It's been only a few weeks since a massive fire tore through a Valencia Street building, displacing dozens of residents, and the disaster is already being perverted for political purposes. How? By a disinformation campaign by the SF Firefighters and Recology (the city's trash-collection provider) to protect the company's 70-year-old government-granted monopoly status by painting the ballot measure as an assault on our recycling and composting laws. How darling.
Have you seen this guy Chicken John about? Like who is he, and what is he on about? Guess I could read his book but I think that it looks like just one more thing for me to yawn about
Though I hear, now that he’s a nice manderslice to my liking, his jamz cease to panderslice sure, he may be chill but not fitting my bill for I’ve had quite enough of John Vanderslice
Though I’d never call this girl a wus she sure isn’t the brightest of us but despite my roll-eyeing there’s just no denying Kelly Kate sure did pee *on that bus *out the window of *is this how one uses asterisks?
Michael Krasny hosts this talk show Forum but I’d much rather have him for Purim he is worldly and wise I just simply despise he’s yet to return my fan mail for ‘im
Julie Schuchard of Trike Records fame kicked me out of a bar, that was lame well I may have been twenty and drinking a plenty but I think she’s the worst all the same
One time she did something retarded my enjoyment of that was wholehearted she peed out the bus window nothing rhymes with window this limerick is also about Kelly Kate and it ends with the word farted
Dude, have you guys ever been to Blow Up? No, I’m good off seeing ‘burbs kids throw up Jeffrey Paradise, dear I think it’s pretty clear that the end of your limerick is grow up
Though his father is Phil of Philz Coffee-a Jacob looks like a dude in the mafia he’s the dudeliest guy but we all wonder why he allows employees to blast Ska-fia
Save KUSF is unhealthy why fundraise? Your school is so wealthy! Just buy a new station and stop this complai’tion we’re starting to think you guys smell-thy
Why did all the Kennedys die? Just ask Jello, I’m sure he knows why but this guy shows up at events and I have to listen to him rant on about how he hates Gavin Newsom and shit seriously shut up Jello Biafra
Disclaimer: none of these people are actually that bad, except for all the aforementioned people whose names begin with J who aren’t John Vanderslice. Just to clarify, shut up Jello Biafra.
Weston Wear isn't just going to be closed down for a week following the May Day Riots. No, The City felt it necessary to deliver one last “fuck you” to a business ransacked by savages by citing them for graffiti on their boarded up windows:
THIS IS WHY PEOPLE ARE SMASHING GENTRIFIED STORE FRONTS ON VALENCIA.
Sorry, give me a moment to calm down.
So, Uber's team of marketing eyerolls dreamed up the brilliant idea of shuttling around an “instant fiesta” in “three SUVs” (why not Ford Fiestas?) on May 4th for the low-low price of $100. Oh yes. For the cost of two ostentatious joyrides, Uber will delight crowds of dreamy Zynga employees with one mariachi song…whicchh strikes me as just a tad tasteless. There's a line Mission 'transplants' dare not cross, and they're crossing it. Sure, it's one thing to evict the Latino community and take their homes, but overtly exploiting them for a marketing lulz? That's just poor form.
As I'm sure you've already heard (if you haven't, Mission Local has some solid reporting on it, as does Mission Mission), the Mission District unfortunately had its Foot Locker Moment last night as an innocent Occupy May Day rally in Dolores Park devolved into a riot along Valencia Street. But as Scott Rossi (who seems to have been one of the few sane people in the mob) reports, the riot was not Occupy-related, but a “hijacking” done by mysterious clean-cut kids:
I believe we [the Occupy protests] were hijacked and it was an utter clusterfuck. It started out as sort of a “pep rally” type thing at Dolores Park, but maybe 20 minutes after we got there, it turned into a march. I tweeted “LOL looks it turned into a surprise anticapitalist march. #osf #oo #ows #dolorespark”. although i frown on the tactic of spraypainting and paintbombing, it was a bit funny to see the normally sneering people outside some of the boojie restaurants in 18th street get a little taste of their own class warfare. that said, what happened once the march reached Valencia was a) the fastest i’ve ever seen a march fall apart in my life and b) the largest concentration of simultaneous D: faces i have ever seen in my life. This is where I disengaged from the march, advised people I was pulling out and they were on their own, and told some people who were distracted or otherwise slow on the uptake that the march was entering ‘smashy smashy land.”
So, rather than describe what happened (since 340958345 other blogs and news agencies will do just that), I think it is more important to point out who did this. But as I’m about to explain to you, I don’t know that I can do that. You see, I don’t know who, the people I’ll dub as the ‘ringleaders’ of the march were exactly. Nobody did. Yeah some of the aggro people we always have to deal with were there, but these guys weren’t it. You remember those asshole jock bullies in high school? Well that was who was leading the march tonight. Clean cut, athletic, commanding, gravitas not borne of charisma but of testosterone and intimidation. They were decked out in outfits typically attributed to those in the ‘black bloc’ spectrum of tactics, yet their clothes were too new, and something was just off about them. They were very combative and nearly physically violent with the livestreamers on site, and got ignorant with me, a medic, when I intervened and reminded them that I was there to fix them from police violence, not protester on protester violence. […]
The other thing that bothered me is the level of destruction and the targets. This was all Bay of Rage Indybay organized, from what I gather, but it was all wrong. Black Bloc goes after state or corporate property not that of the working class and poor. I disapprove of that behavior, as it is not something I would personally engage in, however, this was off. This wasn’t directed against corporations or big banks, with the exception of one single ATM I saw smashed. This was specifically directed against mom and pop shops, local boutiques and businesses, and cars. Lots and lots of cars. I won’t weep for the hipster dives or the WASP nests for nouveau riche white trash, but the working class, poor and immigrant owned places I will. At first it was a few luxury cars, but as I followed the march down Valencia from a distance, it was all types of cars. There was a little girl crying and her mom was holding her and telling some onlookers that people smashed their car windows right in front of them as they were walking to it. She’s always going to remember the ‘mean people’ smashing. Everyone everywhere was really upset and blaming Occupy.
We’ve spent months radicalizing and empowering the Mission, working with and learning from groups who have already been here for decades, trying to use our momentum, enthusiasm and appeal to energize moribound organizations and skittish and apathetic people. We’ve been encouraging people to feel empowered to organize themselves, to get unions for day laborers, to march for and bring attention to our terrible immigration practices, hell the list goes on and on. It’s just convenient that these so called ‘protesters’ acted in such a way to undermine and burn all those bridges we’ve been so carefully building. The destruction was too calculated and precise in it’s seeming randomness to be Black Bloc or even those fucking suburban scumbags who get an anarchist patch at Hot Topic and think that gives them license to come to Oakland or SF and burn shit down. [Read On]
Scott has some theories on who might have been behind this (potentially classified as “crazy conspiracy theories,” but you never know in this crazy world). But no matter who was responsible (and I'm going to be horribly articulate here), this just plain sucks.
Now, the clean-up begins:
[Photos by Justin Beck and Ert O'hara (who also noted her apartment was smashed to hell despite screaming at the mob to stop)]
In 2006, I watched a charming, somewhat 50’s-inspired young indie band play at what was then the Balazo Gallery on Mission. I bought an EP of theirs called Loose Change. The EP featured six short and sweet, excellently crafted pop songs and I came to love it for its simple elegance and likability. There was no “getting it” involved in the appreciation of these songs, they were just good.
That band was called The Morning Benders. Over the years, I enjoyed reading pieces about them every now and again and took pleasure in knowing that they were doing okay for themselves out in the world. In 2010 they released a much huger sounding and very produced record called Big Echo, which was also good and, despite the sonic maturing, it still had the same simple “songy” charm I enjoyed with their first EP.
Whatever, they were a band, I thought they were good. Cool? This is what they sounded like.
OK. Some of you may remember that at the end of March, The Morning Benders released a statement that they were changing their name because “Bender” means “GAY PERSON” in Europe and so they simply had to change their name to POP ETC (which they did) to protect gay people in Europe from being called gay. Or something. Really high-minded and forward thinking, The Morning Benders. Thanks for saving gay people!
So anyway, these kids changed a whole lot more than their band name. Rather than explain, I’ll just let you guys go ahead and take a gander at the video they just released:
Uh…. Cool, guys. Really cool.
So just off the bat, here are my thoughts.
1. This band totally made a big stink about “we’re changing our name out of respect for the gay community” when it was obviously just to promote their new, completely unrelated white (sorry, asian?) kid smooth RnB jam project.
2. Nice tank top.
3. It’s hard for me not to feel like this dude didn’t just start making electronic music because it’s super “in”. This could just be because I really like guitars and stuff, but I feel like this music sounds really phony, joyless, uninspired, not super well-constructed, and contrived.
I’m not saying artists shouldn’t branch out and try new things, but putting out boring smooth jamz about “living it up” seems to me like a cop-out. Also, rock n roll is an important American art form that I don’t want to see die in favor of writhing pretty-boys in tank tops. Like, dude are you wearing lipgloss?
Some parents have said they are concerned that the recently opened Helen Diller playground in Dolores Park lacks a fence to keep out dogs, which can scare, chase or hurt their children.
Andre Kellerman, a neighbor who lives opposite the park, said she recently saw a pit bull wandering in the playground.
“It was just running aimlessly through the playground and it knocked down a toddler as it went though,” she said […]
Jana Thompson, another neighbor living close to Dolores Park, also saw the incident. To her, it feels as though “dogs have taken precedence over kids” in Dolores Park. Several neighbors have written to both the San Francisco Recreation and Park Department and district Supervisor Scott Wiener.
Ugh. UGH. UUUGGGGHHHHHHH.
To Scott Wiener's credit, he thinks the people crying for a border fence are 'fucking dumb' (or, to quote, “The playground, he said, is 'an asset to the park,' and 'radically changing its design' would be inappropriate.”) However, Dolores Park's manager wants to “keep the option to put up a fence” and quasi-community organization Dolores Park Works thinks a small fence “may be a good idea.”
And, sure, the fence “may be a good idea,” but it would cost money and divide the park and make throwing big events more difficult and generally suck. Instead, why not enact a city ordinance mandating that parents leash their children so our beloved pups can run around without fear of bumping into some unattended biped?
So vote for me this November 6th. For the unleashed children.
What remains to be seen is if muralists will persist in painting despite the unrelenting destruction of their works. The pair of artists interviewed last fall in Clarion Alley stated they had enough and were moving on from Clarion's once sought-after alley walls. Is the age of murals of graffiti prevention done, to be replaced with horribly boring-yet-effective treasure map-esque lines? We can only hope not.