President's Day Weekend feels a couple weeks later than when spring usually kicks-off in Dolores Park—probably because Punxsutawney Phil didn't see his stupid shadow this year—but, as they say, better late than never.

[Photo by Polaroid SF]

Yep, back before the J-Church/overflow urinals were built, 19th Street went all the way up to Church Street.  (And now we finally know why those two seemingly redundant and pointless paths exist in the middle of our park.)

[via @SF_Historian]

We here at Uptown Almanac haven't upgraded to iOS 6 yet because we were told the new maps are garbage, but looks like tech blog tantrums were full of their usual frantic shit because iOS Maps has all the hot tips on where we can get effin' ripped—in 3D.

That's right, “Mission Delores Park's” [sic] infamous Truffle Guy, responsible for making many Marina girls freak out and cry, now has prominent placement in Apple's otherwise inadequate maps app—a necessary feature that the Google Dream Team failed to deliver. UA tipsters Lindsay fills us in on her discovery:

RIDIC. I'm sure it's because, of course, he's on Yelp and that is where the data come from. But still.

Yes. But still.

Happy Thanksgiving, dope fiends!

Everyone knows the bathroom situation in Dolores Park is shitty.  You either wait 15-30 minute in a line for the luxury of relieving yourself in the noxious ruins of a once civilized bathroom, or risk getting busted by the cops as you spray down the Muni tracks.

But things get real bad during special events, notably during the Dyke March, when lubed-up revelers take their full tanks to the surrounding stoops and alleyways.  Neighbors are fed up waiting for the city to maybe do something about it, so the “Valencia Corridor” neighborhood group met with Supervisor Scott Weiner and representatives from the Dyke March to figure our how to deal with the chaotic spillover.

Although we missed what must have been a hilarious community meeting full of double entendre and fresh baked cookies, the meeting notes posted by Pete Glikshtern reveal bold proposals.

First, allow the neighbors to sum up their concerns:

The Dyke March was started around 20 years ago as a political action by a relatively small, focused group of persons and, has gradually grown into the gigantic event it is today.

More so than any of the other large-scale events at Dolores Park, the March brings a torrent of pee down upon the streets immediately adjourning the Park.

This we all know.

Nothing shocking here; neighbors are frustrated with The Great Flood that comes every time the lesbians come together to listen to dubstep.  Seems legit.

See, the March packs the park with 20,000-30,000 folks, but only provides 50-75 portapotties.  This is well under the required one plastic pottie-per-100 participants that most street fairs are supposed to have.  The neighbors have a few ideas with how to deal with the problem: 1) help fundraise for more toilets, 2) get potties on blocks people usually pee on, 3) start the March earlier in the morning to cut down on afternoon debauchery, 4) more cops to keep people in check.  All seem like reasonable, measured solutions to a sanitation problem.

However, they have a few more “creative ideas” to solve the pee problem once and for all, without getting cops and cash involved:

-turning the median on Dolores into a pee area by surrounding it with covered fencing, thereby facilitating privacy and squatting

-reaching out to the Burning Man community, specifically the Pee Funnel Camp, to help with volunteers and “equipment.”

What do you guys think?  Are you down to pop a squat in the middle of a four-lane road?  Or maybe lay down in the grass if that's your sorta thing?