There I was, biking down Bryant and minding my own business when BAM, there's some puppy dropping a fresh BM in the middle of the street.  Fearing death and a feces-covered downtube, I jumped up on the sidewalk the quickness, giving the dog plenty of space to do his thing.

The dog's owner, clearly embarrassed by his young pup's bowel control, started mumbling about finding a bag to clean the mess up, when his tallboy-wielding friend started yelling: “You don't need a bag!  It's not on the sidewalk!  The law says you don't have to have to pick up shit on the street!  Let's gooooo.” (It's not the law) The guy looked at his friend, looked at me, looked at his dog, shrugged and was on his way.

Now some poor Scion's wheel well is covered in shit.

(Side note #1: Did I really just fact-check some day-drunk dudes walking a puppy with impatient bowels?)

(Side note #2: What's up with Coors Light being all about the Giants?  Not that it's unprecedented for beer companies to be all about whatever team helps them sell beer, but doesn't Coors have their brand all over some other team?  Mixed messages!)

Speaking of park closures, a few of Mission garage doors have been converted into “NO PARK” pieces over the last few days—one near Shotwell's and this one across from Mission Playground on Valencia.  Perhaps Chicken John is finding new ways to protest the privatization of Dolores Park without losing his questionable grasp of the English language?

Believe it or not, San Francisco is full of funny people.  Most of those people aren't bloggers and are usually forced to travel to North Beach to be funny.  This is clearly unacceptable.

So: GET FUCKING DRUNK AND MEET YOUR LOCAL COMICS NEXT TUESDAY AT THE ROXIE. Our legal department tells us that we cannot advertise that there will be “free beer” at the event, so there won't be any of that, but there will be plenty of complimentary PBR to wet your whistle.  And when the show's all wrapped up, we'll head to Delirium and have ourselves a round.

In summary:
Tuesday, May 10th at 7:30 @ The Roxie [16th and Valencia]
Tickets [$6.50] on sale now.
Afterparty at Delirium.
Laughs provided by:

• Donny Divanian
• Chris Garcia
• Emily Heller
• Sean Keane (Who'll be your host for the evening)
• Alex Koll
• Cory Loykasek
• Lydia Popovich (author of Hater Tuesday)
• Chris Thayer
• Mimi Vilmenay

Also, there's a Facebook event for those of you interested in telling Mark what you're up to.

Someone has covered all the lightposts along Valencia at 16th with a notice that Bombay Bazar and Ice Creamery has reopened on SVN.  Rejoice!

For the unfamiliar, Bombay Ice Creamery was among this blogger's preferred ice cream spots around town, selling dozens of flavors at a time, including birthday cake (which was about as gluttonous as it sounds), saffron rose, and one helluva cookies n' cream.  Plus, you could eat ice cream while reupping your supply of fresh-ish paneer and somosas.  But suddenly last fall they closed up shop, leaving a field of debris where the creamery once stood.  It was rumored that it was closed for health code violations, but the big fat eviction notice lead passersby to speculate that the closure might have occurred for other reasons.

The big question at this point is whether or not they can survive at their new location, as 245 South Van Ness is practically under the 101.  Not exactly the place anyone heads for a cone on a warm day.