For Just $10 a Day, You Can Sponsor Bladders in Need at Dolores Park

Apparently you have to piss in the shower.

No one will ever claim that the lines for the Dolores Park bathrooms are not completely unreasonable.  Last fall, Rec. & Park claimed they'd fashion The Park with six porta-potties to help the situation, but that only lasted a few months.  And the renovations to The Park, which should bring more toilets to Dolores, won't be completed until late 2013.  In the meantime, park-goers are left pissing on the Muni tracks or risk having their bladder rupture while waiting 20 minutes to pee in a feces-covered cement pit of despair.

Well, for $10 bucks a day, one Dolores Park neighbor has a solution:

I have a quaint bathroom, located in an apartment at the corner of 18th + Dolores. You and your friends will have private access to the bathroom, all day long. Plenty of extra rolls of toilet paper and hand soap fit for kings.

Bring your own reading material. Don't forget to flush.

What the ad doesn't mention is renter's newfound ability to utilize the bathroom to hit on cute boys and girls impatiently waiting in line for the public bathrooms: “Hey baby, you shouldn't be standing in line with all these sixes and sevens when I have my own bathroom just right over there.  How about you and me get the hella outta here and you wipe your ass with my chemically-softened toilet paper?”

From what I'm told, lines like that work every time.


Comments (5)

This person is a genius.

“feces-covered cement pit of despair.”
Brilliant writing there, Kevin. Very accurate.

on festival days like the Dyke March (or I guess any sunny day), I’ve thought about renting my own porta-pottie and charging $20 a use.