— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Next time you're running around the Mission at 12:30am trying to find a cake, I have to recommend just heading to your favorite taqueria and shoving a few candles into a burrito. Not only do the candles penetrate the meal with a level of easy that rivals a cake, it's a blast to watch the birthday boy deal with salsa leaking out the side of foil tube of calories.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I've been biking past this sign on Folsom and 5th for the past few weeks and scratching my head at what it possibly could mean. Well, according to LiveSOMA, Potrero Hill's Elite Audio Systems is abandoning their appointment-only studio in favor of a formal retail space in SOMA. Think of the new space as you would every other coffee shop in SF, except instead of nerds working on their next failed startup and writers working on their next failed Uptown Almanac post, it'll be full of people with real sources of income buying elite strereo equipment and elite coffee. That said, don't think I'm hating on the business, considering I don't know where one can buy 'elite audio' equipment that isn't Best Buy or 16th or Mission, it doesn't seem like a bad thing this shop is moving to the area. I just don't understand why every business San Francisco feels they need to serve coffee in order to be successful.
[LiveSOMA]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Last night I found myself in Shotwell's Bar enjoying the finer aspects of life (such as getting drunk and eating MSG-filled snack mix), when I happened upon this new beverage that's new to me. Not only is it organic and naturally caffinated (to the tune of one cup of coffee), the brew is owned by a Mission resident whom lives just a few blocks away from the bar (foodies, rejoice!). Top the whole package off with 7% alcohol, a $4 per pint sticker price, and the fact I felt like a well caffinated disaster after a few, I have to conclude we have a worthy successor to the Sparks/Four Loko legacy.
My only complaint is that it didn't taste like Sweet Tarts and actually tasted like real bar. The bartender offered to dump some sangria in my pint to alleviate my concerns, but I thought better. However, I encourage everyone to make that mistake and report back.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Funcheap reminds us that this Saturday is the “Snuggie Pub Crawl”, which is basically SantaCon for the Polk Gulch set, complete with self-actualizing corporate sponsorship. That's right, instead of drinking your way through the day spreading Christmas cheer and your stomach acid all over the city, you'll just be drinking at all the bars you'd typically avoid while looking like an even more pathetic version of Liz Lemon. Don't get me wrong, I'll be there because I love disaster tourism. However, instead of spending $14 at 'Targét' for a Snuggie, I'll just be wearing my “ghost” costume from 5th grade. So be sure to clean the cat hair and Cheetos off your Snuggie before attending; you never know if you'll meet that special Astronaut who's as desperate and lonely as you at SnuggieCrawl!
— By Laura B |
By now, most people have heard about the U.S. House of Representatives voting to bar Planned Parenthood health centers from all federal funding for birth control, cancer screenings, HIV testing, and other lifesaving care. Well, a lot of people think that's bullshit and we're dealing with our frustration and anger and rage in the only way we know how: EATING! LADIES AM I RIGHT? Enter: Cupcakes for Choice!
Cupcakes for Choice is an awareness and funds raising event for Planned Parenthood. We'll sell cupcakes (or any baked good deliciousness volunteers make/bring!), distribute literature/collect signatures, and raise hell via sweet treat activism. Let's get fat for women's rights!
You can RSVP on the Facebook page, and if you want to bake or volunteer, email Robin. Or just come to the event! For which the details are below! Handy!
Cupcakes for Choice will be in front of Mission Bicycle at 766 Valencia on Sunday, March 6th, from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I guess this isn't horribly shocking, but the SF Weekly brings the world the news that Fat Cookies, the Dolores Park cookie dealers that slang their drug-free cookies like crack cocaine, was shut down by SFPD on Monday. Why'd the police come down on them so quickly? According to the Weekly, it was due to 'going viral' on the intertubes:
Fat Cookies has become one of the most buzzed-about baking operations in San Francisco, if not the world. Every hour brings dozens of new Twitter followers and Facebook fans, writing things like “Just flew in from the UK will certainly visit!” and “I live nearly as far away from San Fran as possible ― in Germany ― but I hope to visit before the year is out….” Clusters of people stand outside Fat Cookies, taking photos and basking in the glow of the Next Big Thing.
One of the most buzzed-about baking operations in the world? Foodie, please. No doubt they have had a cool gimmick going for them, but have you ever dunked an Oreo in some milk before? That shit is the jam.
Anyway, regardless of the Weeky's exaggeration, Fat Cookies is the latest DIY food operation to get the axe thanks to all the publicity 'street food' gets. Back to buying $10 weed cookies!
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
In the past two weeks, the stock market has plummeted, oil prices have skyrocketed, and a plate of food at Yamo began costing more than a super burrito. I guess this day was inevitable. I mean, being able to stuff your face with house noodles or curry tofu for a scant $5.25 couldn't last forever. But I never envisioned their prices jumping up to six goddamn dollars a dish before Papalote would start charging suckers 10 smacks for a burrito.
Next thing you know, you'll be able call in an order to Yamo and they'll actually remember to make your food. And what a horrible day that will be.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Dolores Park isn't particularly known for its drug-free baked goods, which makes the fact that some DP neighbors are slanging their child-friendly treats like crack just that much richer. Just go up to the string, attach a dollar, and pull the string. Up goes your dollar, down goes a cookie. And this being the city that eats the internet for breakfast, loves it.
(hat tip Laughing Squid. Photos by sandwichgirl)
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Back when I lived in Boston, we ate it restaurants. Then I moved to San Francisco and we ate on the streets. But since I've been here, the standard for gourmet dining has been a race to the bottom. Taco trucks paved the way to curry carts. Curry carts brought mobile baked goods. The mobile baked goods lead to Kid Rock's doppelganger selling Jello shots in the park. Now at garage sales they're throwing in super nachos with every broken sewing machine and stack of 1960's Life Magazines you buy.
Soon the most successful street food businesses will merely hurl gobs of currywurst at passersby.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Looks fancy.
I've been on a mac n' cheese kick lately, so it's worth noting that the City of Oakland, aka the new Mission District, is home to a new mac restaurant, Homeroom. Plenty of solid meat and meat-free options, reasonable beer prices despite a lack of canned beer for sale (!!!), and, naturally, Vegansaurus! is all sorts of pumped for their vegan mac:
Oh hellllll yeah. Finally some vegan mac and cheese action up in this joint! I know of only two other places serving vegan mac and cheese in the entire Bay Area: Souley Vegan (some people love it, some people leave it) and Herbivore (If you held a gun to my head and forced me to eat either Herbivore mac and cheese or Hazel’s dog shit, I’d think reallllllly hard. And then I’d eat the mac and cheese but GOOD GOD, it’s the funk). If you know of others, please let a fat vegan know. Anyway, Homeroom (adorable name) is opening on 40th street in Oakland on Tuesday, Feb. 15
Thankfully, Homeroom is a mere 6 minute walk from the MacArthur BART station, so you can stuff you face cheese and carbs and be back at the 500 Club before the horrifying reality that you left San Francisco sets in.
(link)