Some two years after “Mission Dolores” opened up in Brooklyn, I finally made the 2,911 mile journey to check it out.  And guess what?  It's nothing like Dolores Park!  No weed cookies, no lines for the bathrooms, no hula-hooping, no wet bums, no drum circles… hell, they didn't even have some gross guy blasting questionable music from blown-out iPod speakers (but they did have plenty of Bestie Boys loaded in the jukebox).  They didn't even serve PBR and Tecate, never mind from a guy named James yelling “Cold Beer, Cold Water.”

Actually, maybe this is a good thing….

The bartender, who apparently has never even been to San Francisco, reported that one of the owners was from the Mission, hence its name and expansive selection of west coast beers.  While all it's un-Dolores Parkness might disqualify this bar as “fake”—just another business trying to cash-in on Dolores Park's fame and beauty—it's got some real SF charm to it.  Like two pinball machines next to a wall of mugshots… (side note: what the fuck is up with New York City and their lack of pinball machines?  Maybe I've just been totally oblivious in my travels previously, but the fact you have to hunt to find a playable machine in Brooklyn makes me wonder if pinball is somehow a Bay Area-only sport.  But I digress…)

…and this bitchin' mural of Mission Dolores next to the bar….

…and that the only good tacos I've found in NYC are across the street and can be delivered right to your seat at the bar.

In short, it's a great bar, but not really worth the journey unless you're craving some Racer 5 and tolerable tacos and have the misfortune of not living in the Mission full-time.  (And at least their bathrooms are so goddamn clean that this is all the patrons have to complain about:)

As the City of San Francisco continues its annual temper tantrum over people having fun in city parks, they've found a new menace to direct their attention to: slackliners—you know, those guys and gals who tie ropes from tree to tree and walk across them…real gnarly stuff.  Hide your kids!

See, the city's park policies make this (and many more activities) illegal, and now the slacklining community is looking to get that changed.

Max for SF Slackline fills us in on the situation:

Currently the rule says, “It's unlawful to attach anything to trees” in San Francisco. So technically it is illegal to rig a slackline to tree, attach a hammock, or even place a balloon on a tree in San Francisco. I have meet with the head of Recreation and Parks and they will not change the rule, but If I can prove there is community support and that slacklining is a growing recreational sport, then we can get certain spots (or certain trees) permitted for slacklining.

When Dolores Park was being renovated they wanted to cut down the palms where we slackline. A fellow slacker named Evan sent a complaint and prevented the trees from being cut down. This was first time the city acknowledged slacklining as community supported recreational sport. However in no way did it legalize slacklining, we just prevented trees from being cut down… Dolores Park authorities have tended to turn their back on a lot of things in the park (however, I have still been shut down multiple times in that park). We have always had access issues in city, with occasional ticket threat (in the Presidio in February, I was threatened by federal cop that he would confiscate all gear and give me multiple fines me for illegal movable structure, rigging on trees, and slacklining without permit).

I can understand why the city might want to shut them down, seeing as through they're dirty fucking hippies and what not.  But is it really necessary?  Well, no.  Obviously not—especially since they don't blast dubstep at other park-goers, nor do any real damage to the trees the parks department wanted to cut down in the first place.  But the city is against them anyway, which is causing Max and the SF slackliners to take action:

In response to growing slacklining community and the fact that Recreation & Parks will not classify slacklining as recreational sport, I decided to take action. Slacklining is in a gray area; no one has legalized it, nor is there any rule that says it's illegal. By getting local community support of both slackers and non-slackers, I believe I can pull enough evidence and credibility to designate “slackspots”, specific areas where authorities and park services will recognize its a slackline approved area.

Should you want to show 'em some support, Max encourages you to send SF Slackline letters of support, which you might also want to consider sending along to the Department of Recreation and Parks.

[Photo by Matthew Roth | h/t DP Works]

First, rental prices in San Francisco pushed restaurants out into the streets, creating a fleet of trendy, $4-a-taco mobile eateries that just couldn't cut in the rough-and-tumble brick-and-mortar world.  Now the fashion world is catching up to the foodies, bringing Top Shelf Boutique right to the doorstep of San Francisco's sunburnt and weed-addled fashion community.

With the way rents are climbing, pretty soon every restaurant, business, bar, and apartment will have wheels and a chassis.  Time to bulldoze SOMA and pave a fantastic parking lot with WiFi hotspots and cappuccinos?  Oh wait…

[Photo by B.Shigley]

Amid the sea of useless iPhone apps and silly time wasting mobile games, sometimes there is a shining star just waiting to be plucked from obscurity and downloaded right onto your pretty, unsmashed iPhone. This app isn't shaping up to be one of them.

Dolo supposedly helps you find your friends in Dolores Park. Awesome! We need another “where is everyone having a bitchin' time without you” app in the mix. Also, finding people in the park is hard.

First, you have to sign on through Facebook, which makes sense since it needs to populate itself with your friends list, but still annoying because it's Facebook and I'm a hater (who uses Facebook all the time regardless). Also, the tagline for the app is really unfortunate: “Finding Friends, And Being Scene, At Dolores Park”?

Putting aside the horrific grammar and awful landing page pun, this app could have potential. Could this finally be the app that geo-locates your friends in Dolores so that you no longer have to stand in the middle of Hipster Hill waving like an idiot trying to find your already tipsy friends? Is this the day when you can beeline it straight to your crew, avoiding dudes masturbating under blankets and gnargle-infested drum circles?

No, not today. Once you're logged into the site, you only see which of your friends have checked into the park via Facebook. I hate to break it to you, young app developers, but this app already exists, and it's called foursquare.

(Also, it would totally help any app trying to pinpoint your homies in Dolores Park if anyone actually got cell phone reception there on a Saturday afternoon. Amiright AT&T?!)

Photo via Mark Pritchard