I put I stop to this before my South Bay friend started asking me if we were going to “Naturally” and I had used up my July text message quota.  So keep this in mind, San Francisco entrepreneurs: if you give your business a generic name based on the product you're selling, that decision might have the unfortunate side effect of causing tired vaudeville comedy routines to manifest themselves on Apple products.

For all of the Mayor's coyishness about running for a full term, he sure does look like he's running a campaign.  Just yesterday, multiple squads of “supporters” traversed Mission Street collecting signatures to (presumably) get Ed's name on the ballot.  While this group was generally more interested in gawking at lucador masks than collecting sigs, another at the 16th BART station were much more aggressive, literally following people asking them for support.

I tried to figure out what was the hell was going on, but they didn't seem to keen on talking to me, probably because I had alcohol on my breath and generally look like a crazy person.  I'm sure asking “Who pays you?” and “Do you even live in San Francisco?” didn't help.  Regardless, more sketchy electioneering from our astroturfing mayor.

…and replaced them with additional seating for a caucasian tamale lady.

But seriously, there are new wood, concrete, and sheet metal bathrooms that look more like Dr. Teeth than scrappy motorcycle dive that seats 290 drunks.  But as a former Zeitgeist bartender reminded me when talking about the changes, Zeitgeist translates from German as “the spirit of the times.”  Valencia has been repaved, sidewalks widened, and made safe for valet parking.  The motorcycle, messenger, and gearhead clientele has been pushed away and the bar's “surly” bartenders and bouncers is seen more as a cute, if not kitschy feature than a legitimate force of disgust.

Maybe Zeitgeist is just getting with the times.

This year's crop of mayoral candidates sure are doing their best to “connect” with the Mission's youth activist power bloc.  They've invaded Sunday Streets, swept through Dolores Park, collected signatures and volunteer information at Phono del Sol, hung out at taquerias, and Avalos even spun records at Knockout.

The latter was probably the most brilliant move of the all the campaigns thus far.  Not only did it give Avalos tons of free press, but it put him smack dab in the middle of Cool Kid Central, giving him a captive audience to show off the human side of the politician.  Who knows if it did his campaign any good though.  As one attendee put it, “I don't know if I'd vote for him because all I really know about him is that he thinks Twist & Shout is one hell of a jam.”

While Avalos “gets it,” the victim of this pandering race-to-the-bottom is George Gascón, the police chief-turned-district attorney running to maintain his Newsom-appointed position.  George recently walked around Dolores Park trying to connect with young voters who had no idea who the hell he was.  As he slowly meandered through the throngs of kids, he cautiously waved at the people sitting below him, who were visibly concerned if this white haired man was suffering from dementia and needed help finding his caretaker.  When he approached my crew, I shouted out “Hey, Dennis Herrera!” and the sorry son of a bitch so flattered that someone recognized him as a politician that he cracked a wide smile and waved for my lone cellphone.

With the sun overhead, he almost looked angelic in his desperation.

[First photo by Alissa]