Because the name 'Kid Rock' screams authenticity.
In the last month a grip of new info has popped up on the interwebs and shed new light on the bizzare branding machine behind Pabst Brewing; giving us a glimpse at what could have been and a taste of what's to come for the PBR brand. As previously reported, Pabst Brewing was very recently acquired by brand-mogul/dread-pirate C. Dean Metropoulos for a cool $250 million. Papa Metropoulos then gifted the company to his two sons, Evan and Daren, cause like all twenty-somethings these days they desperately needed a job. In my previous post, I questioned whether the change in ownership would cause PBR to 'go (even more) mainstream.' If the recent article on Evan and Daren in Bloomberg Businessweek is any indication, the answer is a resounding yes.
Let's get the character assassination out of the way first so we can move on to the more pressing matters at hand (like 'BAWITADBA!!! WHY IN THE FUCK IS THERE A PICTURE OF KID ROCK IN THIS POST???' My thoughts exactly, friend). The Metropoulos Bros are some spoiled ass New England raised douchetards, who are about as far from both hipster and blue collar (the demographics that keep PBR profitable) as they could possibly be. To start, the MetroBros met with Matt Schwartz of Bloomberg Businessweek in the 35th floor lounge of the Mandarin Orientel in Midtown Manhattan, where he remarked that the Bros “were very much at home.” Schwartz goes on to mention that they had just come from a friend's wedding at Martha's Vineyard, MA, where the MetroBros had “summered since they were boys.”
“Evan, 29, divides his time between Miami Beach, Los Angeles, and New York City. Daren, 27, lives in Los Angeles, in Hugh Hefner's old residence, a 7,300-square-foot English manor house he recently bought for $18 million.”
Through the course of the interview, Evan, donning a green polo and gaudy chain necklaces, discusses his plans to sponsor rodeo riders to promote Lone Star beer in Texas; surfers to promote Primo in Hawaii; a plan to revive the defunct Star and Stripes beer as a military and veteran's beer, and other asinine strategies from Marketing 101 at the learning annex. In discussing Star and Stripes, Evan goes as far as to suggest that drinkers of Bud Light are supporting foreigners TERRORISTS!
With the MetroBros new strategies, it doesn't seem far fetched that they could eventually take up Kid Rock on an offer he made several years prior: to be the celebrity spokesman of Pabst Blue Ribbon. The nail in the coffin for PBR's (falsely) perceived 'authenticity' is already out there people, it's just question of whether or not the new owners will decide to use it. The pair are already in the process of sponsoring Funny or Die produced sketches that will prominently feature PBR, after Evan approached Will Ferrel's company saying: “We want to win. We want to blow these brands out, explode them, and make everyone lots of money.”
Possibly the one single redeeming plan the MetroBros may have for their company applies directly to their Colt 45 malt liquor brand. According to the Business Weekly article, they are currently in negotiations with Snoop Dogg in developing a line of Colt 45 flavors. FLAVORS PEOPLE.
Expect Gin n Juice Colt 45 tallboys to hit a liquor store near you in 2012.
