— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
This drawing of “Booki” really nailed it, right down to the smelly rear and lactating breasts. Unfortunately, whoever is painting the mural of Na'vi is going to have to cover it up—a loss for us all.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I'm not one to advocate for the destruction of murals, but the mural that was painted on the side of The Summit never quite did it for me. Apparently someone else agreed with me and hotglued a bunch of hair on the women, turning the boring pair of ladies in an hammock into a badass pair of bearded ladies in a hammock. Mural magically improved!
Now this photo suggests that magician that makes “meh” works of art into masterpieces was going to glue something onto the women's eyes, but didn't get a chance to finish their work. What could it have been? Slinkys? A monocle? Googly eyes?! I suppose we'll never know…
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I realize the N Judah is quite possibly the most infuriating, crowded, slow, and self-medication demanding form of public transportation in the world, but there is absolutely no excuse for not knowing how to hold an iPhone while shooting video.
To assist us in this simple “How to hold and iPhone while recording video” tutorial, I've enlisted our 4 o'clock hour college dorm-room buddy, SpongeBob:
In the first photo, SpongeBob is hanging out in Dolores Park amongst the endless fields of flowers and skies of butterflies we've come to enjoy on a daily basis. Unfortunately, SpongeBob has downed a 40 of Olde English and smoked half a bag of grass, so he is shooting video vertically. SpongeBob should be shot.
In the second photo, SpongeBob is 'shredding mad trail' on his mountain bike. Of course, he's riding no handed so he can record some sick youtubes of his adventure. SpongeBob should win an Oscar.
Folks, crackheads will always be crackheads, but we San Franciscans can come together to teach people how to properly hold their iPhones.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
A few weeks ago, I got hella excited that we might soon see Pollo Campero's badass logo of a chicken cowboy that eats his own kind on Mission St. Well, the chain recently posted up their drawings for the restaurant in the window of the space and they're unfortunately ditching their rad look for a more bougie Mission feel with a boring new logo. But just when I was walking away from the restaurant, something to the left of the drawing caught my eye:
That's right: a Mission hipster wearing a trucker hat, Wayfayers, a trench coat, rocking a full beard, and holding a bottle of wine. Not exactly true to neighborhood fashion, but hilarious never-the-less. Plus, you have to give them credit for recognizing the fact that Mission St. is covered in trash, even if they are modeling the fast-food chain after Foreign Cinema:
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Over the years, I've had a number of friends buy $300 pairs of jeans over at Self Edge and proceed not wash them for 6 months. Now, I never quite got the logic behind paying a half-months rent for jeans rather than just getting a cheap pair of Levi's, but everyone has their own fashion priorities. But not washing your pants for six month? Yeah…
Well, some student put his college education to good use and discovered not washing your jeans for 15 months is 'completely safe':
A University of Alberta student didn't wash a pair of skinny jeans for 15 months and science says the fashion trend is safe, but maybe a tad smelly.
Josh Le wore the same pair of jeans to break in the raw denim, so it would wrap the contours of his body, leaving distinct wear lines.
He had his textile professor test the jeans for bacteria before washing them for the first time.
The results showed high counts of five different kinds of bacteria, but nothing in the range of being considered a health hazard.
The article went on to say that whenever the jeans became “a bit funky,” he'd toss the jeans in the freezer and they'd “magically” come out odorless. So there you have it people, skip wasting all your money at the laundromat and start leaving your jeans next to the Costco bag of boneless chicken breasts that have been sitting in your freezer since July.
(CTV News, via Slashdot | Pic by Andrew NG)
— By Zach Perkins |
Pic via KQED
According to the USGS, a 4.1 scale earthquake struck south of San Jose at 4:10pm and rattled cities throughout the Bay. This occurred within minutes of Ed Lee's appointment as interim Mayor of San Francisco. And guess what, I sure as hell don't believe in coincidences, Lee Harvy Oswald OR archaeology before 4000 BC. FEAR THE STACHE.
Hat Tip to Eve @ SF Appeal who posted this coincidence CONSPIRACY before I could.
— By Zach Perkins |
In a cramped Oakland warehouse, covered in graffiti from floor to ceiling, a battle is raging. The air is thick with [medical] marijuana smoke while onlookers guzzle 40oz's in anticipation, their minds already warped from the sideshow freaks and heavy metal bands that opened the evening's festivities. The microphone chirps as the announcers prattle off the next bout; “…Hoodslam is proud to present, Zombie Vinny Boutabi versus Gotho the Bi-Polar Clooooooown!!!” What emerges from backstage is as absurd as it sounds and delivers the clown vs zombie gore-fest that the crowd has been waiting for.
This is not your average small time amateur pro-wrestling circuit. This is as Oakland as it gets. Hoodslam is a bizarre fusion of East Bay hipster, thug culture, metal and pro-wrestling with a sprinkling of sideshow freaks. The story lines are insane; the characters surreal. In the world of Hoodslam, zombies, cartoons and video game characters do battle against traditional luchador and WWE style wrestlers. At the moment, the Street Fighter/CAPCOM characters reigning over Hoodslam with an iron fist of tyranny. We're seriously talking about Ken and Ryu in the ring; I think that even MegaMan made a cameo at some point.
The Displayed Labors sideshow entertains between fights.
THE POINT: The aptly titled 'Hoodslam 2 FOURTH STRIKE: Tournament Edition 3D' is tomorrow. And it's free for the last time. This last show of the season promises to be a big one. Ryu will fight a masked Luchador. E Honda battles a guy in a banana costume. The 'Stoner Bros' will be pitted in a tag-team match against Carmen San Diego and Where's Waldo. Referee Pink Panther vs. Senior Official Winnie the Pooh. It goes on and on (Facebook event details here).
So tomorrow at 8pm, make your way to the 'Victory Warehouse' at 24th and San Pablo in Oakland, for Hoodslam: “The only 420 friendly, b.y.o.beer, music, wrestling, entertainment event of its kind”.
Oh, and if you actually want to know more about this bat-shit insane plot, there's a ridiculous five minute video below that explains the background of the 'Capcom Wars' and previews this Saturday in painful detail.
Again, cause yer dum: (Facebook event details here).
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
— By Zach Perkins |
Things I learned from this trailer:
Rare Exports premieres in San Francisco tomorrow (Dec 17th) at the Landmark Opera Plaza on Van Ness (tickets here). If you didn't watch the trailer, it's a Finnish film about an evil murderous Santa and some dudes who try to capture him, presumably for profit. The film is actually based on a pair of short films from 2003, with a similar premise and starring many of the same Finnish actors. The short films, Rare Exports Inc and Rare Exports Inc: The Official Safety Instructions are definitely worth a quick watch.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.'
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
