Mission District

I found a golden ticket!

 

No, that is not Wall-E. That is motherfucking Johnny Five with some kind of tongue sex-toy, chainsaw arm in Kink Dot Com’s world headquarters in the Armory at Mission and Fourteenth. I got to go on a tour there yesterday with my bosses and a bunch of my coworkers. It was even cooler than I thought it would be. From the creek running beneath it, to the friendly employees, awesome and much-better-looking-than-Gene-Wilder tour guide, crazy homemade sets, and the god damn giant open space where they are going to be hosting public events, I wasn’t really ready to leave. Also, there were some naked chicks and whatnot. Did you know dude that owns Kink.com lives on the top floor? 

Bees Descend Upon 18th and Dolores

Erica says:

The air was filled with thousands of bees and the buzzing was so loud I could hear them from my the apartment. Now they’re building a nest in my backyard. Yippee.

If you’re allergic, you might want to steer clear of Dolores Park over the next few day.  Or don’t.  I’ll just steal your beer when you go into shock and they take you away in an amberlamps.

New Sharrows on 22nd!

I know the photo doesn’t do it justice, but the most beautiful way to be welcomed back to SF is to see an seemingly endless line of orange cones marking of freshly painted sharrows all the way to Potrero.  I might be a little biased in my excitement because I live on the corner of 22nd but hella ya.

Cool kid tip: if you ride in the apex of the sharrow, you’re actually outside of the door-zone.

Update: NIMBY Neighbors Already Hating on Brooklyn's Mission Dolores on Yelp!

Reader Neil points out that “NIMBY neighbors are already on the scene” at the recently opened Dolores Park-inspired bar in Brooklyn:

Wow, what a great bar! Do you know what would make it more awesome? A roof! And sound-proofing!

Seriously, as one of the hundreds of neighbors who won’t be falling asleep until 4AM every night this summer, this place sucks. That room that’s open to the sky that everyone is raving about? All of that noise has to go somewhere, and right now it is bouncing off of all the buildings and going straight into our windows. I can hear EVERYTHING people are saying, even if it’s only 1 or 2 people… the noise is magnified enormously. I can’t even tell you how loud we have to turn up our TV to cover the din. I didn’t move to Park Slope to have to sleep with the windows closed and earplugs in every night.

(link)

Jamie M. is your stereotypical Dolores Park NIMBY.  Looks the part, probably hasn’t gotten “serviced” in 6 months, and her “interests” include “calamari, clams, mussels, oysters, bourbon, wine, sushi” (read: moving to suburbia and shitting out two kids whose father is a sperm bank next fall).

7x7: "Achieving street cred is not the goal of a date" and "We're racists!"

This post about good and bad dates in 7x7's Bits + Bites slipped by me a few weeks ago but definitely deserves a look.

Bad First Dates:

El Farolito + Carlos’ Bar (Mission)

Achieving street cred is not the goal of a date. Burritos and a dive bar? Even a hipster should be ashamed.

I'm not sure a hipster should be ashamed, but the klanswoman that wrote this should be. First off, Farolito is a gift from the Gods themselves but obviously isn't a 7x7 reader's date spot (unless of course your date started at Mission Bar, you got faced and needed something to soak up all the liquor before you 'bump uglies' on your roommate's bed). It's fucking fast food. This choice took just about as much effort as saying “McDonald's and getting stabbed in Garfield Park” would be a bad first date. Even if you don't bleed out, you're probably going to have the shits for a month so, yeah, it's probably a crappy date. But what really gets me is pairing Carlos' to Farolito. To me, this whole choice is just shitting on Latinos. “Burritos and Tecates ewwwww lolroflmadingdongs who would do that?” A brown person you dumb bitch.

(link | photo by Troy Holden)

Local Mission Eatery: Good Art, Good Food!

(View larger image.  I cannot allow you to see the original size because Flickr is too goddamn confusing and I don’t know how to enable it)

A few weeks ago, I got all aggro on Local Mission Eatery, primarily because I thought the name was stupid.  Well, reader Catherine W. sends us a note telling us that they have a pretty rad art wall (pictured above) and a good menu.  Ah shucks:

Saw your post on the new restaurant. You’re definitely right about the seriously bad name and of the over privileged liberal aesthetic of the whole place. However, I just wanted to point out that one cool aspect of the place is going to my friend Jon Fischer’s art. The guy that owns the joint contracted with him to do a permanent installation piece. It’s a series of photos turned screenprints onto wood panels of every intersection from Valencia Street to Vermont Street. You check it out here via his blog.

I haven’t paid for any food there yet, but I did go to their opening party and it was definitely pretty damn delicious. I had whatever veggie sandwich they were making that night (mushroom and some sort of fancy arugula pesto or something of the sort?). It was definitely worth it. Also, the little separate-ish bakery is pretty rad — for the party she had made these little smore-type desserts that had homemade marshmallows with a huge vat of melted chocolate on the side.

I’ll definitely go back. Although since I work from home, they had me at free WiFi.

The art is definitely rad!  Besides, it’s the Mission.  I could literally eat organic grains for a week, take a fat shit on some Tartine and sell it ‘on the street’ for $20 as a “locally-sourced shit sandwich.”  I’m sure this place is already cleaning up.

Thanks Catherine!

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