if “those things” worked and if they were accepting credit cards as substitute for legal tender.  “No fucking way.”  The bartender did not seem to like tapping the screen, not that those bartenders seem to like much of anything.

Sitting outside, despite my attempts to drink my beer, my glass never seemed to empty, it just became increasingly watered-down with ever sip.

I have the sniffles today.

  

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Cold Beer, Huge Profits

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

On Saturday I was fortunate enough to run into Dolores Park hero and San Francisco's best dressed businessman “Cold Beer, Cold Water” at the corner of 19th and Guerreo refilling his cooler with three cases of PBR.  While there isn't anything inherently notable about spotting a crazy person holding beer and throwing trash on the sidewalk, by the time I was done fetching some food and booze from Rhea's, 20 minutes had passed he was already back resuppling. 

Now, I'm not advocating trying to solve complicated math problems while at Dolores, but considering he sells a case of beer for $30 bucks (2 cans for $5), this dude is turning a profit of $60 every 20 minutes.  Sure, sales are probably not always that great, but on weekends like we just had, he can easily rake in over $700 in a 4 hours thanks to our collective laziness.

So, a tip of the hat to you, CBCW.  You took people being too lazy to walk a block for beer and made it into a printing press.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Pick Your Own Oranges on Valencia

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Is spending your luxury money at Rainbow no longer novel?  Well, a Valencia Street resident just hung up a orange branch from their balcony and left a orange picking device on the sidewalk so passersby can snag themselves a fresh orange.  These freebies are sure to not last, so do make your way over to Valencia and 21st before they are all gone.

(photo by hey SP)

New Mission Brewery Slated to Open this Spring

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Not only will beer be brewed, but there will be TREES.

Mission Loc@l brings us word that the long rumored and bureaucracy/NIMBY-plagued upstart Southern Pacific Brewing Company is slated to open their Mission brew pub later this spring.  $3 pints of local beers.  Cheap eats.  Outdoor patio.  Plus, it's at the corner of 19th and Treat, so you can start your evening by climbing at Mission Cliffs (exercise!), head to the brewery for a round of beers, go to Homestead for additional drinks, then stumble to Bender's for shots of whiskey until your liver explodes out of your stomach, grows legs, and runs town South Van Ness screaming.  All within two blocks.

But really, $3 pints of local microbrew?  The days of $2 cans of generic American lagers in the Mission are numbered…

(link. via Eater)

Turn Yourself into a Human Wrecking Ball at the Tenderloin Coffee Crawl

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

In what would seem like an “only in San Francisco” phenomenom (but strangely isn't), a caffeinated bastardization of the pub crawl is coming to the Tenderloin this Saturday.  Now, I'm not much of a caffeine person (Four Loko, Sparks, rum n' coke, jack n' coke, Tilt, Joose, Jagerbomb, vodka Red Bull, Irish Coffee, and a shot of Jameson n' line of Adderall aside), but I'd have to imagine that drinking 6 cups of coffee within a couple of hours would turn you into a human Shake Weight.  That said, if you want to hang out in the Tenderloin and get to the point that you physically cannot read the menu at Golden Era anymore, might I suggest heading to Farm:Table this Saturday afternoon.

(More info. via Bikes and the City)

This is the Future of Drunk Food

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I realize I'm a fan of Bender's and therefore bias, but their new Mac & Grilled Cheese sandwich is pretty insane.  I mean, all it is potatoes, carbs, cheese, and lots of gas.  Plus, it's got tatter-tots right in the middle.  What's not to love?

(Sorry, Grub)

Supervisor Wiener to Explore Getting Vendors out of Dolores Park and into the Street

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The Sunny Vibrations vegan food truck, which can be found parked on 20th next to Dolores Park. (photo by Howvin)

It appears the controversy surrounding Rec & Park's decision to commercialize Dolores Park is not yet over.  According to Crystal Vann Wallstrom of the newly-formed Dolores Park Beauty, Leisure & Arts Collective (DPBLAC, or HOLY FUCK THIS NON-PROFIT HAS A LONG NAME), Supervisor Scott Wiener is going to “explore” a compromise between Rec & Park and park-goers that moves the new vendors out of the park to Dolores St., between 19th and 20th (a compromise that the previous supervisor and mayoral candidate Bevan Dufty declined to pursue).  The only setback to this proposal is that Scott needs to negotiate a transfer of ownership of the land the trucks will take up from DPW to R&P, so look forward to months of government bickering over the matter and probably some irate NIMBYs pissed about losing some of their precious parking spots.

Regardless, props to Scott Wiener for trying to do something.

INTERESTING SIDE NOTE: Did you know back in 1998, Rec & Park also tried to commercialize Dolores Park by permitting a supervisor's wife build a concrete cafe in the dead center of the park?  Apparently neighbors had to sue the city to get it stopped.  Great job, Rec & Park.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Douchebag Mecca Medjool, New Mission Theater Up For Sale; Realtor Claims "the Mission is Going to Explode"

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

If you have a few million bucks lying around that you don't want to spend on the Dolores Park Church and would rather spend on a lame bar, Mission real estate owner/enemy of Buddhists Gus Murad is apparently selling off all his property on Mission St.  According to Mission Loc@l, Value Giant is pending a sale that's the equivalent of 4.5 million bottles of $1 dish detergent, Medjool and Elements Hostel is listed at $7.1 million, and the New Mission Theater is apparently being sold to “a very hot group from New York” for a measly $2 million.

That hot group is rumored to be the owners of Brooklyn Bowl, which means the Mission could be getting a bowling alley hella soon.  The realtor of the space tells Mission Local, “Let me tell you, you think the Mission’s hot right now, but if this deal goes through the Mission is going to explode.”  That's basically positive proof that we're getting a bowling alley, because the only things that could make the Mission explode are a nuclear holocaust, bulldozing Valencia, or a bowling alley.  My money's on the bowling alley.

As for Medjool?  Hopefully the new owner burns it to the ground and starts anew.

UPDATE: Turns out Mission Loc@l totally botched the story.  Neither Value Giant nor New Mission are up for sale.  Curbed has the correct info.

(link | photo by Joshua Dickens)

7x7's Team of Foodie Mavericks Declare Chipotle the 5th Best Carne Asada Burrito in SF

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I recognize that half of what 7x7 publishes is ripe for ridicule, but this disaster takes the cake.  From 7x7's “Top 7 Super Carne Asada Burritos in San Francisco”:

5. Chipotle - 1 ¼ lbs ($8.71)

The heat was on, said [Sunset Magazine's Margo True], for this chain’s take on a burrito. Their version was “packed with lots of rice, guac, and fire. Zesty!” But it had too much starch for most. “Where are the beans?” said [Burrito Eater's Charles Hodgkins]. “Oh, here hidden behind the damn rice.” Farr called the meat “tender” but wished there was more char. Hodgkins said the guac was “top shelf” but that the cheese seemed absent. [SPQR chef Matthew Accarrino] deemed the burrito “right in the middle of the pack.”

Let that soak in.

(link)

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

This Is What Pollo Campero Thinks a Mission Hipster Looks Like

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

A few weeks ago, I got hella excited that we might soon see Pollo Campero's badass logo of a chicken cowboy that eats his own kind on Mission St.  Well, the chain recently posted up their drawings for the restaurant in the window of the space and they're unfortunately ditching their rad look for a more bougie Mission feel with a boring new logo.  But just when I was walking away from the restaurant, something to the left of the drawing caught my eye:

That's right: a Mission hipster wearing a trucker hat, Wayfayers, a trench coat, rocking a full beard, and holding a bottle of wine.  Not exactly true to neighborhood fashion, but hilarious never-the-less.  Plus, you have to give them credit for recognizing the fact that Mission St. is covered in trash, even if they are modeling the fast-food chain after Foreign Cinema:

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

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