As cyclists in this city know, getting doored happens more often that you think it does. Just last weekend our very own fearless blogger KevMo was doored by taxi on Sanchez St, which resulted in a swollen knee and a higher than usual bar tab later that night. I was doored by SFPD on my birthday 2 years ago. Commuters and messengers get doored on Market street on a weekly basis. But not everyone walks away with only minor injuries and a dented front wheel when they get doored. Recently, San Francisco resident Melissa Moore had a harrowing experience on Polk Street which left her in immense pain. As she told Streetsblog:

Just before 9am, I was going east on McAllister about to turn left onto Polk Street. I waited for a car to take a right onto Polk before I made my turn. About halfway up the block, the car pulled into the bike lane in front of me and then parked (despite the fact that there was an available driveway less than 10 feet in front of him). I maneuvered out into the street to circumvent the car. When I reached the driver side, he swung open his door into my bike. (I later learned that the door caught my right pedal.) I crashed into the street, pretzeled with my bike. There was a white flash and a feeling of something snapping, then darkness. I heard muffled voices asking if I was okay. Unable to speak or move for a couple minutes, I searched for my breath and assessed if the snapping was my spine breaking. It hurt immensely and I expressed that to the anonymous voices. The driver asked if I wanted him to call the police and I said “yes.” Then I felt hands on me, pulling me up off the ground.

Melissa goes on to recount when the police came, her going to the hospital, etc., but the worst is what happened when she filed a claim with the drivers insurance company, Geico. They claimed that she was 20% at fault in this accident because, as Geico puts it, she “failed to control [her] speed in order to avoid an accident and lost control of [her] bicycle.”

Let that sink in for a minute. A cyclist, going uphill on Polk street, failed to control her speed, and crashed into a door.

I don't personally know Melissa, so I don't know how fast she is on a bike or how strong a of climber she is, but I'm betting that she did not accelerate into the door while sprinting uphill on her mountain bike. And I know that I am not wrong because there is a video of the entire accident. Watch for yourself:

As you can see, she suddenly accelerates to Lance Armstrong on EPO speeds and completely rips off the drivers side door due to the force of the impact, all while screaming HULK SMASH. Or at least that's what Geico sees this as. Unbelievable.

I'd also like to point out that California Vehicle Code 22517, as mentioned in the Streetsblog article, is very ambiguous. While the code states that you cannot open your car door into traffic unless it's safe to do so, it offers no protection for cyclists who have to weave in and out of traffic because of drivers that do stop in the bike lane, taxi or private car. It does, however, does apply when a cyclist is riding to the right of the car in a non-designated bike lane, like on Market St.  This law was made to protect cyclists, but it cannot protect cyclists in all situations, so what could be changed to better protect cyclists like Melissa and everyone else who rides bikes?

[Streetsblog]

Ordinary Weirdos appears to be San Francisco's very own version of “You're On Candid Camera” meets an Art School exercise in voyeuristic banality (BAM! FILM SCHOOL! GOT MY MONEY'S WORTH MOM AND DAD.)

The first Ordinary Weirdos video I saw featured a pair of transients smoking and drinking outside a McDonald’s, and I was concerned that the whole thing was going to be some sort of class-tourism video-expedition-into-poverty for the sake of “art”.  But the next few videos that I watched, featuring a surfer changing out of a wetsuit behind his Corvette and a woman with a well-endowed posterior posing for wedding party photos, assured me that Ordinary Weirdos was voyeuristic simply for the oddly compelling creep factor alone. There’s something soothing about the stillness of these videos that appeals to the lurker in us all. Or at least just in me. 

If you are not immediately familiar with DJ Primo (and we're sure you are), he's the man behind seemingly half of San Francisco's best DJ nights.  And this mini-doc pretty much tells you why that's so: total obsession with music, with no boring-ass adult day job to distract him, and a whole lot of goofy solo apartment dancing.  It's definitely worth a watch, if you're into this sort of thing, or looking for a brief escape from the post-holiday work grind. Plus, it feels like watching an indie episode of Hoarders.

Anyway, if you aren't familiar with Primo and are looking to party on Friday, you can get yourself acquainted at Oldies Night at The Knockout.

We think this trailer is enough proof as to why you should attend tonight's showing, but here are some words to go with it:

This holiday season, Everything Is Terrible!, the world famous psychedelic soldiers of found footage, return with another epic masterpiece! Over the last 5 years EIT! has built upon their classic Holiday Special, each year creating a more abominable video collage of everyone’s least favorite time of the year! A millennium's worth of VHS memories of misplaced sentimentalities, fist fights over toys for tots, erotic Santas, Nazi elves, and an endless parade of singing kids will surely destroy us all! Will this holiday season be our last? Will our Maya brothers and sisters of so many moons ago be correct in their prediction of doom? After all the dust settles, and our world as we know it is no more, will we have learned the true meaning of the season? There is only one way to find the answers that we seek! Watch one more crappy holiday special! This holiday season Everything Is Terrible! will be served on ice!

They're also promising “puppets, sing-a-longs, candy, fake snow, and a visit from the big man himself,” so you're definitely not going to want to miss this.

10pm, $15, The Roxie Theater, tonight!