Dance

In 2006, I watched a charming, somewhat 50’s-inspired young indie band play at what was then the Balazo Gallery on Mission. I bought an EP of theirs called Loose Change. The EP featured six short and sweet, excellently crafted pop songs and I came to love it for its simple elegance and likability. There was no “getting it” involved in the appreciation of these songs, they were just good.

That band was called The Morning Benders. Over the years, I enjoyed reading pieces about them every now and again and took pleasure in knowing that they were doing okay for themselves out in the world. In 2010 they released a much huger sounding and very produced record called Big Echo, which was also good and, despite the sonic maturing, it still had the same simple “songy” charm I enjoyed with their first EP.

Whatever, they were a band, I thought they were good. Cool? This is what they sounded like.

OK. Some of you may remember that at the end of March, The Morning Benders released a statement that they were changing their name because “Bender” means “GAY PERSON” in Europe and so they simply had to change their name to POP ETC (which they did) to protect gay people in Europe from being called gay. Or something. Really high-minded and forward thinking, The Morning Benders. Thanks for saving gay people!

So anyway, these kids changed a whole lot more than their band name. Rather than explain, I’ll just let you guys go ahead and take a gander at the video they just released:

Uh.... Cool, guys. Really cool.

So just off the bat, here are my thoughts.

1. This band totally made a big stink about “we’re changing our name out of respect for the gay community” when it was obviously just to promote their new, completely unrelated white (sorry, asian?) kid smooth RnB jam project.

2. Nice tank top.

3.  It’s hard for me not to feel like this dude didn’t just start making electronic music because it’s super “in”. This could just be because I really like guitars and stuff, but I feel like this music sounds really phony, joyless, uninspired, not super well-constructed, and contrived.

I’m not saying artists shouldn’t branch out and try new things, but putting out boring smooth jamz about “living it up” seems to me like a cop-out. Also, rock n roll is an important American art form that I don’t want to see die in favor of writhing pretty-boys in tank tops. Like, dude are you wearing lipgloss?

Here’s your moment of zen.

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• Eurodummies Call "The Morning Benders" Gay, Band Gets Hella Bent Out of Shape

If you're one of the few people with money that goes to Beauty Bar, a new sign screwed to the wall outside the joint warns of red men thieving the contents of purses.  Presumably, SFPD and the Entertainment Commission forced them to hang this after a string of recent thefts, as described by Yelp reviewer (argh) Issy V.:

Overall experience was just fine, although they seem to have a real problem with theft. Their solution was to remove the hooks under the bar counter, needless to say my bag got stolen right from under my feet. Although I was sitting on my stool the whole time. Don't think I'll go back there again.

Never go back? But what about Crazy Hip-Hop Mondays with The Kidz, Issy?

A few weeks back, I heard rumors that someone was passing out "late-night whip-it delivery service business cards" in Dolores Park.  And here's the proof, curiosity of Boing Boing:

So why punk your friends by ordering a dozen pizzas when you can order a dozen boxes of whip-its?  At worst, they're stuck with a dozen boxes of whip-its.  At best, it turns into a sex fantasy.

[Oh, and be sure to check them out on Facebook, for extra laughs.]

Night Fog Reader recently published a Mission bartender's list of pro-drinking tips.  Most of the tips are pretty obvious, surrounding things that Our Dear Readers would never dream of doing themselves.  However, this cautionary tale from what I gather to be the cocaine sty at Beauty Bar is worth noting:

4. No flip flops in the club
A few weeks ago when I was having a bathroom break and the stall floor was suddenly covered in BLOOD! I threw the door open and see this 21-year-old-looking, head-to-toe-in-American-Apparel, cute art student with flip flops on! What are you even doing in a bar with open foot shoes!? It turns out she stepped on a broken pint glass and sliced her foot. She was soo drunk she couldn’t even feel her cut, and she just wanted to go back to dancing. Alright, no. I took the young child aside, fixed her up and sent her off, but not before I made her pinky promise me that she would only wear closed toe shoes in a bar. Hey, nobody likes a bleeder.

Generally I'd never insult our fashionable readers by implying you need a lesson in dancable footwear, but it appears that some San Franciscans out there think it's a fine idea to dance barefoot, so let's be on the safe side.

[Night Fog Reader]