Dear Mom, I Hate You

Since the Mission District was established by urban explorer Straüs VanMission Sløot in 1989, no bar within the jurisdiction of its confines has inspired such polarizing opinions from people as Dear Mom. Built from the ashes of El Rincon, the mere mention of Dear Mom elicits such a dichotomous emotional response that it threatens to tear the native Caucasian community of the Mission District apart. 

If you've been there before, you left with one of two statements rolling off of your tongue: “Hey man. I found this really cool bar. You should come out, I'm having all of my birthdays there forever.” Or “Yo, fuck this place. Get my Segway. I'm going back to NOPA.”

At the end of the day, all we have are facts. And here are the undisputed pros and cons of Dear Mom, which are all very real and none of which based on conjecture. 

Pros:

  • Ample standing 
  • The Bar is co-owned and managed by Neil Diamond's son Brad Diamond
  • Interior lit exclusively with artisan lightbulbs hand-crafted by estranged Latvian light-psychics
  • Over 4 different kinds of canned beers
  • Sports attractions such as football, pool and flannel olympics
  • The bar is made of cocaine-mâché 

Cons:

  • The staff make fun of you if you order a drink
  • Brad Diamond will throw you out if you joke that he's “Your Friend in the Diamond Business”
  • Getting stabbed on Folsom as you walk home
  • No designated coke room (handicapped bathroom)
  • Every record in the jukebox is the new Beach House record
  • The bar is exclusively populated by shitheads

These are the facts as they stand. But seeing as nightlife is a wild, frenzied, subjective medium, it's left to you to decide. You, the plumbers, the joe twelve-packs, and the freelance art directors that give the Mission its gritty, working class spirit. What do you think about Dear Mom?

[Photo via The Bold Italic]

Comments (25)

We only been in there once, for a food pop up. it was pretty nice, and any place that lets me(a parrot) in is ok in our book

At least it’s one of the few places that realises lunch doesn’t start at 3pm.

What was the point of this post? Vehicle for light hipster-bashing? Bragging about knowing 3 facts about the bar? Every bar has pros and cons. I like this site, but this is a piece of shit linkbait post that cried wolf. A few more of these and you won’t be able to monetize this reader’s clicks.

this place needs a personality. im not really sure who could consider it their second home…which in sf bar speak means everything. dear mom needs to get back home and find some roots.

I wish you guys would allow some criticism of your site in the comments. But you don’t.

Sam,

Your first post is total crap. There’s nothing here. Even your facts are second rate. Take an extra day to post something that isn’t utter bullshit.

I’m guessing Sam pissed off some of the shitheads who frequent the place. Just a hunch.

why is everyone so fucking butthurt about this? he’s making fun of the haters almost more than anything. “get my segway” lol

you guys need to lighten up a little…

their tofu dog (with salad/potatoes) for $6 is killer, even if they do only have it 50% of the time

@Not Sure: Stand down redaction boy. Who shattered your passenger window and stole your sense of humor? Six years ago.

So this post isn’t funny. Big deal? You really need to lay into a guy on his first post, eh?

Ah, I get it, it was the lack of the “whimsical bullshit” tag that led you to believe this post was something other than that. You really should know better by now.

Also, if you haven’t noticed, UA isn’t ad-supported. So the only thing your clicks monetize is your AOL dial-up account and your Compaq Presario 4410.

And just to be clear, since you’ll probably misjudge this post, *this is intended to be humor.*

Good night.

I usually head up to Evelyn Lee because everyone is too lazy to walk that far, so it’s relatively empty. You can even find seats on weekends!

FWIW, Sam, I thought it was funny.

This bar must suck since some activists came to the post to denounce it

I will give them credit for generating more blog coverage than every other SF bar combined ever.

Spot on, Tuffy. They even got a plugin from KQED’s forum, courtesy of Ritual Owner Eileen Hassi when they were discussing coffee.

I’m of two minds on Dear Mom. On the one hand, it is an awful bar full of awful people. BUT! On the OTHER hand! It also siphons off all those awful people from OTHER bars. If they weren’t clogging up Dear Mom then they might douching up good bars that I actually want to go to.

So, therefore, I suppose I need to come down strongly in favor of Dear Mom’s continued existence.

this place will go out of business soon, looks like a bunch of white trash to me

At least its love life is resolved.

Excellent piece – especially “Your friend in the diamond business.”

Does it have beer pong like Bar None?

At this point virtually every bar in San Francisco is filled with cluelessly vapid horn-rimmed tattooed losers who desperately need their teeth punched down their fucking throats in order to help pull their head out of their narcissistic asses for just one day, so why is this bar any different?

Fuck this place. I went there on a wed to get whiskey and a beer. I asked for Jim Beam cuz usually its cheap and my liver has gotten used to it. Who ever the person was at the bar who worked there was a total cunt and says WE DONT SERVE JIM BEAM HERE…. I’m like ok Ill take whatever your well is because i was going to use 16 plus dollars on a lamb something on your hella ego inflated bar menu. Fuck this place and fuck the owners, I hope all yuppsters head to DEAR MOM and stay the fuck out of the rest of the mission.

I liked it when this blog was about the bar in its title - I won’t use the name of said bar in case the IPOsters that populate Dear Mom find out about it.

the reason why they’ll be out of business in three years is because that place is too large and it’s impossible to get a drink. a large room full of people not drinking does not pay the bills. they’re the flavor of the moment, but what happens when a year down the line someone opens another somehow hipper bar and the kids stop coming in and all of a sudden monday nights aren’t as profitable. when they stop opening at 11am, give ‘em a year. it’s a balloon full of hot air, it’ll pop sooner or later.

keep up the good work, sam!

Post New Comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. If you have a Gravatar account associated with the e-mail address you provide, it will be used to display your avatar.