Douchebag Mecca Medjool, New Mission Theater Up For Sale; Realtor Claims "the Mission is Going to Explode"

If you have a few million bucks lying around that you don't want to spend on the Dolores Park Church and would rather spend on a lame bar, Mission real estate owner/enemy of Buddhists Gus Murad is apparently selling off all his property on Mission St.  According to Mission Loc@l, Value Giant is pending a sale that's the equivalent of 4.5 million bottles of $1 dish detergent, Medjool and Elements Hostel is listed at $7.1 million, and the New Mission Theater is apparently being sold to “a very hot group from New York” for a measly $2 million.

That hot group is rumored to be the owners of Brooklyn Bowl, which means the Mission could be getting a bowling alley hella soon.  The realtor of the space tells Mission Local, “Let me tell you, you think the Mission’s hot right now, but if this deal goes through the Mission is going to explode.”  That's basically positive proof that we're getting a bowling alley, because the only things that could make the Mission explode are a nuclear holocaust, bulldozing Valencia, or a bowling alley.  My money's on the bowling alley.

As for Medjool?  Hopefully the new owner burns it to the ground and starts anew.

UPDATE: Turns out Mission Loc@l totally botched the story.  Neither Value Giant nor New Mission are up for sale.  Curbed has the correct info.

(linkphoto by Joshua Dickens)

Comments (7)

i heard we’re getting one at 17th + S Van. Could have been drunk talk at a bar but?

Medjool: I don’t think I’ve ever spent more money on such terrible food. Let the motherfucker burn.

Suck it nerds! This just proves that the Mission really is the new Marina. You think Medjool is full of douchebags??? Wait till you see the kind of people that this new “bowling alley” is gonna bring in.

Oh man, I hope they don’t turn the New Mission into a fucking bowling alley. It NEEDS to be a venue.

I went on a looooong drunken rant last week about how the New Mission Theater needs to become a lazer tag arena. It would seriously appeal to every diverse facet of the neighborhood, except maybe epileptics, and I dunno about you all but I can deal with a few epileptics crying gentrification if there’s lazer tag in the Mission.

That’s so crazy it just might work. (cue A-Team theme)

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