— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Apparently Shotwell's Bar held a t-shirt design contest this summer (which, had I known about, would have received some additional unintelligible 1a.m. submissions) and local cartoonists/Shitty Kitty mongerers Telephone & Soup brought it home with the above design. Set to white, price unknown, available now next week at Shotwell's.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Thursday night found the Mission's tallest and particularly windowless facade slapped with a projected Absolut SF vodka ad (visible above, kind of), which brings up an important question: why doesn't the neighborhood rally behind doing something interesting to this wall? It'd make a great home to an homage to the “Lilli Ann” mural, or perhaps another Hendrix Gin ad.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
This event is consistently one of my favorite San Francisco summer happenings. It's part skateboard comp, part chili cook-off, part death metal DJ set, a whole lot of daytime 40oz consumption and yelling, with a couple pools of blood thrown in for good measure.
Just give the shaky video I took last year a quick watch:
The vid obviously doesn't tell the entire story, and, if memory serves me, there wasn't much mid-80s action movie soundtrack being bumped. Lack of hair metal aside, this is a much better time that playing whack-a-mole with roving drum circles in Dolores Park, so grab yourself a Mr. Pickle's pesto sando and post up in Potrero del Sol Saturday afternoon.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Fantastic news, guys: the “controversal” proposal to convert a parking lot at 17th and Folsom to a public park has been approved by Rec & Park, according to Mission Local:
This week, the San Francisco Recreation and Park Commission approved the purchase of the property for $2.42 million. The park proposal is expected to go before the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission next month and before the Board of Supervisors by early October, but the Recreation and Park Commission’s approval typically makes it a deal, according to groups involved with the project.
All the funding for the park, including purchasing the land, constructing the park, and maintaining it for three years, has been raised by private entities. That's right, the city won't have to spend a dime on this project. Of course, the Rec & Park Department is already seeing green:
Rec and Park, already notoriously cash-strapped, may wind up incorporating concessions into the park to offset maintenance costs after the initial funding runs out, added [Karen Mauney-Brodek, deputy director for park planning at the Recreation and Park Department].
Nice.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Feel free to skip the noise and BUY TICKETS.
The first comedy night was such a success that this mediocre tube of internet drivel has teamed up with The Roxie and Pabst to bring San Francisco another night of local comedy and excessive PBR consumption. So come out to The Roxie on Tuesday, August 30th at 7pm for hella free Pabst and comedy from seven of our favorite local stand-up comedians:
Tickets are on sale now for $7 and will also be available at the door. And yes, the first person to show up wearing a Walmart greeter's uniform will receive FREE ENTRY.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Local residents fear impending Bud and Amstel Light shortage will last weeks.
If there was ever a weekend to explicit avoid the Mission, this is it. CrawlSF, the organization behind the UCSB alumni-packed Chestnut Street, Union Street, and Polk Street Pub Crawls, is bringing their clown car of dickbaggery to the Mission this Saturday afternoon. For the fantastically cheap price of $8 (or $20 if you want a commemorative t-shirt), you can gain access to such trendy spots as Blondie's, Skylark, Double Dutch, Elbo Room, Pork Store, and Delirium.
What's the worst is they seem to expect over a thousand people to turn out. And while I understand that a thousand-plus hair gel-encrusted Dane Cook look-alikes soaking the Mission in a miserable game of hipster grab ass on a Saturday is nothing new, they've historically waited until sundown to summon their Uber Cab to whisk them to Valencia Street, when local residents' bodies are sufficiently pumped full of whiskey and marijuana.
This is an unprecedented assault on the shaky Marina/Mission truce, in which Marina residents don't flock to the Mission until we depleted our weekend drug allowance and Mission residents don't flock to the Marina ever.
And just look at the poster:
Ignoring the fact that the Marina's brightest marketing minds haven't yet mastered MS Paint, it appears they are encouraging crawl-goers to wear lensless frames. NEWSFLASH BROS! Dressing up like 21st century Kris Kross (via LMFAO) is not representative of Mission culture. Now get the fuck off my lawn.
(Thanks Andrew!)
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
First puppets were stolen out of a van, now stuffed animals are going missing? What the fuck is going on here, Mission District?
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I have no idea how this is legal I have no idea how this operation hasn't been shut down yet, but this guy has been hawking LET TIM SMOKE and other Giants merch in a ZipCar parking spot at 24th and Valencia for five goddamn bucks over the last few weeks. Considering the very same shirts were being sold out of cardboard boxes along the Harrison bike lane some nine months ago for four-to-five times the price, it seems that even our local t-shirt profiteers have given up on this year's chances of winning a championship and are offloading whatever stolen goods they have left.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
It has been nearly three years since the marketing wizards at Katz Bagels tore down their hamburger-esque bagel alien spacecraft one fateful November morning. Perhaps it was a wise decision, as no one as been pulverized by sesame seed signage plummeting towards the sidewalk since its removal. Then again, no one had been crushed before its removal.
Regardless, its removal came as a shock to everyone, and for good reasons. The Katz Bagel Alien, along with The Roxie's neon tower, the departed 17 Reason's roof-top billboard, 500 Club's glowing cocktail, and Bender's fire-soaked Victorian overhang, had been a pillar of the Mission District storefront iconography. Fears that the spaceship would become another tragedy of Burning Man never came to fruition, but its apparent fate was far worse: The Tenderloin Geographic Society came across the old signage tossed in the back of some 16th Street garage. As The Society notes:
I was shocked to see it, but really glad they didn't throw it away, which means I guess they *sort of* know the value of it.
It was in a garage literally adjacent to where it used to be. I didn't take down the addy, lest someone actually try to make off with it a la Mr. Pickle.
But shouldn't someone liberate this thing? Aren't we better off with the bagel getting covered in playa than dust? Sure, we're all glad the bagel alien isn't rotting in a landfill, but it deserves a more dignified death than this.
— By Serg |
LET'S GET FUCKING BUCK TONIGHT!