— By Kate Horton |
Big ups to Fresno, California! As if being the birthplace of the original Popozao, Kevin Federline, wasn’t enough, you can now add the illustrious title of “Drunkest City In America” to your list of stunning achievements!
San Francisco, on the other hand? You placed a pathetic 86th. This is me twirling my cocktail, exhaling slowly, and shaking my head at you with disgust.
If we just apply ourselves people, I know we can do better next year! Fresno should never be allowed to be number one at anything except for producing popstar marrying backup dancers, soul-sucking mediocrity, and meth heads. Oh and probably crops or some bullshit like that.
these three are crazy wasted.
(Full list of shitfaced and not so shitfaced cities here)
Comments (6)
Boston in last place is BS
agreed– this list is bullshit. it bases its judgement on things like DUI arrests. so we’re #86 because we can:
a) hold our liquor
b) walk/bike/MUNI home
we’re basically like that guy you see walking down the street looking all normal and clear eyed and shit, then you he falls down and you take him to the hospital because he’s blowing a .30. we’re stealthy.
San Francisco, on the other hand? You placed a pathetic 86th.
Us San Franciscans choose to drink.
Fresnoids need to drink. There’s a big difference.
Yeah, what Izzy said – DUI arrests and car crashes figure heavily into the methodology, so places like SF, NY and Boston are all really low. Jesus, San Diego was like, 27th, and people there can’t drink worth shit.
This comment thread made me feel a lot better.
average drink price in fresNO: $2.75
average drink price in san franciscoMETHEFUCKON: $7.50