Have You Seen This Kangaroo?
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
First puppets were stolen out of a van, now stuffed animals are going missing? What the fuck is going on here, Mission District?
Crime
Giants Merch Gets Cheap
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I have no idea how this is legal I have no idea how this operation hasn't been shut down yet, but this guy has been hawking LET TIM SMOKE and other Giants merch in a ZipCar parking spot at 24th and Valencia for five goddamn bucks over the last few weeks. Considering the very same shirts were being sold out of cardboard boxes along the Harrison bike lane some nine months ago for four-to-five times the price, it seems that even our local t-shirt profiteers have given up on this year's chances of winning a championship and are offloading whatever stolen goods they have left.
Bike Thief Tackled Attempting to Steal Bike, Gets His Own Bike Stolen in Return
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Our pals at the Get Outdoors Blog alert us to this video of a woman administering a sweet dose of street justice to a would be bike thief:
Kristen Bell, creative associate at WCG, dished out some justice when a would be bike thief outside her offices in San Francisco tried to ride off with a colleague's bike.
They didn't kick the shit out of the thief or chase him down, which struck me as unfortunate when I first saw the video. However, that ended up being a smart idea, as the thief apparently pulled a knife on security guards as he was running away.
But not all hope of avenging the crime was lost, as The Bay Citizen brings us this:
Bell said that before trying to steal the WCG intern's bike, the thief apparently had chained his own bicycle to a sign outside the building. During the courtyard scuffle, he dropped the key to his lock.
The key ended up in the hands of building security guards, who happened to notice the improperly locked bicycle. They unlocked the bike and confiscated it, Bell said.
The whole ordeal is beautiful to watch unfold. Action starts about 25 seconds in:
Have You Seen These Stolen Run-D.M.C. Puppets?
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
This has to be one of the oddest things I've ever seen nailed to a telephone pole:
Marionettes stolen from a van in San Francisco July 5th 2011
Please be on the lookout for anyone attempting to sell two or more marionettes. Two puppets stolen are handcrafted and signed by Geahk Burchill between the shoulder blades. Other puppets are Czech made Jazzy Jeff and Run DMC likeness.
Is there really a thriving black market for stolen puppets here in San Francisco? Are there meets at abandoned Dogpatch piers that result in horrific shootouts because the buyer felt the guy flipping Inspectah Deck and Kid Rock marionettes was a narc?
Anyway, if you come into contact with any hot puppets, the flyer suggests you give 260-3915 a call.
"Hipster Tragedy" Results in Arrest at SFPD Protest
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
A bearded man “visiting from L.A.” was attacked by three lady “FUCKING FAT ASSES” (his words, not mine) while photographing the protests along 18th in the Castro. After being punched a few times, getting pushed into a fixie (pictured right), and having his “favorite [flannel] shirt” ripped to shreds by his attackers, he became irate, screaming at SFPD about his savaged shirt and the “FUCKING INJUSTICE” that they stood by and watched them attack him without doing anything.
After a few minutes of listening to him yelling, the police stormed the entire scene and slapped some cuffs on his attackers, causing two kids carrying skateboards and wearing all black to start heckling in the oh-so-typical Castro tone, “OH MY GOD, IT'S A HIPSTER TRAGEDY.”
Local Cyclist Thwarts Meth Head's Attempt to Steal Bike Parts
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
We all know that photographing bike thieves is nothing new. The Mission has unmasked Bobby the Bike Thief (who's rumored to have moved to the hilltop oasis of Bernal Heights), mid-Market has its share of crack fiend and pony-tailed thieves, and this stunning beauty was recently exposed by local photographer Adumb Egan. While SFPD might never make bike thieft a priority, it's always rad to hear about people watching out for these guys and getting people their stolen property back, as Austin Kamps was recently able to do:
Ran into this guy today. I watched him creep around Montgomery street for a while from a distance, until he found “his” bike.
He finds a bike and then pretends to talk on the phone for a few minutes, then takes his tool out and hides it behind his phone while he unscrews and yanks the seat/post. This happened about a block away. After he did that, I followed him a bit and snuck up to him/scared the shit out of him and ripped it from his hands as he was trying to put it in his bag, then i gave him a “nudge” into the street with my foot. We went back and forth for a bit then he ran off. I ended up getting it back to the owner when he came out a few minutes later. Saddest part was that there were 4 people around him watching him do it, they knew what was happening, they did nothing. If you see something bad happening do something, put your life on hold for a second and help out if you’re able. Don’t let creeps like this ruin someones day.
Word.
Local Lady Lusts After Badge Romance
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Are you a “total babe” of a police officer that has a knack for fashion photography and helping scumbags get to a bar after they were mugged? Your future lover awaits you.
Some Dude is Fucking Up Perfectly Good Motorcycles With a Hammer
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Why would someone possibly want to fuck up motorcycles so bad? Perhaps his girlfriend left him for a motorcycle and the mere sight of a bike gives him flashbacks of his lost lover canoodling with a Harley and sends him into a fit of uncontrollable rage. Or maybe he has werewolf-like properties and the summer causes him to smash motorcycles and howl at the moon during late night blackouts.
Anyway, heads up, motorcycle owners.
'MacBook' Recovered, Thief in Fetal Position at Local Jail
— By Zach Perkins |
Fact: the fetal position is not an effective deterant for jail rape.
It's starting to look like 'This Guy Has My MacBook' was actually NOT a marketing ploy by HiddenApp. Last night, after the story received national media attention (and the Oakland PD received calls from Good Morning America), the man pictured in various compromising positions on Josh Kaufman's tumblr was arrested and his MacBook recovered.
Muthanna Aldebashi, an Alameda cab and limo driver, was lured by police into picking them up for his car service. The MacBook was found in his home and he was arrested for possessing stolen property. Thee-o-so-creepy-one claimed that he was given the laptop as a gift, and the identity of the actual thief is still unknown. So there you go tech investors, now might be a good time to throw some money at HiddenApp, it's definitely earned its street cred.
Check out victim Joshua Kaufman's timeline of the events here.
This Guy Stole a MacBook...
— By Zach Perkins |
No, it's not the lame, new version of a 'guy walks into a bar' joke, it's a tumblr called 'This Guy Has My MacBook'.
The tumblr purportedly contains snap-shots of a thief using a MacBook that was stolen in Oakland from the blog's author. Or, it's some seriously ingenious viral marketing from Hidden, a software service that allows you to remotely use the camera of your MacBook and locate it if it's ever stolen.
Either way, the comic potential of this is limitless…
(Photos via This Guy Has My MacBook)