bro lets go splitsies on a sack of Brazil - Fazenda Cambara C.O.E.

          bro lets go splitsies on a sack of Brazil - Fazenda Cambara C.O.E.

I don't really get the whole coffee snobbery in San Francisco. When I lived on the East Coast all you needed was a cup from Dunkin' Donuts, and you were set. In San Francisco it seems like the coffee brand you drink really defines you, like saying you only drink Tecate because PBR was so 2006.  Consequently, I feel the heat of social stigmas when I bring up my unabashed excitement for the return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte in all of its Starbucks glory. It's the perfect fall accessory you guys!

Anyway, San Francisco seems to be supporting the coffee bean pushers by supplying the hipster youth at their Mecca with future plans of a Blue Bottle stand in Dolores Park. The following Ken Burns style mockumentary from the people of Killing My Lobster is a rare glimpse into the growing gang mentality of these coffee crackheads fueled by San Francisco's local coffee houses.

Image via Cranked, via some tv show.

The Daily Beast a few weeks ago reported on a new way to experience anonymous video-chatting— video-chatting WHILE HIGH. Seshroulette, is a new anonymous video-chatting service that promises you will never have to smoke alone, so long as you're 18 or older, and are smoking legal marijuana. However, there is no way of tracking whether the person you're getting “hella high” with is smoking legal greens. The site only tracks the city users are coming from, leaving authorities with some smokey rings to jump through if they ever want to actually bust a virtual toke fest. The site also doesn't permit any indecent exposure, so you can smoke assured that your high won't be ruined by some dicks later on…

Intrigued, I decided to try Seshroulette out myself one night under the guise of investigative journalism. The following is my story…

All users are currently smoking with each other. Press Next Sesh, or check 'Magic Stoner-Finder'. grinding the bud… packing the bowl… one sec, please…….

At 11:30 PM I'm connected to a scantily clad female sitting in a sun drenched room.  I say hello, ask her where she's from and try to engage, but she doesn't respond. This chick is here on a mission. Soon I realize that her bikini top is in fact “rasta” colors. She holds up a fat nug to the screen, takes out a large bong, packs a bowl, takes a huge rip, blows smoke into the screen, flips me off and I'm onto the next sesh…

All users are currently smoking with each other. Press Next Sesh, or check 'Magic Stoner-Finder'. grinding the bud… packing the bowl… one sec, please…….

11:46:06> Connected. Enjoy the session!

This time I'm connected to a burly man, reclined in a dark corner, illuminated by incandescent light, and strangely only using one hand to type to me… I introduce myself and find out that this dewd is smoking all the way from that scene stealing town otherwise known as Oakland. I tell him that I'm in San Francisco, and ask if he thinks that pot is better in Oakland than SF. He responds, “Fuck if I know, weed is weed.” I immediately recognize that this guy is awesome and we bond over saving money on the bridge toll by smoking via the internets. My new bff pipes up and squeals, “yea FUCk that bridge toll.”

I wanted to know more, how long has this mystery man been Seshrouletting? A: ive only  been on a couple times so far. 

What have his experiences been so far? A: i dont know, people smoking weed i guess.

What is his real name? A: call me poppa bear.

As soon as I go to ask my next question, Poppa Bear brings out a bong to really drive the whole Seshroulette experience home. Poppa Bear's bong is named “the wizard” because it takes him “to magical places” and he rips its shaft with true mastery. Then he brings out a blunt larger than Snoop Dogg's and I've decided that I've had enough when he starts complaining about getting ash on his couch. 

So, when those dirt bike riding cops in Dolores Park start cracking down on everyone's smoke seshes in the park, at least you know you have a virtual haven to find solace in.  Seshroulette, where you'll never have to worry about smoking alone bro.

I love the new 7x7 website!  Today I went to visit one of my favorite 7x7 blogs only to find out that they 404ed that shit.  Normally the axing of their entire blog network would be news, but they upstaged themselves by getting the most confusing 404 animation I've seen to date:

7x7's mascot, Robby the Roasted Red Rooster (??), can't seem to fly for shit and hits a tree on the way to San Francisco.  Apparently Robby is up in Mt. Sasta because the last time I saw that much pot near a snow-capped mountain I was picking up a 62-year-old hitchhiker that smelled like he slept in cow shit for warmth.

John Waters, Hollywood Smile Train, 2009. C-prints, edition of 5, 26 3/4 x 20 3/4 inches framed. Courtesy of Rena Bransten Gallery, San Francisco, CA

John Waters' fourth solo exhibition at Rena Bransten Gallery entitled, Rush, is now on view through July 10th. The exhibition, aptly titled after Rush liquid incense, the alkyl nitrites inhaled for recreational purposes (more commonly referred to as “whip-its” by the kids I roll with) gives you just that. 

Rush boasts a comical fiberglass mixed-media sculpture of Ike Turner forcing his puppet, a fur coat and pink dress clad Tina Turner to perform a sassy dance. Other memorable works are the film stills of Hollywood stars appropriated onto butts, poking fun at the filmie technique of Rear Projection (the works title) and appropriately finishing the sequence of photographs with “the end,” a perfect double entendre! The piece, Hollywood Smile Train, is composed of images of Tom Cruise, Hitchcock, Meryl Streep, and other celebs with harelips, and not in that hot Joaquin Phoenix kind of way.

The exhibition also incorporates a series of photographs taken from the movie set of Pecker, the 1998 comedy written and directed by Waters about a young photographer plucked from Baltimore and promised to become a New York art star. The stills challenge the contemporary idea of the art worlds relationship with celebrity, its obsession with the next big thing, and the excitement and sadness it all incorporates. 

The exhibition is an insiders peek into the film and art world as seen by Waters, but manages to keep outsiders in on the joke too. The exhibition ends July 10th.