Lines And Instagrams

The Mill to Begin Selling Toast in Sandwich Form

San Francisco’s famed purveyor of fancy toast, The Mill, is upping its $4-a-slice game. Earlier this week The Mill’s head baker, Josey Baker, announced that starting Thursday his crew will begin serving customers two pieces of toast, covered in toppings and pressed together to form what Baker describes as a “sandwich,” from the counter of the Divisadero Street coffee shop. And you better believe it’s going to be some artisanal shit.

Per The Mill:

We’ve been honing our sandwich game for months, and we think we’re ready to let ‘er rip… so starting this Thursday we’re gonna do just that… JBB sandos every Thur-Sun, 11am til they’re gone, $10 apiece. this week you can expect roast cauliflower + spring red onion, tokyo + scarlet turnips, baby kale, JBB special sauce, roast garlic aioli + provolone. next week you can expect something else rad. let us know what you think!!

Baker seems to be counting on the fact that customers will happily plunk down $10 for a sandwich — even if eight of those dollars are only covering the cost of bread.

And while readers are likely mumbling a collective “that fucking place” at this news, the announcement does present one particularly interesting opportunity. A little-known fact is that every Monday and Wednesday from 6pm to 9pm The Mill sells grilled cheese sandwiches, and during that time the coffee shop is magically transformed into the cleanest BYOB spot the Western Addition has probably ever seen. Hopefully, the bring-your-own-booze hours will expand along with the new $10 sandwich hours and we can all start getting lit in The Mill every Thursday through Sunday from 11am until whenever the food runs out.

After all, excessive amounts of cheap liquor has the power to make even $10 worth of dressed bread go down easy.

[Photo: The Mill]

Don't Blame It On The Bathroom Lines

Mother Nature Continues Proud Tradition of Defiling Dolores Park Muni Tracks

Last night’s storm did more than just jam up BART service. Indeed, it proved once and for all that Mother Nature is a true Mission dirtbag (god bless her). Intense winds knocked down a large tree on the western edge of Dolores Park — blocking the J-Church Line in the process.

Thankfully, the train operator was able to bring the vehicle to a stop before it collided with the felled tree. But still, we have to hand it to Nature for keeping things sketchy on the tracks even when the glass-breaking parkgoers are taking a rainy night off.

[Photo: Diego Ongaro]

Call It A Comeback

Occasionally Read Blog Relaunches

That’s right, your neighborhood naysayer is back on the beat — bringing you the kind of low-quality content you’ve so sorely missed. We’re talking hard-hitting reporting on startup founders, business closings, liquor-store cocktails, and the moment-by-moment movements of Dolores Park rangers. You know, the important stuff.

We’ll still cover all the same golden oldies you’re used to, as well as tackle the larger issues facing our great city. Because we live in San Francisco too, and you deserve better than Nextdoor.

Tips can be sent to holler@uptownalmanac.com.

[Photo: Jano Avanessian]

Laughs

Go See Some Comedy: Drennon Davis at Elbo Room and More

This week, go see comedy and music and/or literature mixed together.

On Thursday, Drennon Davis and DJ Real will be at the Elbo Room. They do a madcap music-comedy-sketch thing that I can’t describe but I love it. Here’s Drennon on Conan recently with Karen Kilgariff to give you a taste. Also go to the Elbo Room before it gets destroyed for more fancy condos.

This week is Litquake, San Francisco’s annual festival of words. Throughout Litquake and Saturday’s Litcrawl through the Mission will be an array of events that include comedians like Greg Proops, W. Kamau Bell, and me, among others.

Finally, mark your calendars now for Tuesday, October 27. I’m presenting another “Nato Green & Friends” showcase at Doc’s Lab in partnership with KALW public radio. I’ve assembled some of my favorite local comics to record standup that we’ll air on future FSFSF segments.

You can hear these recommendations in my deep, sexy radio voice in the segment called FSFSF every Tuesday at 4:45pm on KALW 91.7FM public radio, during All Things Considered, or can subscribe to them on Soundcloud.

Go see some comedy.

Nato Green is a comedian who also writes a column for the San Francisco Examiner, and performs on Saturdays at the Cynic Cave.

[Photo: Drennon Davis]

Laughs

Go See Some Comedy: Mission Position at The Punchline and More

This week, I want you to go to the Punchline. There are a handful of comedy clubs in the country that comedians talk about among themselves as among the best: Comedy Works in Denver, Acme in Minneapolis, the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Cap City in Austin, and the Punchline are usually the top of the list.

A lot of times, comedy clubs can be brainless hellholes where the comedy itself is a condiment for the “house special cosmo” or chicken fingers. If you live in a city with one of the best comedy clubs, you should go to that club.

For three years, the Mission Position has been producing great shows on Thursdays at Lost Weekend Video. Tonight, they relocate to the Punchline for a Very Special Show. Like everything in San Francisco comedy, people develop here until they either quit or launch to greater triumph or greater failure in LA or New York. All the Mission Position alumni come home for one night only. In addition to their current regular (excellent) crew of Kate Willett, Matt Lieb, Jessica Sele, and Torio van Grol, they also welcome back long-lost friends Matt Louv, Trevor Hill, and Casey Ley.

Here’s a taste of Casey Ley. (NSFW.)

On Wednesday, Ngaio Bealum headlines the Punchline. Ngaio is a San Francisco native who lives in Sacramento now. A lot of comics like weed and talk about it, but Ngaio is so funny that his pot humor is funny to people like me who do not and never have smoked it.

Here is a clip of Ngaio on the last show at the legendary Purple Onion in North Beach, before it closed in 2012. (I was also on this show.)

Listen to public radio-sounding versions of these recommendations on KALW 91.7FM every Tuesday at 4:45pm during All Things Considered, or archived online here, or by subscribing on Soundcloud.

Or come see me stand-upping every Saturday with all the cool kids on the greatest alternative comedy show in a video store, The Cynic Cave at Lost Weekend Video.

Whatever it is, go see some comedy.

Nato Green is a standup comedian, columnist in The San Francisco Examiner, and, according to his lifelong friends and family, a “civic treasure.”

[Photo: Mission Position]

Drinks & Laughs

Go See Some Comedy: Myq Kaplan at Cynic Cave and More

From time to time, a week comes to pass where everyone I would want to see live comes to town all at once. This is that week. Clear your calendar and follow my instructions to the letter or you will rue the day. Yes it’s a cavalcade of white dudes, but they’re so good they’ll give you hope for the redemption of an otherwise dying and irrelevant demographic.

First, Sean Patton is at the Punchline on Tuesday & Wednesday. He’s not there for the weekend, because Sean and I will be performing together on Friday in New Orleans for the Hell Yes Fest. Sean is a great comic, and his performance has so much energy and intensity and commitment that seeing him live is a whole other deal.

He’s from New Orleans originally, and helped rebuild the comedy scene there after Hurricane Katrina. As he said once, “if there is ever a time you’re gonna be a comedian, this is when you be a goddamn comedian.”

Then stay at the Punchline Thursday to Saturday to see Dana Gould. Dana is one of the greats. He started in Boston, lived in San Francisco for awhile, and wrote for the Simpsons. He’s one of those comics who makes me want to quit and/or work harder because he’s got it all going on: a point of view, intelligence, a prolific work ethic, darkness, stories, one-liners, characters, act-outs, absurd twists.

This year, Dana gave the keynote speech at the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival. Every comic I know was moved and inspired by this:

Also my friend Myq Kaplan is in town this week. On Thursday, he’s at Doc’s Lab and Friday at Cynic Cave. Myq is so funny and so smart. He has a blistering-pace of delivery with jokes nested in jokes nested in wordplay and bizarre ideas. I love to watch him and you should too:

On Sunday, Mike Lawrence is at The Independent. He just did my show Iron Comic at the Nerdist Showroom at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles and crushed it. He’s great.

Finally, wrap your week up back at Cynic Cave on Monday to see David Huntsberger. David is most known from the late Professor Blastoff Podcast he hosted with Tig Notaro and Kyle Dunnigan, but we’ve worked together a lot of times. Not a lot of people make science as funny as David:

To recap: Tuesday or Wednesday: Sean Patton. Thursday and Friday: Myq Kaplan. Saturday: Dana Gould (or Thursday or Friday when you’re not watching Kaplan). Sunday: Mike Lawrence. Monday: David Huntsberger.

After that, you can scale back your comedy watching for a few weeks. But this week, your time is spoken for, by dick jokes.

Nato Green is also a comedian who recommends comedy on KALW public radio, writes a column for the San Francisco Examiner, and performs regularly at the Cynic Cave.

[Photo: Anya Kaplan]

Bikes & Bikes & Bikes

Mayor Promises Veto of SF's Idaho Bicycle Stop Law, Putting its Future in Flux

It was good while it lasted. For a brief moment this past week, it seemed that the voices of reason might prevail over the all-too-common hysteria that frequently accompanies anything related to issues of cycling in San Francisco. But no, of course not. It was reported this morning by the San Francisco Chronicle that Mayor Lee has promised to veto an ordinance introduced last week by Supervisor John Avalos that would make ticketing cyclists who safely treat stop signs as yield signs the lowest priority for SFPD.

From the Chronicle:

Mayor Ed Lee has pledged to veto any such legislation, a preemptive strike against an ordinance Supervisor John Avalos introduced at the Board of Supervisors last week. It would permit bicyclists to treat a stop sign as a yield sign and ride through without stopping if they decide it is safe.

“I’m not willing to trade away safety for convenience, and any new law that reaches my desk has to enhance public safety, not create potential conflicts that can harm our residents,” Lee told The Chronicle.

Avalos was unavailable for comment, but he has said cyclists should follow the Golden Rule and argued that the proposed ordinance would not discourage officers from citing bicyclists who don’t slow down at stop signs.

On Tuesday, September 22nd Supervisor John Avalos introduced what is being called the “Bike Yield Law” to the Board of Supervisors. With the support of five other Supervisors, the legislation looked as if it would pass and become law.

At present, the six supervisors do not have the required eight votes to override a mayor’s veto.

The proposed “bike yield law” was loosely inspired by what is commonly called the “Idaho Stop,” which refers to the law in the state of Idaho that allows cyclists to treat stop signs as yield signs.

When reached for comment this morning Morgan Fitzgibbons, founder of community organization The Wigg Party (the organization behind last July’s “Wiggle Stop-In”), expressed frustration at the Mayor’s promised veto.

Once again, the Mayor fails to understand the basic facts of what’s on the table. This isn’t about trading safety for convenience, but simply making our streets more safe. It will create more predictable behavior at intersections and will allow the police to ticket the unsafe behavior of the small minority of cyclists who don’t properly yield the right of way—behavior that has nothing to do with whether they obeyed a stop sign that has always been designed specifically for the automobile.

There’s a reason the Pedestrian Safety Advisory Committee has unanimously adopted a resolution in support of this proposed law—it will make our streets safer. Period. Idaho saw a 14.5% reduction in collisions the year following their adoption of a similar law. Mayor Lee should listen to the pedestrian safety experts who know that this is about safety, not convenience.

When reached for comment last week, Fitzgibbons seemed hesitant to celebrate, and was by no means certain of the bill becoming law. Fitzgibbons told Uptown Almanac that The Wigg Party was “certainly excited but we’re not going to celebrate until it officially passes and is signed by Mayor Lee.”

It turns out his skepticism was well founded.

However, according to Fitzgibbons, with Supervisors Farrell, Tang, Cohen and Christensen not having officially announced a position on the proposal, supporters of the law may be able to garner the votes needed to override the Mayor’s veto after all.