Mission District

Rain or Shine, Mission Street Brings It After the NLCS

Despite the ill-timed rain and generally garbage New York weather, Mission Street threw down with hours of horn-honking, flag-waiving, high-fiving screaming tonight.  Perhaps just a taste of the action we saw in 2010, but celebratory mood was nothing short of contagious. There were even a few SFPD riot cops out there blocking traffic and celebrating the victory!

Of course, there was one grumpy officer—who was forced to ride his undeniably sick hog in the rain—that issued stern warnings to motorists honking their horns…

…but fuck that guy.  Go Giants!

(Oh, and if you really want to get into the vibe, here's 20 minutes of audio from 24th and Mission:)

Mission St After Giants Win NLCS at 24th & Mission by knorby

Giants in the Parklet

When I first saw these two guys chillin' in Fabric8's parklet watching game 6, my gut reaction was “of course someone's watching the Giants in a parklet” and started uncontrollably foaming at the mouth with shitty hipster jokes.  But, really, these guys have it all figured out.  Comfy bean bags, a heat lamp keeping them warm, reclaimed wood everywhere, easy bike parking… it's really the idyllic venue for baseball.  Plus, given how this torrential rainmageddon situation is playing out, the parklet should give you primo access to tonight street-side celebrations.

EXOTIC SPECIES SIGHTING: Juggalos on Valencia

The local Juggathological community was abuzz this afternoon following reports of rare exotic Juggalo sightings in downtown San Francisco.  Although their natural habitat includes tents, trailer parks, and wood paneled basements, it is not uncommon for the male Juggalo to wander into more populated areas when methamphetamine supplies run low. Following the scent of Faygo and foraging for joints and titties along the way, the Juggalo, or Ninja as he is sometimes known, may be heard rapping about complex scientific topics such as magnetism or crying out in a series of repetitive wooping sounds. This tiny “gathering” (as a grouping of this species is called) was first spotted outside of Zeitgeist by PD Bird, and later documented marching towards City Hall. Note the sharply contrasting facial markings on both ninjas, and the shiny Hachetman medallion on the specimen on the right. Yes, this is truly a glorious day for Bay Area white trash watchers.

[Photo/warning by Generic]

Clarion Alley Turns 20 With Music, Murals and Movies

If you haven't noticed, Clarion Alley has been getting quite the refresh over the past few weeks in preparation for this weekend's big 20th anniversary party, and they have a lot planned for Saturday.  Megan Wilson of the Clarion Alley Mural Project (CAMP) fills us in:

The block party is all set for this Saturday. We hope to see you!! We have new murals, new songs, new faces and long-time neighborhood artists & residents, in tow.

Free Music noon-9pm (exact lineup below)
Children's Parade and costume contest starts at noon
Projections, Film screenings happening after dark
Limited Edition Zines and T-shirts will be available, designed by artist Rigo23 and others TBA

If nine hours of music isn't enough for you, The Roxie Theater will be showing a grip of footage shot in Clarion Alley throughout the years Thursday at 7pm:

In honor and celebration of the Clarion Alley Mural Project’s 20th Anniversary, the Little Roxie will feature murals by artists from CAMP in the theater’s lobby and storefront window during October. The exhibition will be accompanied by an evening of shorts filmed on Clarion Alley over the past twenty years, including rare archival footage from filmmaker Fiona O’Conner Devereux of the first murals in the Alley, narrated by CAMP co-founder Rigo 23.

See you there!

[Facebook]

Passive-Aggressive Bowel Movements

Because leaving cutesy sarcastic love notes under the windshield wiper of cars blocking your driveway is played out, one 17th Street combination car/dog owner is getting innovative: dumping a translucent blue bag full of crap under the wiper to ferment in the hot summer sun.

(Thanks Amanda?)

Mark Zuckerberg Moves to the Mission District

We sure have been seeing a lot of Facebook's billionaire “I'm CEO, Bitch” living the slow food high life in our fine neighborhood this past year.  From sunny days in Dolores Park, to late-night beer and burrito outings at Phone Booth and Farolito (with a little line-standing at the chosen foodie hot spot Wise Sons mixed in), it seems Mark has been trying to fancy himself as a pure blood poor person.

It has led us to wonder if he is trying to reinvent himself as a “Mission hipster” and others to declare the Mission as “the neighborhood Facebook built.”  It's even spawned some fantastical rumors among neighborhood chatterers that he might be living part-time in La Lengua.

Well, it seems as though the rumors might be more than that, as BuzzFeed's Reyhan Harmanci reports on the claims that Zuckerberg has made the Mission his new home (under the bold headline, “The Heart Of Silicon Valley Is Now In The Mission”, no less):

The techies' migration from suburban Palo Alto to the charmingly gritty — and once less charmingly gritty — urban neighborhood has come in waves, but really settled in this summer when the scene's low-profile king, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, began being spotted around a house at the edge of the Mission, near Noe Valley. But his arrival here, and his cohort's, isn't just a real estate choice: it marks the merger of tech culture and culture at large, a new hybrid in a neighborhood and a city whose key industry used to stand a bit apart. The first tech boom, of the late '90s, brought an influx of new people in the Mission — but it's hard to imagine that the hardcore engineers would have been happy with, say, the level of gang violence and messy artist warehouses a decade ago.

Now, with most of the rough edges sanded off of the previously-poor district, the tech guys are the Mission's mascots, the cool kids. Love it or hate it, the musicians and weirdos who won the neighborhood its hip reputation in the first place have mostly grown-up, fled to Oakland or both. The street artist [movement] “Mission School,” led by figures like Barry McGee and Chris Johanson, is dead.

But Zuckerberg spends time on Dolores Street, often walking his dog, and his part-time residence (he also has a much-photographed home in Palo Alto) is an open secret in the neighborhood. Though residents wondered at first about rather sizable security detail parked in a quiet corner, it appears to be paying some unexpected dividends: apparently a private security guy chased down a would-be burglar recently.

The move makes sense, especially given that Valencia Street pretty much looks like downtown Palo Alto anyway.  But one big question remains: will he be taking the Facebook bus or driving to work?

(Oh, and welcome to the neighborhood, Mark!)

[BuzzFeed]

Go See The Fifth Element at The Dark Room

Note: performance does not actually take place in space.

We were so smitten with The Dark Room's stage rendition of The Princess Bride that they invited back to check out their take on the sci-fi MASTERPIECE that is The Fifth Element.  Our (quick) take?  It's great.  First off, guy playing the role of irritating radio host Ruby Rhod is on about half the cocaine that Chris Tucker was and shrieks a faction as much.  Also, less-obnoxious/phallic hair.  If you've seen the movie, you'll know how critical this is.

But, more importantly, it's fun and begs not to be taken too seriously.  That is to say, they're not blowing up their enemies with actual explosions and what not, but it's stage adaption of The Fifth Element.  If you enjoy the film, you'll probably dig this.

And, yeah, we know between Treasure Island, The Comedy + Burrito Festival, Litquake, and the brand new Target downtown (!!!!!!!!), you might have your hands full this weekend.  But worry not; they've scheduled performances every Friday and Saturday night through Oct. 27th.  Tickets are $20 online, or you can turn up at the door and attempt to get in that way.

Broke-Ass Stuart's Rock-n-Roll Carnival Goes Down TOMORROW

Broke-Ass Stuart and some record company have a big Rock-n-Roll Carnival happening at Public Works tomorrow.  The poster has a lot of words on it, so Stuart simplifies everything for us:

There's 4 bands, DJs, a magician, comedians, burlesque, face painting, fortune telling and Skee-Ball. Dope right? It's gonna be a lot of fun. Plus an hour of sponsored booze by Fireball Whisky. All this for only $7!

Hot damn.  Get your presale tickets here, because it's $10 at the door.

Another Staple Mission Dive Ditches PBR, Cheap Beer

Following the lead of fellow Mission bars Pop's and Blind Cat, Uptown has ditched cheap beer—presumably in hopes of cleaning up the neighborhood's “scummiest dive”.  While trying to order a $2 PBR a few days ago, the bartender informed this needlessly sober customer that “we don't serve that beer anymore” and the cheapest bar on the menu was Tecate for jacked up price of $2.75.  No reason was given.

This is absolutely horrible news.  Not only will it cost me an extra 75¢ so my PBR can come in a fancy red can, but this could very well mean that the Uptown is no longer keen on barely-legal, marker-wielding clientele which the bar is known for.

Back in March, we learned that Mission dives were ditching PBR and cheap beer to reduce vandalism.  It seems, according to bartenders and managers at Blind Cat and Pop's, that dropping affordable brew gets rid of “all the problem kids that ruin the [bars].”  And, sure, it makes sense why a bar would want to get rid of taggers and other such degens who probably cost the bar money.  But it also has this nasty side effect of making drinking more expensive for everyone else.

Besides, does this mean no more bro-on-ladybro fighting?  Or asstowel-less butt-on-chair contact?  The crowd was always part of the magic of the Uptown.  Without it, isn't it just another bar serving perfectly fine $4 local beer on a street lined with prostitutes?

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