Dance
After pounding back 23.5 ounces of Lemonade Loko after the Dolores Park Four Loko flash dance, this dude completely falls apart. A warning for all you cool kids out there.
(mixed with News 12's youth ad campaign for the malt beverage)
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Four brand representatives enthusiasts of the the buzz-worthy hipster malt beverage, Four Loko, threw down a 3 hour DJ set atop of Tallboy Terrace Saturday evening. Best described as "fucking sick," the party, between frequent shout-outs to "Four Loko," "Four Loko Party Pack!," and "Who's Loko?!," featured music from the movie Lion King and television show "Cops," a girl wearing a leather jacket and zebra tights double-fisting Pacificos, a couple straight outta Cape Cod, scores of dancing hipsters and one adorably pissed-off puppy:
Of course, the highlight of the party was the sideline dancers:
Inevitably, Local NcMimbydouche called the police to have the fun shut down. Five squad cars and one police van rolled up to Dolores, assembled in attack formation and shut it down.
To the SFPD's credit, they actually seemed quite friendly and reasonable; not giving the DJs a hard time. In the midst of the police "dealing with the situation," Local McNimbydouche (pictured below) crawled out of his palace of boredom wearing his Yale sweatshirt and sweatpants to walk up to the police and DJs, point some fingers, and generally act like the stereotypical neighborhood asshole who believes he owns the park because he lives across the street.
In short, great party, fuck that dude.
UPDATE: in related news, check out "Man Gets 'Way Gone' at Four Loko Flash Dance in Dolores Park"
Previously on Uptown Almanac
via Headline ShirtsThey should just give the money to me, and i'll take care of the renovations...
We'll have an epic party where three people walk away with a new Lamborghini. A Free big mac, a free pack of smokes, and a free 6er of bud light for everyone who comes. Non stop strippers, and fireworks the whole time. We'll pay to dig up Michael Jackson's coffin and have viewings. Lady Gaga will come and sing country music. We will spray one lucky person in gold leaf.
Then when we've used up 99.9% of the money we'll use the last bit to spread some grass seeds. Renovation done.
(link)
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Oddly enough, this video is hella old but no one in the Bay really watched it. Then people in Europe found it, blew it up big, and now SF is finally catching wind. From The Bay Citizen:
It’s the old filmmaker’s joke, “We’re big in Europe!”
Well, that’s certainly the case for YAKfilms’ YouTube video, “Dancing in the Rain,” which shows four men TURF dancing on the corner of MacArthur Boulevard and 90th Avenue in Oakland. The video was going viral through Europe and is now catching on in the United States.
TURF stands for “Taking Up Room on the Floor,” and it’s a form of street dancing that originated in Oakland. In contrast to other street dances, TURF aims to tell a story. And so “Dancing in the Rain” is a memorial to dancer D Real’s (he’s in the white shirt) brother Rich, who was killed in a car accident on that corner.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Slyder over at EPA and Around the Bay spotted this rockstar commando over on Lombard. It's no anarchist swing kids (pictured below), but I'm sure the Marina will take whatever culture they can get.
El Rincon is now open again and the are trying to change shit around so that people can actually have fun there. Saturday some friends are throwing a party that should be plenty of fun, Shane King (Hacksaw Ent.) & B.Bravo (Frite Nite) on the microwave records and they got Chef Marcel banging out food. I've had dudes ribs and they were tasty so yeah holler at that instead of whatever boring your were going to do anyways. I'll be the guy there who smells like smoked meat, day time bbq and then I'm hitting this, should be a successful saturday.-
On Sunday, I was looking for an excuse to get drunk before Church and I remembered it was Carnaval so I cracked open my first Keystone Light at 8:30 and made my way to 24th. Turns out I wasn't the only other person in the mood. In fact, with fears that Bay to Breakers might be canceled next year, I think Carnaval is easily the next big thing in SF degenerance:
- The streets are already closed to slow moving people and floats
- The streets are already filled with semi-naked boys and girls
- The streets are already filled with people dressed in funny costumes
- There are "mad roof parties"
- There are "mad stoop parties"
- The Mission is already covered in garbage and piss
- The parade ends very close to Dolores park, which is already full of garbage and piss
Let's do it people! Fuck those whiny NOPA neighbors. Let's do what we were born to do. Let's get drunk on 24th and piss all over the Mission.
It's our calling.
Even old people were getting into the festivitiesPreviously on Uptown Almanac
Bro was the highlight of my 3 o'clock hour at Carnaval. Just jumping from car to car. Smashing in their hoods. Shaking his ass. Thought about 'doing the right thing' and stopping him but I hate cockblocking fun.
As you can see in the evidence below, he has the vocal chords of a God.
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