Back in January, this escaped nursing home patient cut down the beloved Valencia Street tree swing with a box cutter, only to call the cops on herself when an angry mob of joy defenders confronted her.  The situation was not resolved by sending her back to the bingo board, but rather SFPD let her free at the scene, citing an unfamiliarity with tree swing laws.

Now, nearly 8 months later, she's back on Valencia, brandishing her sharp knife and dull personality, cutting down fliers, scrapping stickers, and damaging government property.

The two hour rampage, in which she slowly made her way from 17th to 14th, reached a fever pitch when a bystander phoned up SFPD to have her hauled off.  However, the officer, not really sure what to make of the concerned citizen stand-off, briefly tried to get her to stop as she kept working the box cutter mere feet from the officer.  He then began lecturing her on what was okay to remove (graffiti) and not okay (city decals, signage posted by SFPD, pretty much everything) and I got outta there before shots were fired.

If anyone knows how to get a hold of her caretaker, please do.

I couldn't believe it: just hours ago, I was standing outside of Taqueria Cancun getting dancing tips from some wobbly crackheads when all the sudden water started bubbling up out of the concrete.  It sputtered and stank, as if it had been guzzling Pabst and Royal Gate Vodka all night and pissed itself in a moment of pure fuckititude.

Anyway, further proof that our government is full of communists trying to take our jobs.

In news that'll make you never want to ride BART again, the Chronicle reveals the reason why the BART station escalators don't work for shit:

When work crews pulled open a broken BART escalator at San Francisco's Civic Center Station last month, they found so much human excrement in its works they had to call a hazardous-materials team.

While the sheer volume of human waste was surprising, its presence was not. Once the stations close, the bottom of BART station stairwells in downtown San Francisco are often a prime location for homeless people to camp for the night or find a private place to relieve themselves.

All those biological excretions can gum up the wheels and gears of BART's escalators, shutting them down for long periods of extended repairs, increasing station cleaning costs and creating an unpleasant aroma for morning commuters.

As you might have guessed, there isn't much BART or SFPD can do.  With limited public restrooms for the homeless to access, especially at night, the BART escalators provide one of the few safe places to poo.  And SFPD can only cite someone for letting loose if they witness the act itself—something that they rarely do (and probably don't want to, either).

Save some investment in shit-resistant escalators, this is BART's reality to deal with.

Have a lovely commute home!

[SF Gate]

Awwww shit.

According to the newshounds at the SF Chronicle, 16th and Mission smells like a urinal:

The B in BART doesn't stand for “bathroom,” but it smells like it could at the 16th Street Mission Station.

Commuters wrinkle their noses as they walk across either of the two street-level plazas at 16th and Mission streets, where loiterers have few qualms about using the plazas as an open-air restroom, neighbors and officials say.

“The elevator becomes an easy-access urinal or worse,” said Tony Sustak, a Richmond resident who commutes to the station daily. “The real dregs take a dump in public. They're not discouraged by the crowds passing by.”

…The plazas are power washed nightly, but the washers are often forced to wash around a group of several dozen people who sleep on the plaza, Allison said.

BART retrofitted and redesigned the plazas in 2003 and 2006 to make them more aesthetically pleasing. The hope was the community would take ownership of the plazas and crime would drop. But, after a brief honeymoon period of cleanliness, the old crowd and habits came back, BART board member Tom Radulovich said.

Sustak called the plaza improvements “a waste of money.”

“They just spent $4 million to make a fancier urinal,” he said.

Shocking!

[SFgate]