Mission District

The Freak is Back

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

April is right around the corner, so you know what that means: it's motherfucking baseball-related graffiti season.  As you can see, 24th and Bryant is itchy for Opening Day and has already busted out the fine arts degree, x-acto knife, and wheatpaste.  Presumably, we can look forward to months of “FEAR THE BEARD” scrawled on walls, portraits of Lincecum pasted along Valencia, tribute murals painted on previously blank surfaces, and orange and black everything, leading up to everyone lighting the Mission on fire come November.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Been Digging the Recent Uptick in Fart Graffiti on Valencia

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

For some reason flatulence-related tags are all the rage right now, presumably because the city's Peter Pan complex has finally caught up with our lust for radical self-expression and Dadaist approach to bodily functions.  Regardless, I dig.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Looks Like Someone is Still Trying to Revive La Rondalla

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

We mentioned six months ago that margarita destination/diarrhea factory La Rondalla planned to reopen around Christmas.  Clearly that never happened, but now it looks like the restaurant-who-called-wolf is actually getting serious about openning up their doors for the first time in years.  They've obtained a 3 month permit for reserved street space for renovations and it appears a bunch of work is going on inside:

No word as to when they will actually reopen, but count on it happening some time around the competition of the Bay Bridge Replacement.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

OH, YEAAHH!

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Back when I went to Brandeis (a Jewish college), someone hung posters around campus of Kool-Aid Man smashing through the Israeli apartheid wall West Bank barrier while yelling out “OH, YEAAHH!”  I thought it was the funniest thing in the world.  Most of the other kids on campus did not.

I'm not really sure what the Kool-Aid Man smashing through the chest of a Kiss makeup-wearing Jesus means, other than the fact that he's obviously the new mascot for smashing religion with a distinct strawberry flavor, but I sure do like it.

Six-Lane Bowling Alley Coming to the Mission

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Today Grubstreet smacked down the rumors that Brooklyn Bowl was considering a move to Mission Street, getting word from BB's spokesman that the gossip was fantasy spurred from a conversation with a Mission building owner.  However, just as our dreams of being able to bowl during the Dolores renovations were crushed, Tablehopper brought affirmative news that Mini Bar owners have secured an undisclosed space in the Mission with enough room for a bar, open kitchen, lounge, and six lanes:

[Mini Bar co-owner Sommer Peterson] explains the food concept they’re looking for: “Take the tired and bad-for-you bowling concession-style food and turn it on its head with quality ingredients and healthy options.” The design will be comfortable (no 60s kitsch) with warm furnishings and plush seating at the lanes. There will be a sunny outdoor patio for dining, which will also provide a generous area of covered bike parking. With only six lanes, the owners look forward to being a personal neighborhood business. They hope to launch in early Spring 2012.

Fuck ya!  Someone fill that concession stand with organic deep-fried onion rings and seitan fish and chips!

Tablehopper also has a floor plan for the new bowling alley, so be sure to check that out.

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