— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
According to Mission Station and the Examiner:
Theft reports have been down in the Mission since the launch of a crackdown, Mission Station police Capt. Robert Moser said on the station's website Friday.
“In January we had 50 bicycles reported stolen in the Mission,” Moser said. “In February it was 44. As of March 22, we have had 19 reported stolen.” [Link]
[Photo by Bhautik Joshi | h/t SFist]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Should you have a spare $200 dollars lying around, you can catch a real life glimpse of Portlandia's sketch comedy at 826 Valencia's 10th anniversary fundraiser, which is hella peculiar since Valencia Street (and especially 826) is pretty much ground zero for the shit the show makes fun of. They might as well rename the show Valenciaia. Or something.
But I digress.
If you're anything like me, you probably scoffed at the $200 price tag. And maybe that's justified. But do keep in mind that this is a fundraiser for a noble non-profit that helps The Kids learn to write and get stoked about literature, so it's not like you're just dropping bank on something you could download for free.
Anyway, it goes down April 18th at the St. Regis Hotel downtown. Hosted by Dave Eggers and co-hosted by a dude actually named “Rich Kid Cool.”
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
You've always wanted to check out the view from the top of the U.S. Bank building (you know the one—at 22nd and Mission), and now you finally have a chance.
The occupants of the top floor office (some company called TypeKit, which apparently sells paradigm shifting scalable font cloud hosting mobile instagram whatever) were purchased by Adobe and moving in with their new bosses in Soma. So, of course, they're throwing a free goodbye boozefest next Thursday at 7pm.
From the event invite:
Come celebrate with us one last time as we move out of our Mission St office with a bang. Join us for drinks, food, and music on Thursday, March 29th, at 7:00pm. As we say farewell, we’ll also welcome the new tenant—our friends at True Ventures.
You gotta RSVP to attend, so be sure to go and do that.
[Photos by Ryan Carver]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
As I danced down SVN last night in a frenzied state of sobriety, I couldn't help but wonder what the hell were up with all the new benches lining the street.
At first I figured it was some dumb neighbor trying to make our streets more “friendly” and “livable” or some shit, but it just didn't add up. Why the orchestrated effort to line some 8+ blocks of South Van Ness with benches (no cheap feat, might I add) without installing plaques reveling in one's own Samaritanism? And what kind of do-gooder would put a bar in the middle of the benches preventing two lovers from snuggling together or, more likely, cockblocking a homeless dude from laying down and rubbing one out into a rumpled copy of the Bay Guardian?
Ah yes, only the government is that heartless.
By the looks of it, the city went down South Van Ness and installed benches at all the stops for the rerouted Mission Street Muni lines earlier this week.
Sure, there might be a pile of puke, some wayward refuse, and a medley of decaying organic matter tossed about. And they're certainly not going to keep you dry in the rain. But really, these new old school Muni 'shelters' are so much better than those freakish Clear Channel monstrosities that practically take up the entire sidewalk:
Also, can we keep the benches once the Muni lines return to Mission Street? They, like, make our streets more livable.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
And mis-use of dash is da cool-est.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Internet law requires us to post everything cat-related we come across, and this is most definitely vaguely cat-related. So here you are.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Whether this satanic cerebrum is of any relation to the hell bat from the other day is unknown. Regardless, this is arguably the most enlightened stencil Valencia has seen in quite some time.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
This goofy burrito Kickstarter campaign requires your immediate attention and unfettered access to your credit card:
The San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival (SFCBF) will be a three day long festival celebrating two of the greatest things in the world: stand-up comedy and burritos.
The festival will be feature comedians from all over the country, as well as top talent from our own thriving local scene. Several top headliners have already expressed enthusiastic interest in performing at the festival. There will be no sketch or improv- just pure good old-fashioned stand-up (and maybe a podcast or two for good measure).
The festival will take place in the centrally located Mission District of San Francisco, a cultural hotbed that features a variety of performance venues and gallery spaces. Each of the venues will be within walking distance of each other, facilitating easy migration from one show to another and thereby maximizing the number of shows festival goers will be able to see. Because of this, the best way to experience our festival will be by purchasing a very affordable festival pass, although tickets for individual shows will also be available to purchase.
Oh yes, some undetermined weekend this fall, many of your favorite Mission venues will be full (full!) to the brim with gaggles of your favorite regional and national comics. And what's more? “With each ticket purchase, the customer will receive a coupon that can be used for purchases at one of the nearby participating taquerias.” That's right, comedy and burritos. It's like SXSW comedy, only full of sour cream and absent of all the social media pretension and Rainn Wilson.
Just watch their promotional video:
Of course, like everything else in its infancy, they need money to get it going—five thousand whole dollars to help pay deposits for venues, cover promotional costs, and fund notable Los Angeles comic's cocaine habits a.k.a. “performer fees.” So open up your hearts and wallets to promoters Ameen and Jeff and help make this assuredly awesome festival happen.