Mission District

Another Interactive Map of San Francisco

Curbed SF hips us to a new interactive map from the planning commission, detailing a brief history of classic south Mission properties.  Pretty neat stuff: for example, I just learned that my apartment is in a proposed historical district, which means I probably clean up all the puke on my walls.  Also, I know a number of people who live in these districts (marketed by red lines) and it suffices to say that their buildings are epic pieces of crap.  Maybe I'm missing the point.

(link)

Ninja Stars: An Ineffective Zombie Deterrent

IT COULD HAPPEN HERE!

Today, the City will hold a hearing where pro-zombie hoards will undoubtedly attempt to strip High Bridge Arms, a Mission St gun shop, of their permit.  As someone with a morbid fear of the zombie apocalypse, I stand firmly against the closing of High Bridge Arms, the City's one and only legal purveyor of firearms.  

When the armies of the dead start their long march from Colma to San Francisco, we need High Bridge's cache of firearms on hand for looting. Without them, we'd be left with only novelty swords and ninja stars looted from Chinatown tourist traps.  This is just poor city planning.  Hopefully 'Gun Tottin Gavin' will step in and initiate a new Zombie Preparedness Initiative with TWELVE GAUGES FOR ALL YALLS.  

PROTIP:  Don't loot a gun store unless you're sure the owners have either fled or been zombie-fied.  Looting gun shops with living owners will result in your ass getting shot off and handed to you, and then re-animating moments later as an ass-less zombie. You n00b. 

CHINATOWN IS DOOMED!!!

Drinking Eggs in the Outter Mission

This is one fine video: two Bay Citizen reporters set out to discover if drinking cocktails with egg whites will kill you.  After an ex-egg-farm worker goes on about how disgusting egg farms are, they hesitantly dive in anyway all while fearing for their life.  Bonus points for sharing your drink with strangers at the bar, as that is clearly a much healthier practice than drinking raw egg.  (link)

HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER BOWL: Toad & Salmon's Chili Bowl Recap

If you like skateboarding, the Top Gun soundtrack, and some random 5 second video of a cute dog taken with a wide-angle lens, well, holy shit, this post was made for you.

We made it out to Toad & Salmon's 6th Annual Chili Bowl at Potrero del Sol and it was, per usual, a solid time.  While it didn't feature the blood geysers and beer balloons of years past, it was packed with quality skateboarding, tallcans, chili, excitement on Heckle Hill, and cursing from the announcers.  Unfortunately, we won't be able to put together a good video of the action until early next week (be sure to come back and visit), but in the meantime, you can wet your appetite with this lazy video of the footage I took on the crappy camera or check out the photos I posted to flickr:

Also, here's a rad snap of Evelyn Abad fucking up the women's division:

 

Cool Kid Fashion: PETA Hoodie

If just last week you had told me I'd be seeing some skateboard industry dirtbag rocking a PETA hoodie at a competition at Potrero del Sol, I would have laughed at you and bet you I'd start eating meat again if the sight was seen.  Well, what the fuck, four dancing bunnies spotted within feet of Potrero's bowl.  Does this mean it's cool to wear your veganism on for back or is PETA the apex of hooded irony?

If you do anything this weekend, DO THIS.

For those of you who care, sorry I haven't posted here in a dog's age. I got kind of caught up with the whole moving-to-Oakland-and-starting-at-a-new-school thing, and I've also kind of been on a monthlong Four Loko bender. It's truly the devil's juice. Anyway though, this (sure to be awesome) skate video is showing at the Victoria Theatre on 16th & Capp on Sunday night at 7:30. 

I think everyone should go. Even if you don't care about skateboarding, you should go anyway because some of the guys in it are cute. 

And if you're still unconvinced because you don't care about skateboarding OR cute boys, then … um, what's wrong with you? One man, five syllables: Kevin “Spanky” Long. Swooooon.

Gentrification

Is Oakland Stealing the Mission's Scene?

Are historically all-black bars turning into hipster dives a sign that Oakland is ‘fucking over’?

Are historically all-black bars turning into hipster dives a sign that Oakland is ‘fucking over’?

The good olde days of 1999 are long gone, Chris Daly’s war on Mission gentrification is over—“La Mission” lost and the gentrifying forces of decades past are moving back—and the neighborhood’s transition towards Noe Valley is cemented (hell, realtors are already carving up the neighborhood).  With rising rents, a fleeing art scene and neighborhood concerns shifting towards public drinking, the same types of bleeding-edge cool that made the Mission accessible in the late-80s/early-90s are packing up their bags and settling in all parts of Oakland (this very blog has lost two contributors to Oakland in recent months).  Well, according to THE OAKBOOK, Oakland is now experiencing the same gentrification woes that the Mission experienced during the dot-com boom:

[Moving into West Oakland is] a trend that started earlier in parts of North Oakland - young white families or singles moving into neighborhoods that had been predominately black or Latino. Gentrification is usually derided by people who are concerned the old residents are being pushed out of their neighborhoods. The fact that parts of West Oakland are being transformed is particularly striking because the area has been the heart and soul of Oakland’s African American community, historically and culturally.

It also speaks to a citywide trend - the dramatically decreasing African American population. From its peak as 47 percent of the population in 1980, the proportion has dropped to 29.8 percent, according to the U.S. Census American Community Survey in 2006 -08. Between 2000 and 2008, 34,000 African Americans left the city, the largest exodus in Oakland’s history. It would seem that Oakland’s days as a predominately black city, with the attendant influence on politics and culture, are numbered.

That’s right, young white people, in search of cheaper rents, better street art and music (I mean, Third Eye Blind vs. E-40 COMEON), are throwing their hands up in the air and moving across the Bay.  What does this mean for Oakland and it’s African-American population?  Well, OAKBOOK is putting together a multi-part series on exactly that, but you’re going to have to wait for it (hint: it doesn’t look good).  In the meantime, what’s happening to the Mission?  With the cost of living in the Mission going up and the quality of weekends in the neighborhood plummeting (remember the days, like, in 2008, when the bars were not fucking packed all the time?), it’s no surprise that there are more fixies in the Richmond and more rocking house parties in West Oakland.  Is the Mission a sinking ship (with Dolores Park being our life raft)?

(photo of the Heart and Dagger Saloon beer garden by Paula Wirth)

The Legitimate, Authentic, REAL Street Food Festival

While strolling down Folsom to the mainstream Street Food Festival on Saturday, I was hipped to the cooler, undiscovered street food festival going down on the corner of 23rd.  Just a giant heap o' chicken marinating in Sriracha and urine.  The Yamo to your Osha.  A scene still untainted by government fees, politicians, Michael Bauer, baby strollers and Foursquare.  More authentic than shelling out $7 bucks for the privilege of eating Delfina near Garfield Park, I hope it stays true to its roots next year.

San Franciscans Really Step Up The Quality of Bitchy Notes

I'm in love with everything about this obscenely bitchy note about a dog pooping on the sidewalk: the red text shadowing on the title, the yellow matting, the threat of legal recourse for continued pooping, the suggestion to give the dog away, and wrapped up with a friendly “Thx!”

I can only imagine the exciting horror it must be to have sex with this person.

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