5. No kids? Be considerate. If parents are obeying rules 1-4, those seated near a little one should do their best in turn. Ratchet down volume, cursing, cigarette smoke, and other potential annoyances; if you can’t, and it’s possible, move. If conflict arises, a polite word to the bartender, server, or manager can help dissuade face-to-face aggression by redirecting the problem to a neutral party. Parents should also be aware that there are some people who just don’t like kids, even if yours are veritable angels. Most of the world doesn’t have it out for you or your baby, but if you feel you’re making a real effort to be considerate and responsible and someone still gives you trouble, try to take it in stride.

So now the idiots over at 7x7 decided post up some guidelines for all the dumbfucking douchtards that want to bring their little shit factory to the bar. This is totally fucking stupid in it’s own right but what really fucking annoyed me was their rule for people without kids. Yo straight up fuck that shit.

As someone who is constantly being asked to stop swearing and yelling in restuarants by a bunch of whiney little bitchmade softhands who can’t take me speaking how ever the fuck I fucking want I can’t stand this fucking bullshit. This isn’t even about courtesy, motherfucker you brought your goddamn illiterate sack of shitpants to the bar, not me. So when I laugh at your crying fetus because his broke ass can’t fucking read understand that it’s your fucking fault, not mine bitch. You don’t bring your dumbass kid to the Lusty Lady and request a puppet show, so don’t bring them to the goddamn bar you peter pan dreaming assholes. You ruined your life, so stop trying to ruin mine with your little intruding murderer of dreams.

If I wanted to hang out with children I’d be at goddamn Gymboree or some other retarded foam palace of snot and tears. Get your fucking strollers out of my life. I’m a fucking adult and I’m not going to censor myself because you are such a piece of shit of parent that you bring a child into adult situations. Also fuck people who think swearing at work is “inappropriate.”  Motherfucker how old are you? If you think swearing is shocking you need to go back to the kiddie table because grown folks talk how ever the fuck they want. If you think I’m stupid because I use curse words and think that I have a small vocabulary, well then fuck you too. That is some bullshit made up by some snobby ass shitcunt of an elementray school teacher who wanted to feel better than people who swear.

I have no respect for people who use terms like shoot, fudge or hecka. Hecka is the fucking worst because it just proves that these fucking assholes got you in the trap that is religion. That shit isn’t about heaven, it’s about confining your piece of shit ass brain into a system of bullshit so that you eat up all the crap ass regulations these trapping ass bitches try to put on you.

So fuck 7x7
fuck babies
fuck grammer
fuck you

Comments (35)


Serg needs a diaper change. ;)

HA. Why don’t you share how you really fucking feel?


my baby will drink your sissy ass under the pool table, fudge-muncher. (oh no, did i use a word you don’t approve of? lick my schnitz.)

It’s NEVER ok to bring your kid to a bar unless it’s the set of Cheers or an English pub and you are looking for dad.

I don’t mind kids at a bar, as long as they don’t mind me getting drunk and picking a fight with them.

You certainly are obsessed with shit. Would you like to meet in stall #3?

I got my dad punched out at a bar when I was 6 years old. My pool table and video game money had run out, and I thought it would be fun to annoy the shit out of the big-ass biker beardo sitting next to him. That was an awkward walk home, but it stopped him from making me sit in bars for hours on end.

Anyway don’t bring your kids to bars, it’s not a good look. Despite all the fun times I probably had in bars while growing up, the only memories that have stuck with me are the bad ones.

Now I’m walking around all emotionally scarred, and as the cycle of life goes, I’ll probably end at the bar punching you out in front of your kid. So do us both a favor and embrace the reality of your newfound parental responsibility. You’re no Tom Selleck, you’re no Steve Guttenberg, and you definitely ain’t no Ted Danson. Save your beer money for diapers.

I love, love, love bringing my 18-month-old godchild to SF bars. All the time. (One thing I couldn’t get away with in the suburbs.) I get the nastiest looks, too. Mwa-ha-ha.

i won’t give you any nasty looks, but i will talk about fucking and murder and will specifically use the words: shit, fuck, piss, cunt, bitch, asshole, cock, pussy, motherfucker, prick, jizz, meat curtains and darn in front of your precious little ball of skin and hair, and if you don’t like it, you can fuck right off.

as much as i agree with you on the not bringing kids to the bar, I would love to beat the shit out of your rude ass If you spoke to me like this lol

What’s really funny is 10 years from now when you look back on this and feel embarrassed. Or when your kids find it

yeah neither of those is ever going to happen

Oh, now I am hopping mad! I’ll have you tossed out of the bar, sir. TOSSED OUT!


Bravo! Children cannot reach the shelves to pour drinks, therefore they have no place in a bar. Keep your grubby child away from my cocktail.

Bravo! Standing ovation! Yes! Brilliant post.


as a mom and a bartender, i agree with you. besides 7x7 being a stupid snotty magazine, don’t bring babies to the bar. toddlers. whatevs. and don’t try to sneak your kid in one of those body wraps and hide the crying with laughter…bars are a haven for parents and seeing a kid in one is not cool…gah. besides, really?! stupid 7x7. and fuck that move rule cause again - bars are a haven for parental units. do. not. want. kids. around.

can I just say once again, all of you at Uptown Almanac fucking rock, and please keep up the good work. No, really. Please. Don’t make me beg.

Seriously though; that’s one thing I love about SF (and NYC): We have bars. Not bar-n-grills, not bar “areas” inside restaurants. but fucking bars. No children underfoot, glaring at you while you’re drinking a Pliny, no silverware & placemats… that’s the proper way to drink.

fuck yes! bars = no screaming brats. one of the many reasons i frequent them. while i respect yr right to procreate and spread yr demon spawn into the world, blah blah blah, i don’t wanna be fuckin stuck with yr lame ass mistake. can’t find a babysitter? wah. should thought of that before you fucked a kid into existence. yeah!

I agree. This is a conversation between two truckers I overheard on Mission St. recently:
Trucker #1. “…so all of a sudden I’m driving down the fucking road, and the fucking trailer hitch breaks,
and the fucking trailer goes fucking flying!! I was like what the fuck!!!”
Trucker #2: “Fuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkk!!”

lol @ a bunch of bitter faggots

Whatever, animal fucker, just keep your fucking kids out of the fucking bar.

awwww wook, its a wittle pissed off hipster, you white sunglasses skinny jeans cockmongler

How exactly does one mongle a cock? I’m not *that* interested, but I do live in the Castro and like free drinks as much as anyone.

Wow! This has got to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read. Congrats Serg… in the huge pile of idiotic shoot out there, you managed to climb your way to the top.

And by the way, hate will kill you. So will Bob’s on Polk.

Coming from the guy commenting on a blog at 11:20pm on a Saturday night.

hate feeds my non existent soul you fucking strawberry

I can tell, thanks. Well said. And I can tell Bob’s feeds your belly. Try a salad every now & then.

“A man only curses because he doesn’t know the words to express what is on his mind.”

I thought it was “a man only quotes other people because he doesn’t know the words to express what is on his mind.” FUCK.

Ugh, breeders. Why!?!