Mission District

Like a Vampire or Dick Cheney, Cafe Gratitude Won't Die

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Seriously:

Café Gratitude’s legal woes stemming from lawsuits brought by former employees have been resolved—what exactly that means for any of the parties involved, they aren’t saying. […]

According to Stephen Sommers, the lawyer for former employees Sarah Stevens and Ravi Shankar, the “matter has been settled” and he is not allowed to discuss the terms.

Matthew Engelhart echoed Sommers' statement.

So, will the restaurants remain open?

“Some will close and some will stay open,” Engelhart said.

How horrible is that?  It's like finding out Osama Bin Laden was shot dead and two months later, “Oops!, we just shot some random a-rab with a beard!”

I'm going to go cry into my kale salad.

[The Bay Citizen | Photo by Jed Schmidt]

Coming Soon to 24th: Meat!

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I saw this… thing in an otherwise empty 24th Street window the other day.  What could possibly be coming soon?  A butcher who sells steaks for disoriented people new to town? A bacon-wrapped art gallery? A combination ping-pong practice space/artisan deli sandwich purveyor?

Places seriously don't even have to sell anything anymore. Come get your meat maps or whatever. It's a thing.

Former KFC Space to Become Pop-up Rice Bowl Joint

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The old Valencia St. KFC location (which, I guess was also this place called “Spork” for a few years) has a nice new all-black finish and, as of tonight, is host to a brand-new pop-up rice bowl spot.  Inside Scoop reports:

Starting tonight, Spork partner Neil Jorgensen will reopen the restaurant space as a short-term concept named Rice Broker.

The crux of the menu will be rice bowls, and it will just be Jorgensen cooking with a few other staffers. He’s redone the interior and given it a new look, too.

“I’ve always loved Asian ingredients, so I’m doing this as an inexpensive fun experiment,” says Jorgensen, who adds he’s looking forward to get back in the kitchen. Even though he’s been running front-of-house operations in recent years at Spork and Thermidor, he once cooked at places like Manresa, Range and Bar Tartine.

That sounds nice and all, but the real selling point is that they have eight (eight!) asian beers on tap.  And their menu, which you can read in full at Inside Scoop, is mostly around ten bucks.

[Photo by Bay Area Veg]

Bender's Gets Brief Shout-out from Anthony Bourdain's "The Layover"

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I'm sure you've been sick of hearing about Tony Bourdain's jaunt through SF since it happened back in August.  And don't worry—we're getting to that point too.  But the guy has a mouth like a sailor, and he pretty much spent his entire time in SF getting housed, so we couldn't help but give his SF episode of “The Layout” a watch last night.

All those places we heard about Bourdain visiting—Toronado, Dolores Park, Rice Paper Scissors, Zeitgeist etc.—made the show, but beloved neighborhood hole Bender's made an unexpected cameo.  This is what he had to say about it:

I could have gone to Bender's for late drinks, but they have live rock n' roll there and this show is so cheap-ass that we couldn't afford to pay the music rights.

Instead, he rolled to Chinatown's Li Po Lounge, where he shoved one of those blackout-inducing mai tai's down his throat.

And, of course, the “live rock n' roll” comment is a lie, as Bender's doesn't have live music on Tuesdays (when they filmed).  But no matter; it sounds like the jukebox has gone and saved the bar from hordes of Travel Channel watchers.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

At Rainbow Grocery, There's Always Power for the Registers

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The power's out and the lights have gone dark at Rainbow Grocery, but worry not: there's enough electricity pumpin' out of the backup generator to keep all the registers going, should you need to stock up on bulk grains and nutritional yeast before the weekend gets underway.

[Thanks for the heads up, Laura!]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Guest Commentary: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH JACK'S KARAOKE CHARGING A COVER CHARGE?

— By ANGRY HIPSTER |

Guys and gals of The Mission, WHAT the FUCK is going on with karaoke in the hood?

It seems like it was just last year that you could be chilling with some lady you found on Craigslist, pop into Jack's for a few personal pitchers of brew and screech out some 80s love duet when the mood struck. It was fucking MAGICAL.

But now… now!… it seems that every Thursday night when I want to howl at Jack's grimy ceiling, they are CONVENIENTLY hosting some “fundraiser” to cure cancer or whatever. And there are people there too! Who are these people? Are they 94110 thru-and-thru, or are they scumbag yuppies who read bandwagon blogs and can afford to just GIVEAWAY four bucks to battered women?

It's borderline entrapment, I tell ya.

I don't buy this whole “donation” thing either. I've seen that Mission Mission asshole (who's NOT from SAN FRANCISCO) walk in all slow-motion like, giving the bouncer an assertive “I know you” slap while gliding past for free. Suspect!

Last night I had that uncontrollable urge to belt out some Talking Heads. So, yeah, I rolled the dice. But when the bouncer told me it was a four dollar donation to the homeless to get in, I spat in his face, threw an uneaten sandwich in the trash, and went to POPS and peed all over the floor.

I was NOT born in a city like San Francisco to pay a cover to drink Busch across the street from a place where frumpy old people go to die. There has GOT to be another way.

(Photo (c) Chris Brennan)

Fecal Face Gallery Reopens Tonight!

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

As previously mentioned, Fecal Face has setup shop on Mission Street (2277 Mission St., specifically) after that massive September fire in the Lower Haight.  And after a month of settling in, they're ready to open their doors tonight at 6 for their latest show, “Fake Sunset”:

During the summer of 2011 FFDG was asked to select three San Francisco based artists and bring them to Sao Paulo, Brazil to participate in the third edition of the MCD LAB shows co-curated by Brazil's NOZ.ART (Ana Ferraz, Lucas Ribeiro Pexao and Tristan Rault). Featuring hand pulled three color silk screen prints, the show opened on July 25, 2011 at Sao Paulo's LOGO Gallery and featured prints from Jeremy Fish (USA), Matt Furie (USA), Aiyana Udesen (USA), Sesper (Brazil/SP), Lucas Cabu (Brazil/SP), Fabio Bitao (Brazil/SP), Talita Hoffmann (Brazil/Porto Alegre), Anthony Nathan (Brazil/Curitiba), Lucas Torres (Brazil/Belo Horizonte), and Alberto Monteiro (Brazil/Rio de Janeiro).

After traveling throughout Brazil during this past Fall, FFDG will host the only US stop for the exhibition on display for 2 weeks with an opening reception Friday, January 6th (6-9pm). San Francisco based artists Jeremy Fish, Matt Furie, Aiyana Udesen along with Brazilian artists and curators Lucas Torres, Ana Ferraz, Lucas Ribeiro Pexao and Tristan Rault will be present. All 10 prints will be for sale framed and unframed. Tecates shall be served.

Tecates! Welcoming your new neighbors to the 'hood! Let's shower them in housewarming presents! I'll bring a cup of sugar, you bring one of those weird Japanese sex pillows.

[More information on the show, including some additional previews of the prints and background on their new space, on FFDG]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Seapunk Washes Up in the Mission

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

It's only been a week since San Francisco became host to the world's first seapunk mural.  Now the blue hairs are already turning up in the Mission's otherwise venerable fashion blogs.  And while this girl isn't sewing her legs together into a flipper shape or tattooing gills on her face, it looks like the Mission has another bona fide subculture to pretend to understand.

(Also worth noting, Kreayshawn just got behind this whole seapunk thing.  Should this go any further, we'll be watching spunkers scuttle around Dolores Park like crabs by summer.)

[Fashionist]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

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