If you live in the Mission you’ve probably noticed the marvelous sidewalk widening project that’s underway on Valencia between 16th and 18th. At my estimation the sidewalk is about 15 feet wide now which means you can ditch your former single file method and start walking in tandem with your friends. I bet you could get a human chain of at least 5-7 people going uninterrupted. Additionally, you could comfortably rollerblade (this hood is full of avid rollerbladers, didn’t you know?) - with extra wide lunges - or run with your arms outstretched in a zig zag pattern down the sidewalk. This is wicked exciting right? WRONG.
Who is planning this garbage and why am I giving you better ideas for free? Well, here it is, on the house. This project is a complete waste of time. Because of the trees planted next to the road, what we’re really getting is 3-4 feet of extra sidewalk room. OH NEAT. The extra room given is not going to allow restaurants to put tables on the sidewalk. There’s nothing cool that can happen outside. Literally, at best, you can now get around the crowd outside of Casanova on a Friday night without getting pissed off.
This city needs more fucking patios. The sidewalk widening could be great. It could extend all the way across Valencia making it a pedestrian street. A what?! Yes. Shut down Valencia. It’s a shitty street to drive on, it’s a shitty street to walk on and I’ll speculate it’s shitty to bike on too. And if it’s not, shut your pie hole and go bike down Mission Street. Just imagine, tables outside, benches, trees… Places to chill without getting a grass stain on your ass or having some dog eat your burrito. I want a place where I can hang outside and have a drink or a coffee or dinner that’s not fucking Medjool. Let’s make this happen, people.