Following this morning's post about the view from the new condos at 299 Valencia (at 14th), we began receiving word from a few readers about a Chase Bank moving into the first floor retail space (which a job posting confirms as true).  From one such tipster:

By the way, do you know who one of the tenants will be at the god awful condo at 14th/Valencia? None other that Chase bank. Ergh. A group was trying to push back against this, but since big banks aren't currently included in formula retail law, they kinda gave up.

That group is focused around a Change.org petition created by Quinn Avery asking Chase Bank to “cease plans to build a new branch on 14th and Valencia in San Francisco.”  The petition reads:

This petition represents the residents of San Francisco who, in support of local and communal commerce, demand that plans to build a Chase Bank branch on 14th Street and Valencia cease immediately. While there are two Chase branches in the immediate vicinity (within several blocks), this plan to dominate banking in the area represents a larger dilemma in the Mission district and beyond. The branch’s planned location is 299 Valencia, a new loft residence currently under construction. The starting price of these lofts is $400,000. People of color and the poor will be further pushed out of the neighborhood by such housing units. Chase Bank funds foreclosure and purchases apartment buildings in San Francisco, evicting low-income, senior, and disabled tenants. Chase Bank pushes families out of the neighborhood, but also forecloses upon them nationwide for profit. By signing this petition against the opening of a new Chase branch on 14th and Valencia, you show your support of local San Francisco business against big business, big banks, and for-profit home foreclosure and eviction. San Francisco does not need another Chase branch, but rather more communal and locally owned and operated endeavors.

While the Occupy Wall Street sales pitch will likely fall on deaf ears in the neighborhood, the situation, yet again, raises the important question: is this the type of business we want to see on Valencia?

Valencia Merchants are understandably sensitive about corporate businesses moving onto the street, fearing their foray into the neighborhood will provoke landlords to evict local businesses in an effort to raise rents.  Never mind the fact a big Chase facade will just look horribly out of place on an otherwise good-looking stretch of Valencia.  And while American Apparel was blocked from moving onto Valencia in 2009 by way of San Francisco's anti-formula retail laws, Chase Bank faces no such threat, as the Planning Commission ruled that banks are not subjected to the legislation.

We're told that, in a last-ditch effort, neighbors have gotten together and pushed Supervisors Mar and Olague to co-sponsor an amendment that would classify “financial services” as formula retail, allowing neighbors to weigh in on Chase moving onto Valencia.  There's a hearing scheduled for April 12th at City Hall to review the issue, but the situation already looks pretty grim for the neighbors.

[Original Photo by Curbed SF]

I’ve been receiving some flack for calling the Mr. Mission Competition (which also happens to be a fundraiser for the respectable Leukemia Lymphoma Society) “obnoxious.”  The argument, as it has been argued, is that it’s a fundraiser for cancer research, so the organizers deserve a pass no matter how lame of an idea it might be.  CLASH SF’s illustrator, Stacey Toth, even went so far as to draw up a lovely illustration depicting me as a monkey under the headline “People Like to be Mean.”

And maybe they’re right.  Maybe an awkward, highly-suspect competition run by bros and burners and marketing types deserves that pass because it’s raising money for a good cause.  And if my criticism was in any way interpreted as discouraging people from donating to cancer research, I offer my sincerest apologies.

However, when the promoters essentially call people ‘faggots’ for criticizing them, it gives me pause.  Are these people really noble do-gooders hoping to rid the world of cancer, one questionable event at the time? Or are they just out-of-touch, backwards-thinking homophobic pricks capitalizing on a culture for self-promotion?

I’ll leave you to be the judge of that.

A bunch of Sirron Norris' murals around 20th and Bryant were destroyed over the weekend, with one shitty tag claiming his work “is not art.”

Mission Local emailed Norris about it and got this back:

“At this point, I don’t much care — nothing is safe anymore. It doesn’t matter if you write graffiti or paint a youth-based or community-based mural — it’s all up for grabs in this very disrespectful world we now live in. These kids, just like the Internet, have these anonymous passive-aggressive ways of being cruel and it sucks. But I accept it, and as an adult of 39 years, I can’t go around battling little kids.”

Yup. It has most certainly been a bad year for Mission murals.

[Pic by Sirron Norris]

In the escalation of the Mission vs Marina culture wars, Mission hipsters have inadvertently become what they despise.  Oh yes, in response to the douche-ladden Mr. Marina contest (which I most certainly plan on attending while wildly twisted on bourbon), some internet randoms are hosting a Mr. Mission Competition in which guys who look vaguely like hipsters kiss their arms n' stuff.

From the event's description:

Perhaps you know someone you’d like to nominate who…

• Always ends a big night at Taqueria Cancun
• Spends at least 1/3 of his life basking at Dolores Park
• Is on a first name basis with the waiters at Mission Chinese
• Sports a mustache more ironic than a black fly in your chardonnay
• Immediately gets passed a spliff when he sits down at Revolution Cafe

Your Mr. Mission candidate doesn’t have to live in the Mission but does need to embrace the true essence of the neighborhood. He will have to outperform the other candidates in a series of intense tests, trivia, and activities. There will be 3 judges to impress and scoring will be dependent upon fundraising success as well; each candidate will fundraise for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in order to participate.

Wait, Revolution Cafe?  Does anyone who's not homeless even go to Revolution Cafe?

If you're anything like me (cynical asshole), this competition is seems suspect as fuck.  And for good reason:

These are the “people” putting on the competition.  A bunch of bros, yuppies, and burners: San Francisco's 'other' white demographics. This is literally coming from a company that makes their money by hosting 80s themed adult scavenger hunts.

HOWEVER, this is what you get if you win the competition:

In addition to becoming a local celebrity and acquiring more booty calls than he can shake a stick at, Mr. Mission will be celebrated by local businesses in the form of a Mr. Mission cocktail featured at Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem, a Mr. Mission ice-cream flavor featured at Bi-Rite Creamery and a Mr. Mission coffee blend at Ritual.

I cannot lie; I too would demean myself and dress like a horrible person to get an ice cream flavor named after me/solicited for sex on a random occasion.  So please nominate me for the Mr. Mission Competition; I can out-asshole these kids any day of the week.

UPDATE: The 'sponsors'/webhosts are also kinda homophobs.  Yikes.