Romance & Sex

Mission Local Explores the World of Dating Techies

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Mission Local has a really super interesting piece on what it's like to date a techie:

“They were so busy working and learning that anything interesting about me was very interesting for them,” Mary says, reflecting on her experiences while I immerse my fries in ketchup. “They were easy to impress. One was even very impressed by my nose piercing, which is not very impressive at all.” Sweet. That’s hilarious. I cough, spit out some food and ask her to continue. […]

“I dated one,” Carla says. “It didn’t work. I felt that at a personal level, we were very different. I’m an artist and I had the feeling I couldn’t really connect with him or his friends. Their lifestyle was not very alternative, and they were scared about having deep conversations.” […]

“They’re stable, they have money … Maybe we could take a trip to Sonoma County on the weekend. That sounds nice,” baker Ashley Chapman says with a big, sweet smile. […]

“They have a lot of money and are very stingy all the same. They think that what they’re doing is the most important thing in the world. They schedule girlfriends the way they would schedule meetings.” She defines them as “socially awkward,” a term she is not the only one to use.

At the same coffee shop, Rachel Aoanan says that one friend describes himself the same way. “He projects an authoritarian personality at work, but he’s cool, interesting and smart when you get to know him,” she says.

I did learn a lot from this article, like techies must be heterosexual men.  And they have money.  Lots of money.  But sometimes they don't spend that money, except for when they do.  And they are social awkward and reclusive, except for when they aren't.  Did I mention they have money?

Read on for additional interviews and thoughts, including the opinions of three girls who are techies on why girls are interested in their male coworkers.

[Photo by Mission Local | Thanks Eugenia!]

Tums Deploys Risky New Marketing Strategy Aimed at Schlong Gobblers

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I googled around for this new “Cum Tums” product and found a bunch of things that made me kinda uncomfortable, so I'm not really sure what Tums is pitching with this new Muni advertising campaign.  I think it has something to do with heartburn, denigrating gender stereotypes, and calcium deficiency.  Also, my googling leads me to recommend that you don't try to fit one of these chalky discs in your urethra.

Have a lovely commute home!

[Photo by Muni Diaries]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Totally Legit "Improv Performance" Needs Nude Female Volunteers

— By Eric Gregory (@mrericsir) |

Today a co-worker handed me a poster he discovered in the lobby of a local ping pong/art venue:

This poster raises a number of concerning questions, such as:

  • WTF?

I'm can't help but to think this is all a front for some new age cult who needs virgins to “sacrifice” in a drug fuelled psycho-sexual ritual.  But then again, I've read too many Robert Anton Wilson books.

In all seriousness, what does shamanism have to do with improv?  Does one risk ridicule by using Reddit comments as endorsements?  And don't performers normally, you know, get paid?  Perhaps these questions will be answered if you attend the show, assuming said show exists.

But the most troubling aspect of this poster is meta-contextual: has my approach to dating up until this point been completely wrong?  Should I be printing flyers asking women to show up my house naked for an “improv performance”?  Part of me is tempted to cross out the guy's name and number and scratch in my own, then put the poster back and see what happens. 

That's the kind of “Risk for Deep Love” I'm willing to take.

Mobile Sex Confessional Headed to Lost Weekend Video

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

San Francisco is one giant twisted sex story, and Salon's sex writer Tracy Clark-Flory is capturing our sordid saga. How? By filming people's “juicy” stories in a guilt and fear-free mobile sex confessional, all for an upcoming web series.

Oh yes.

Liam from Salon fills us in on what they're looking for when they set up shop at Lost Weekend Video:

Instead of pure titillation, we're going for a range of stories revolving around all aspects of sex, not just the dirty details of the physical act itself (but a bit of that too). During our shoot at Mission Bowling Club on Monday, we found that people were more than willing to share personal stories about everything from being chastised for masturbating on the playground as a child to exploring bisexual desires as an adult. These tales were funny, sad, poignant, bizarre, etc., so it should be an interesting time at Lost Weekend…

And if you don't have any memories worthy of sharing, you could probably masturbate in there to make some new ones to confess about…

Ahem. Anyway, should you want to confess (and, hopefully, not be a pervert right there on the spot), swing by Lost Weekend tomorrow (Friday!) from 7-11pm and lay it out.

Residents Getting Bummed About Prostitution on Capp

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Years ago, Mission District prostitutes were simply known as “Capp Street Hookers” for their preferred blocks of rape limbo.  Then came a series of police crackdowns, which more-or-less made the situation manageable.  But now they're back in force, so says an unsigned petition created by “residents” located near the 20th and Capp hooker parklet:

We, residents of the Mission near the intersection of Capp and 20th streets, are very concerned by the sudden increase in prostitution in our neighborhood.

As you know, Capp Street was once a locus of organized prostitution, but the hard work of the police and the community put a stop to that intolerable situation years ago.

But now, suddenly, it is back — complete with other types of associated criminality, fighting and yelling in the streets, and trash.

We find it unacceptable that we are woken up at night by screaming hookers, that we are endangered by the reckless driving of their customers and associates, that we have to step over used condoms in the morning with our children, and that we feel a sense of menace when we are walking home at night.

Since this is a sudden and new blight in our neighborhood, a criminal enterprise operated by people who are not from the community, we believe it should be relatively easy to nip it in the bud: simply patrolling Capp street frequently—especially on Friday and Saturday nights—and establishing a visible police presence here will scare off potential customers and make our streets an unprofitable place to undertake prostitution. 

As a Capp St. resident, I haven't really noticed the problem getting any worse over the last few months (although I've certainly noticed it).  Are they just exaggerating the scene to get some condoms cleaned up, or is this really getting out of hand?

[Photo by Zara Evens]

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