Uptown Almanac will be publishing an ongoing series called “MONDAY NIGHT MORE LIKE FUNDAY NIGHT” “MONDAY NIGHT MORE LIKE YOUR DOG IS FINE HOME ALONE FOR ONE NIGHT LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE PLEASE ALL YOUR ROOMMATES HATE YOU NIGHT” in which we explore different places that might be outside of your comfort zone but where you might also have hella fun. And by you, I mean me, because I always mean me when I say you. Also, I’ll focus on the amount of Weight Watchers Points that can be consumed and/or burned while there. You’re gonna love it, fatty. I’ll probably gank quite a few of the ideas from my yelp reviews because they’re taking those down hella fast and I need to save my memories, people. God knows my brain ain’t doing that for me. 

First up, MIGHTY!

Mighty is the perfect place to come the night before your Weight Watchers weigh in. Everyone else is out eating, boozing, sleeping. NOT ME. I’m over at Mighty burning through mad calories like it’s my JOB and bitch, I deserve a raise. You see, sometimes dancing isn’t for fun, it’s for work. Other fools are bobbing their heads, enjoying the music and I’m fucking doing squat kicks all up in their too-cool-for-Jazzercise business. And I don’t know much but I know this: You have not lived until you’ve done double time jumping jacks to drum and bass. I’m telling you, I’m DEAD tired come Friday night but a little voice inside of me says, “Push through the pain! You need this final workout before getting on that scale, Chubs McFat! NOW, DANCE! DANCE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR LEGS!!!”

So put on your sweat pants, grab your water bottle and head over to Mighty. And when you’re done there, find a heated indoor pool, cover your naked body in saran wrap and then do laps around the perimeter until you pass out. That saran wrap really gets the sweat going and water weight is still WEIGHT people. I say, GET IT OFF AND KEEP IT OFF. 

(thanks for the rad photo, LarimdaME!)

Ever since the Great Bender’s-Weird Fish Fallout of 2010, Pop’s has crept up to the top of my list of favorite SF bars (via a fully functional pinball machine/the best drink specials/having Babe on VHS/having good food nearby to bring in [Taqueria San Francisco/St. Francis/Venga Empanadas/bullet casings at Papa Potrero’s]).  Best of all, they have some quality DJ nights.  I was just looking around their MySpace page (don’t even say it) and came across this epic poster for Handlebar’s Wednesday:

Count me in.

Okay, stop laughing, really. No, seriously, there are actually some neat things in the Sunset! Late last night (okay 9 pm, but whatever.) my friend called me (who are we kidding, she text me) to tell me that she and her friends were going to try out a bar in the Sunset called The Riptide. It’s pretty far out there, Taraval at (gasp) 46th, but let me tell you, it was well fucking worth it.

I managed to grab the 29 down Sunset and then ran-walked down 9 blocks to 46th (for warmth, it’s like, cold over here by the coast). When I arrived, I walked in to find a dance floor to my left, and some tables to the right. My friends were already at the tables, but since we’re the lucky girls that we are, the dance party came to us! No joke, we were asked to dance ON THE BAR three times, and each time we declined, the guy did a little jig in front of us, which appeared to be some sort of Riverdance/Moonwalk combo. I’m assuming, in his head, he was convinced that his performance would make us to want to dance too, but no such luck (sorry, guy!).

I went to find The Riptide’s website and found the most basic, boring thing in the entire world, so I wouldn’t recommend you checking out their website (who wants to do that anyway), but instead to check out the actually damn bar. It’s small, it’s local, and they play the best fucking music ever. Plus some chicks hooked up in the bathroom and one girl tried to pee in the walk-in fridge. Oh, and they have some little video-poker-like game thing, and duh, great drinks.

Alright kids, now go out and have fun.

[For more information and reviews check out The Riptide’s Yelp page.]