Dolores Park

Model Airplane Scores Epic Shots of Dolores Park

Ever wanted to know what it'd look like to shoot video from a model airplane zipping past Dolores Park?  I certainly have, but considering my habit of landing planes in the side of mountains in flight simulators, I figured doing so would most certainly be a bad idea.

Luckily, the menacing dorks at Noisebridge tried it for us.  Their landing wasn't much better than what I could do, but no one was killed and the resulting video is definitely a cool watch.  Action picks up about 1:30 in:

Rad Dog Returns to Dispense Terrible Dietary Advice

After laying low for a year or so, the overbite Rad Dog has returned to dish out some ever-necessary dinner recommendations.  This time?  In the Dolores Park portapotties, generally the last place I want to be while thinking about what's for dinner (although the floor of the thing looked a whole lot like a slice of Escape).

On a related note, it seems like the city in going into the portapotties with steel wool or something and scrapping tags off the plastic walls, which has to be one of the gnarliest jobs left in the city.

Finally, a Dolores Parklet

Answering the age-old question of where to eat Bi-Rite's ice cream, the creamery has applied to install a parklet in front of the business—just across from Dolores Park.

There’s seating on the sidewalk, and this would give us more space for people to gather,” Bi-Rite Creamery co-owner Anne Walker told Mission Local.

No word if they intend on opening an ice cream stand within the parklet.

[Mission Local | Photo by HawBone]

Masturbating Man Left Out of Cutesy Reimagining of Dolores Park

Designer Jayde A. Cardinalli just did up this piece, mapping out the “crazy characters that hang out in our sunny Dolores Park.”  Cold Beer Cold Water, Ganja Treats, the can collectors, and Masturbating Man Under a Blanket are all conspicuously missing from this polished rendition, but she didn't forget a few of our favorites, such as:

Crazy ladies needing to tinkle!

And…

A dude in an ice cream suit? (!!!)

There's a few more close-up shots, should you want to dig deeper.

Things That Need Your Money: Karaoke Dance Party Robot

You all know Robot Dance Party—the hulking silver robot that wonders into Dolores Park, blasting some ancient Cake track you forgot existed.  Well, the robot, who's apparently a guy in a costume or something, is looking to make some upgrades, including a lighting system, a tablet for people to select songs, and karaoke machine.

To pull it off, it's going to cost the robot $1,500—a lot of money for a robot with no job prospects, unless he has some holes we don't know about.  So it's turning to Kickstarter to raise the money.

Now, we typically don't encourage people to donate to Kickstarters because they're usually for wolf shirts and whatever, but we struggle to think of a better cause than being able to terrorize a playground full of children with a sick rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody while a Robot bounces by your side.  So do consider donating.

[Photo by Julie O Test]

Here's What Bi-Rite Looked Like in 1947

The SF Public Library is still in the process of scanning their piles of old San Francisco photography and recently came across this gem of a shot of Bi-Rite from the days before the velvet rope.  Our favorite signage is there, as are the piles (albeit smaller) of fresh fruit in the front window, but I'm not sure what these empty lots amidst the hot Mission Dolores real estate and this Three Veterans business is all about.

[Photo via The Bay Citizen]

A Stern Warning to Beer Thieves

Perhaps more universally loathed than the bike thief is the beer thief: grubby criminals stalking you at parties, bars, and the park that strip you of a whole dollar worth of mediocre inebriation.  They must be stopped, at any cost.  And in states like Florida, you can literally murder someone for accosting your property.  So why not Stand Your Ground and Keep Your Brew Cold with this badass koozie?

Available now at the corner store at 21st and Valencia (not the one that sells organic bananas, the other one).  Works best with a willful ignorance of the law.

The Great Mission Trash Island

Why Isn't Anything Being Done About the Trash Problem in Dolores Park?

Okay, we get it: trash is a major problem in Dolores Park.  The Fourth of July’s “mountain of garbage” was inexcusable and the Earth Day mess was cruelly ironic. But given all the press the stray garbage in Dolores Park receives, it’s clear that public shaming is not deterring litterers and their ilk.  So instead of complaining about the shit situation, why isn’t anyone proposing credible solutions to the problem?

Let’s take the photo below into consideration:

Photo from Earth Day 2012/DPW

My first reaction is HOLY FUCK THAT’S NASTY.  My second is that people are clearly trying to dispose of their garbage, but the city has, quite obviously, failed to provide adequate receptacles to handle the situation.

Back in 2010, the city nearly quadrupled the number of trash cans along the park on Dolores Street, but that did little to improve the situation.  So in 2011, the city announced that Recology, our city’s garbage company, would increase the frequency of trash pick-ups on weekends and holidays for the park, but that program only ran during the summer months (causing the Earth Day situation pictured above) and still didn’t fully address the problem.

One “solution” to this issue commonly suggested in internet comments would have us encouraging people to carry their trash out of the park.  However in 2007, the brilliant minds of the Gavin Newsom/Ed Lee dynasty had almost all the sidewalk trash cans removed from the city, foolishly thinking that removing the garbage cans would decrease litter (it didn’t).  The result of such a move is now Dolores Park patrons cannot even carry their garbage further away from their park, assuming they would even entertain doing such a thing in the first place.  (And, of course, some suggest people carry the garbage home, but that wouldn’t be in the best interests of all the bars, restaurants, and venues that earn money from patrons leaving the park.)

So why isn’t the city installing even more trash cans and having Recology do even more pick-ups?  Presumably, the city lacks the political will, financial capacity, or both to pursue such a logical solution—never mind the considerations as to where added cans would be placed.

A potentially even more costly, but perhaps necessary proposal would be to have the city treat every weekend in the park as a special event, thus sucking it up and ponying up the cost for a dumpster to be placed at the entrance of the park every weekend.  It would be an added expense to an already strained parks budget, we know.  But if the city is already paying for Recology to make “special runs,” why not spend that money up front to improve the situation?

Now, consider the mess within the park itself:

Alex Chaffee, who took the above photo, notes, “this photo is a complete argument for more trash cans in the park (not next to it). People will move their trash, but only to the nearest receptacle, no further.”  I can’t help but agree.  A certain portion of park users are lazy shitheads—the same lazy shitheads who litter the Mission and the rest of the city—and won’t walk their trash to the streetside receptacles, regardless if they are overflowing or not.  So why not place more cans within the park itself?  The Dyke March organizers always drag a number of trash cans into the middle the park, a solution that has always helped leave the park clean (either that or march attendees are more environmentally conscious—who the fuck knows).  Plus, the park has a number of roads that are accessible to full-sized vehicles, making them easy to empty and maintain.  So why isn’t the city bringing more trash cans into the middle of the park, rather than calling up the Chronicle to yet-again shame ‘the hipsters’ for trashing the park?

We understand that some of these issues may be alleviated following the Dolores Park Renovations, however people want the city to start addressing the problem now.  So, regardless if you agree with any of these solutions or not, it’s time we have a serious discussion about the problem and stop the ceaseless bitching.

Dolores Park Crimewave 2012: Aggro Seniors Get Tough Over Primo Park Seating

“One of the fearsome combatants.”

As the summer of violence heats up in Dolores Park, with the crowds of thugs young and old alike all hopped up on booze and economic depression, the Mime Troupe found themselves center stage to yet another confrontation in the park.  Luckily, WBTC was there to liveblog The Great Battle of the Surly Seniors:

The violence is getting out of control.  What's the solution?  Ban old people?

Anyone Want to Grab Happy Hour Across the Street From Dolores Park?

I guess Dolores Park Cafe is doing happy hour now, in case you want to go to the park and sip beer but not be outside. Think of it as that weird indoor part of Zeitgeist that you never spend any time in and kinda smells like rotten slices of ham…like that, but better lit and scented like coffee and side salads.

Anyway, they're only charging $3 for a beer, the same price that Cold Beer, Cold Water (R.I.P.) charged, only it comes straight from the tap and isn't PBR.

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