This Can All Be Yours

Bernal Heights Rental Market Remains Awful

Your daily reminder of the depressing soul-suck that is the San Francisco rental market comes in the form of this comically absurd Craigslist posting. Touting such pluses as its location in the “convenient walkable Bernal Heights neighborhood” and the palatial amenity of a “private bath” (which: lol), this 200 square foot gem, originally listed as “an Airbnb tourist rental,” can now be yours on a more long-term basis for a mere $1,400 per month.


Local's Something

Protest Against "Local" Businesses Continues

Local’s Corner, the restaurant on 23rd and Bryant owned by Yaron Milgrom, has had its share of trouble since opening in 2012. The restaurant, along with other Milgrom owned “Local” businesses (Local Mission Eatery, Local Mission Market), has been accused by some of catering to the affected tastes of those that many in the Mission don’t consider local. And it is perhaps this very insistence on naming all his businesses on some variation of the “local” theme that attracted the ire of neighbors in a manner not experienced by similarly upscale places like Zoe’s on 24th and Folsom.

But things really took a turn for the shit in May of 2013 when claims were made that Local’s Corner had refused to seat a Latino family. As reported at the time by El Tecolote:

In the midst of the Cesar Chavez Day celebration on April 20, Cuadra and her family of 5 approached Local’s Corner restaurant at 23rd and Bryant streets expecting to be seated with ease. However, they were denied service by a waiter at the establishment who told the family that he was unable to accommodate them without further explanation.

Shocked and disheartened, Cuadra wrote a formal report to District 9 Supervisor David Campos, who confirmed via email that he is taking the matter seriously, and has since sent the report to the Human Right’s Charter for further investigation.

And while Milgrom met with protestors in May of this year following another incident of vandalism, the above pictured spray paint clearly demonstrates that whatever beef the neighborhood has with Local’s Corner has yet to be resolved.

[Photo: Mission Mission]


Rainbow to Open New Cafe This Friday

Rainbow Grocery is slated to open a new coffee shop this coming Friday. The Collective Cafe, as it is being called, will serve Stumptown coffee and is located next to the main Rainbow entrance on 13th Street.

According to the press release:

We have worked with Stumptown Coffee Roasters to learn how to brew their highest quality (and most ethically grown) beans with the most delicious results possible. […]

The actual structure of the café was designed and built as a collaborative effort between Rainbow worker-owners, local fabricator Hubbard Foss, and architect Tom McElroy. The design was inspired by the work of artist Andrea Zittel.

Swing by this Friday for some free samples in celebration of the opening. Oh, and yes, the cafe will have outdoor patio seating.

[Photo: Rainbow]


The Mill Narrowly Avoids Becoming Toast

Last night The Mill, San Francisco’s premier $4.00 toast emporium, caught fire and brought the SFFD out in force. Fortunately, it appears that nothing was seriously damaged, though the place was in need of a serious airing out when Uptown Almanac checked it out last night.

Update: According to Eater, the fire was the result of a pop-up dinner:

Wilcox, formerly of Mill Valley Beerworks and Gjelina, was holding a “shrimp shack” pop-up at the Divisadero bakery known for its $4 $3.75 toast when, according to a tipster, the ceiling caught fire. […]

As it turns out, the culprit was the Mill’s stock in trade: built-up flour that had accumulated in their flue, and combusted when exposed to flame. The diners’ money was refunded and the pop-up was shut down for the night […]

The Mill reopened on Saturday and business continues as usual. “Small fire in the oven flue, could have been a lot worse,” owner Josey Baker told Hoodline. “In the end, not a huge deal, though a solid scare.”

[Photo: julia_iglesias]

Mission Playground

SF Parks Department Suspends Permit Process For Mission Soccer Field

It turns out the Mission Playground is no longer for sale.

Yesterday, San Francisco’s Recreation and Parks Department repealed its previous policy allowing adults to rent Mission Playground’s soccer field. The decision is unsurprising after the Rec and Parks received tremendous backlash for quietly selling public space for private use, resulting in a bunch of Dropbox/Airbnb employees thinking they could book the Mission Playground without confrontation, as we watched in the infamous video we wrote about last week.

The decision is a step in the right direction, but not enough for one of the kids who was playing at Mission Playground the day of the tech encounter. During their pick up game against the adults who tried to kick them off the field, he claims to have been kicked in the back. The youth says he feels it was it was no accident, and plans to press charges against the man who allegedly kicked him.

He told Mission Local, “I’m not going down without a fight,” adding “I want an apology to my face.”


Get Drunk With Your Costumed Pet For a Good Cause

The SF SPCA has finally provided you with a potentially acceptable reason to dress your loveable pet up like the Cowardly Lion. On Thursday, October 30th, they’re throwing a “Wizard of Oz themed cocktail party” entitled “There’s No Place Like Home.”

The SPCA lets you know what to expect at the upcoming drunken cuddle-fest:

Celebrate the 75th anniversary of The Wizard of Oz and help thousands of homeless pets find their way home for the holidays by starting Halloween early with the San Francisco SPCA! Admission is free - RSVP now!

The weekend kicks off on the night before Halloween with a cocktail party hosted by the San Francisco SPCA and 7x7. Indulge your tastebuds with vegetarian and vegan delights from San Francisco’s favorite food trucks: Hella Vegan Eats, Manna Sushi, Kasa Indian, Eurobistros, Frozen Kuhsterd, and Kara’s Cupcakes, then sidle up to the cocktail bar or enjoy suds from Lagunitas Brewing Company. Snap photos on the Yellow Brick Road and meet @Tunameltsmyheart of Instagram fame. Let your pet bask in the limelight or share the spotlight with matching costumes.  Dorothy and Toto?  Scarecrow and Lion?

Tickets are free and available now, so get on it.


Bike News Commenter Bingo Channels Stanley Roberts

Continuing the fine tradition of trying to make bingo relevant, Seattle-based blog The Bicycle Story just published the above “Bike News Commenter Bingo.” And while this comes from our friends up north, it is hard not to imagine our very own Stanley Roberts spouting off the above generalizations in his escalating efforts to demonize the cyclists of San Francisco.

Mission Playground

Protest Planned to Battle City's Soccer Field Policies

Following on the heels of last Thursday’s video depicting Dropbox and Airbnb employees attempting to kick a group of children off the Mission Playground soccer field, a protest has been planned by the San Francisco Latino Democratic Club challenging the city sanctioned system by which the tech employees reserved the field.

Scheduled to take place this Thursday at 9:00 AM on the steps of City Hall, the protest organizers state the following goals:

1) We demand an immediate end to the privatization of Mission Playground and for all public access be restored
2) We demand that all privatized use for adults of Mission Playground and other youth-used recreation spaces throughout the city undergo community review planned by the neighborhood
3) We demand that community customs and park traditions be followed and supported by the San Francisco Recreation and Parks Department.
4) We demand full-time San Francisco Recreation and Parks Department staff for Mission Playground.

The youth of our city should not have to pay to use our public parks. Their health cannot afford it. Their safety cannot bare it. The relationships and community built from free play is what will help bring our City together. Join us and speak for the youth of San Francisco! Let’s keep our parks accessible to the elderly, disabled, poor and working-class.

The protest organizers seem focused not on the extreme sense of entitlement demonstrated by the Dropbox/Airbnb employees (some of which have apologized for their actions), but rather on the paid reservation system put in place by the Recreation & Parks Department, which fostered the conflict shown in the video. This is a good thing, as protesting the tech community is clearly a losing battle. And there is actually a chance that the city will take a look at their parks policies, which allow for the use of public space to be restricted to only those that can afford to pay for it. 

Things That Go Hump In The Night

The Mission Now Has an Erotic Haunted House

Falling squarely into the category of things we didn’t know we needed, but now we’re pretty sure are essential to the character of the city, everyone’s favorite porn palace has announced the opening of “the world’s first erotic haunted house.”

Hell in the Armory is being described as “a BDSM-inspired, immersive theater/haunted house experience through the basement sets of the world’s largest porn studio.” A press release (surprisingly light on “immersive theater” puns) from Kink goes into more detail:

“We know that many people find Kink’s films scary, so we wanted to have a little fun with that,” said Andrew Harvill, the producer of the event. “The Armory building itself is actually haunted, so setting up a real haunted house tour using our dungeons and sets was a natural fit. It’s both terrifying and, depending on your kink, arousing.” […]

To create the world’s first erotic haunted house, the porn company partnered with legendary San Francisco’s Vau de Vire Society, a subcultural circus with an eye for the extreme.

Hell in the Armory runs until November 1st, and the kind folks at Kink helpfully mention that “parental guidance is strongly suggested.”

Not Coming Soon

Prankster Promises Noe Valley Hooters

Posted on the exterior of the now closed Bliss Bar, this unassuming public notice promises a little excitement for sleepy Noe Valley in the form of cheap chicken with a side of objectification. 

But the families of Stroller Valley can breathe a sigh of relief, as this is clearly a joke. If the proposed (amazing) business name of “Neighborhooters” is not enough of a giveaway, the corporate name of Hooters is actually “Hooters of America, LLC” and not “Hooters, LLC” (as pointed out by others).

[Photo: ErosResmini]