— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Jeff Cleary spotted this wonderfully rich, the-gentrification-jokes-practically-write-themselves tag on 16th and Guerrero, noting “at least it's a step up from pussyjuice.”
Wait, what? We're down on pussyjuice now?
[Thanks Jeff! Get a job!]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
The beloved 24th Street Mr. Burbujas mural, featuring the iconic anthropomorphic buff dancing washing machine discharging some serious bubbles in front of a GIANT LOADS sign, has been dealing with vandalism problems over the last few years. But the owners—bless their hearts—persistently repaired the mural, keeping one of the last great icons of Mission District whimsy and wonder alive.
However, sometime in the last four days, they said “fuck it” and just buffed most of it out. Outrage!
Now, one must speculate as to whether they intend to repaint/update the mural or not, especially given that they chose not to paint over the entire thing, notably leaving the tee-hee-dick-jokes GIANT LOADS sign fully intact. And let's hope they do. But in the meantime, Mr. Bubbles' untimely and unnecessary death must be avenged, preferably by firebombing the Benjamin Moore across the street.
(And here's Mr. Bubbles in better, cleaner days:)
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
PLEASE HOLD.
Now that dropping your drawers and tinkling out of a moving bus window is a thing, why not step your game up and straight up shit yourself while riding the Double Duece-Fillmore?
Well, according to @franoero, some fearless pioneer did just that at 10pm last night on the 22:
For the sake of humanity, someone please illustrate this foul scene.
[Photo by @franoero, via Muni Diaries]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Mission Local brings us the good news:
There’s no opening date just yet, but strikes are in the Mission Bowling Club’s [17th and South Van Ness] near future.
Apart from some finishing touches, the staff of 50 has been hired and trained.
Everyone is now just waiting to hear that the venue has passed the last inspections before they open the doors to the neighborhood’s first bowling alley.
Hurrah!
And what is the operation going to look like?
[Anthony Myint, whose operating the kitchen] sees this area of the Mission as a new micro-hood, and thinks someone should come up with a name for it. A few blocks away, new businesses have recently opened, including Southern Pacific Brewery, and Flour + Water’s market is scheduled to open soon.
The bowling alley’s menu will include the popular Mission Burger, as well as bar snacks such as homemade beef jerky and food on sticks.Happy hour will be from 3 to 6 p.m., and dinner service from 6 to 11 p.m. on weekdays. On Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, the alley will close at midnight. Prices will range from $35 to $55 per lane per hour.
Don't worry, Anthony, I'm sure the Bold Italic is already on the case.
(Also, !!!!!)
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Drew Hoolhorst is among of my favorite writers living in the Mission, even though dude's kinda a bro. Bro? Yeah, bro.
He cops to wearing J. Crew button ups and A&F and having a full-time job (which apparently means you're a bro now), yet he also wears hoodies and Ray-Bans and listens to good music and drinking in dives. To him, this makes him a bro-ster, and he's sick of all the Marina/Mission fighting preventing him from finding a suitable neighborhood to call home.
He explains in today's Bold Italic piece:
We live in a city where everyone bitches about how one group of people is more pretentious than the other. Hipsters usually hate bro's, bro's usually hate hipsters, etc.
And that's bullshit.
Any hipster who says they hate bro's? Acts like a goddamn Mission-bro: they're dicks to everyone, they act holier-than-thou and strictly date their own kind.Any bro who hates hipsters? Stop it. In three months you'll be wearing whatever clothes hipsters are wearing now (skinny jeans, Ray-Bans, etc.) because, deep down? You sort of like it.
Bros, hipsters … for the sake of my finding an identity in this town: can we call a truce?I’ve seen both sides pretty regularly. We're not all that different.
We all hate Muni. We all love beer, whether we’re drinking it out of a PBR can or a red Dixie cup with a ping pong ball in it. We all seem to agree on the film Wet Hot American Summer, the show “Modern Family,” and Aziz Ansari in general.
While I always thought being 50% bro and 50% hipster just made you “a dude,” Drew does make some interesting observations about life in the city. Do give it a read.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
PG&E is awful—just awful. And in all their awful awfulness, they cut off power to the Tim “Let Time Smoke” Lincecum-endorsed Valencia Street taco purveyor Tacolicious, forcing the business to close down operations for the day. And to make the situation worse, the business is now forcing their staff of servers and bartenders to perform “manual labor,” which, like, you know, is totally beneath them. So please don't tap the glass and frighten their fragile sensibilities.
[Photo by Mission Local, via SFist]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I've been trying to figure out what's up with Silver Stone Cafe (which is moving into the old Carlos Club spot on 24th and Mission) crossing out breakfast and lunch from their coming soon signage alllll morning. Are they returning us to a time before coffee shops felt compelled to serve small plate nonsense, offering up a little “fuck you, we don't mess with that shit” smack talk in the process? Perhaps they tasted their coffee and realized the line would be out the door regardless, so why bother? Just an honest mistake? Their oven broke?
Guys, this is important. Someone deliver me from this maddened curiosity and produce a suitable explanation forthwith.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
EPA and Around the Bay (which, if you are not already following, is one of the Bay's finer low-key photography blogs) was roaming around the Mission the other day and came across this dude balancing a guitar in an abandoned Mission Street lot. Which begs the question: is this some new busker routine I'm not yet aware of, or just a random training for the skinny jean freak show?
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
That's right, at some point in the last few weeks, Bender's scored themselves a Dirty Harry pinball machine, so now you can partake in all your favorite San Francisco activities like getting into 'car chases' and 'raiding warehouses' and 'shooting serial killers in the fucking chest'. All while drinking PB&J's!
And should you not be excited enough to run over to the bar with a messenger bag full of quarters, watch the 80s-tastic promotional video they made for this machine. The first minute or so is so goddamn ridiculous, you'll swear you're watching some bizarre fetish porno in which some giant hairdo gets bent over the machine and fucked by a police horse wearing Ray-Bans.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Yessir, none of that plastic crap they have at Kilowatt. The new darts setup at Gestalt Haus has real, “accidentally”-stab-your-friends-with-fucking-bar-games metal darts. And best of all? Playing a round is completely free.