Mission District

New Mission Theater to Become Five-Screen Cinema that Serves Beer? (!!!)

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Grub Street brings us the best news we've heard all year:

Alas, we're finally getting word of developer and Medjool owner Gus Murad's plans for the historic New Mission Theater, via the Historic Preservation Commission's agenda for this week. The main item up for discussion at tomorrow's meeting — besides the fight to get some sort of landmark designation for endangered Gold Dust Lounge — is a proposal to convert the single-screen cinema to a five-screen one, with Texas-based Alamo Drafthouse Cinema as the operator. With locations already in Houston, Austin, San Antonio, Denver, and D.C., Alamo has been voted the number-one movie theater in the country by Entertainment Weekly, largely due to their beer and food service, and their policy against playing advertisements before shows.

The proposal calls for the first-floor projection room to become a bar, with the main auditorium space getting restored as a large screening room. Additionally, there would be four more auditoriums built into what was the lower and upper balconies of the theater. Also, obviously, they would restore the iconic, Art Deco, 70-foot neon sign on Mission Street.

As Grub Street goes on to point out, Murad has not had the easiest time getting projects through the city in the past (there was that two year long fight about the Medjool roof deck, and the Historic Preservation Commission hasn't been that receptive to remodeling New Mission in the past).  And it was only a year ago that it was rumored a bowling alley would move in to New Mission, only for that project to go nowhere. But let's hope this all works out, because even an 'independent' chain that wants to bring us beer, food, and cinema without making us go to the Fillmore would be welcome… so long as it doesn't drive The Roxie out of business.

[Photo by Anomalous_A]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Zeitgeist Joins Twitter, Tweets Photos INSIDE Bar

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The final taboo of Mission drinking has been broken:

It remains to be seen whether this a classic case of “do as I say, not as I do” or, in fact, proof that Zeitgeist is finally abandoning their ironic “no photos” policy so the bartenders can tweet out pics of their tats.  No matter, this whole “social media” push, coupled with their removal of the disgustingly endearing portapotties last summer, leaves me worried that the Zeitgeist I once knew is hanging up the sleeveless jean jacket and getting a desk job.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Following Bobby the Bike Thief's Beatdown, Deep V Rim Prices Plummet

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Could it be now that the face of one of the Mission's biggest wheel thieves is all busted up, the folks at Freewheel Bike Shop are slashing prices in anticipation of a sharp decline in demand for the hottest, easily-removable fixie components?  Or, perhaps more likely, is no one these days buying glamorous rims that had a two month long ordering backlog just a couple of years ago?

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Shirtless Crazyperson Yelling Atop Buddhist Temple's Front Gate Shuts Down 17th

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Erika tells us that 17th from Mission to Valencia is completely shut down because a nutter is making a scene and “yelling uncontrollably.”  Not only that, but there's four cop cars, an ambulance, a firetruck, and an army of gawkers helping make this a bona fide spectacle:

This, people, is why you should never read spiritual texts without a sober chaperon.

Dear Mom: I Still Love You

— By Zach Perkins |

I've seen some creepy, stalkerish bathroom grafitti before, but this 1x1.5 ft message scralled in the men's stall at Dear Mom takes the cake. 

Maybe someone took the question posed by the bar's exterior literally, and used the opportunity to express their feelings for their estranged mom? Say 'hi' to your mother for me.

Photo by Mary Bernsen, via Dear Mom's Facebook Page

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

SFPD Allegedly Puts "Bobby the Bike Thief" in a Coma

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Bobby the Bike Thief has been ripping off people's bikes outside of Pop's and along 24th in general for years without SFPD doing a thing about it.  And it's not like there was any question he was guilty.  He'd been caught in the act multiple times.  His picture and (former) address had been well circulated on bike forums and mailing lists.  It had even gotten to the point that gangs of cyclists were going to his house to steal their parts back and were calling for some serious mob justice.  Then around a year ago, he packed up his bags and moved out of the neighborhood.

But he came back at some months back and started jacking people's bikes again.  And this time, SFPD did the dirty work; so says a creditable neighbor who'd like to stay anonymous (for obvious reasons):

So… around 1:45 or so Sunday morning (Sat night) Bobby the Bike Thief was involved in some sort of altercation with cops outside his home that left him in a coma. A citizen filed a complaint against the SFPD and The Police Commission is looking for witnesses to come forward that saw the incident.

As much as I dislike Bobby and think he's a piece of shit, I can't help but feel that no one should be so severely beaten by the police that they end up in a coma.  So I guess I'm just encouraging anyone that did see what actually happened to set the story straight. I'd also hate to have Bobby capitalize on this and sue the city for millions of dollars.

While I dislike violence and despise police violence, this guy ripped off so many of my friend's bikes and some of my bike parts—and nothing comes between me and my bikes—it's hard for me to feel any sympathy for the dude.  But mob justice is no justice at all, and people should be presumed innocent until the courts find them guilty.  So should you feel to aid the pursuit of 'justice', the Police Commission's number is 415-241-7711.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Mission Pool's New Playground Not Nearly as Cool as Dolores Park's

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

John checked out the progress at the Mission Playground and Pool renovations and offers up some preliminary thoughts:

So this is the first piece of children's equipment that's popped up here. I think I saw it erected last week.

I generally think it looks ridiculous, hazardous & the type of thing that Homer built in the Simpsons episode where he was a professional artist. Enjoy!

Harsh!

(But, seriously, how is anyone supposed to climb around on that thing?)

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Seven-Year-Old Mission Mural Destroyed by Vandals

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

DVTDL? reports:

So someone completely destroyed the mural on 17th street between Alabama and Florida over the weekend. The mural was just over 7 years old, and was made by local artists.

While walking by today I took a quick series of the damage with my cell phone. I  quickly pasted them together to give a sense of the damage. It’s pretty unreal. […]

I think the reason this makes me so upset is twofold: 1) I know several of the artists. 2) There is a huge blank white wall just across the street. Dude(s), tag that instead of the mural.

That is all.

I'll spare you the usual “good vs. bad graffiti” debate, as I'm pretty sure we have our minds made up about that.  Instead, here's a couple of shots of the mural, as seen in better days:

Wise Sons Jewish Delicatessen Opening Next Week!

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Yesterday, our pal Jenny snapped these two pics of the recently uncovered Wise Sons Deli storefront.  What we see here for the first time is all the boring stuff like counters and prep areas for sandwich making and what not.  But the good stuff is on it's way.  Oh yes.

Grub Street is saying they're opening next week (after a Thrillist-Groupon RSVP-only-style soft opening thingy this weekend) and, from the looks of it, will be dishing out some pretty incredible foodstuffs.  There's no menu up yet, but they've been taste-testing French toast recipes, making “deli burgers ground with pastrami on challah,” and let's not forget about that chocolate babka.  And while that all looks perfectly delicious, I'm personally looking forward to replacing my daily intake of liquids with vats of vegan matzo ball soup.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Why Drink Fernet When You Can Drink Something That Actually Tastes Good?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

At the risk of alienating everyone who foolishly links civic pride to drinking mouth wash marketed as drinkable alcohol, I'm going to go out on a real limb here and say Fernet isn't that good.  That's not to say it doesn't have its place in the world: a shot with friends when revelling the fact human bodies have adapted to tolerate such acute horror, a gargle before a big date, or perhaps a drink while trying to fit in are all perfectly acceptable justification for ordering the drink.  Otherwise Fernet is just straight-up gnarly byproduct of the lemming-like drinking machismo that plaques our city.

But now there's an alternative beverage to please our made-up herbal liquor palates and it's called Becherovka.

What's Becherovka, you ask? My friend who spent some time in the Eastern European country from which it came described it as “what Fernet would taste like if Fernet was supposed to taste good.”  A more reputable food/mixologist blog describes it in less comparative ways:

[The] liqueur comes with a 200-year-old pedigree. Its secret recipe, a blend of over 20 botanicals, was first formulated by a Czech apothecary and a British-born doctor way back in 1807 in a quest to create a healthful “elixir of life.”

As is the case with most herbal liqueurs, Becherovka's not for all tastes. But if you like your drinks bittersweet, complex, and a little spicy, you'll want to give this cinnamon, clove, and ginger-accented liqueur a try. Weighing in at 38 percent alcohol by volume, it's traditionally sipped neat straight from the fridge or freezer and makes a bracing accompaniment to hot coffee or cold beer.

Sounds familiar, right?  The key difference here is taste, and by taste I mean Becherovka didn't make me gag and privately regret ordering it.

Now, I realize some of you out there will dismiss this endorsement of Becherovka as me trying to stay “hip” and “relevant” and “trendy” or whatever, but I assure you that in a blind taste test, the only person that'll pick Fernet is the guy who cuts himself in a bathtub full of salt water for shits n' giggles.

From what I can tell, the manufacturer only recently started importing this stuff to San Francisco, so it's still relevatively hard to track down. But should you want to give it a taste, it's available now at Bender's, sitting above a pair of testicles behind the bar.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

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