Just kidding. My life is already ruined, but…
Is anybody else as sick of the future as I am? It’s hard to feel like things haven’t gotten out of control. Or, wait. It’s hard not to feel like things have gotten out of control. Uh. I feel like things are out of control. What I’m trying to say is that a while back I accepted, if a little begrudgingly, the notion of “chillwave” into my awareness fine, but Seapunk? No way. Seapunk, dear friends, is where I draw the line.
If you don’t know what Seapunk is, congratulations: we’re sort of in the same boat. ZING! I’ll fill you in on what little I know about this movement. So like kids dye their hair light blue and listen to 90s inspired electronic music. Nautical accessories are a must and being from Chicago is a plus, but I have absolutely know idea why. The whole thing is a lot like steampunk I think, but blueish. Ah, here’s one now…
Hate to admit it, but this chick seems pretty hard not to like. Note the blue hair.
Oh, here’s a Seapunk that’s a little trickier to wrap your head around:
So right off the bat, are we using 90’s rave lingo again? PLUR? What does that mean again? Peace Love Uuuuh, Roofies? Something like that. As for the shell, I can only assume that this is what merboys use for manpurses.
I have a sneaking suspicion the whole point of these kids existing is so that they can take pictures of how nutso they look and to put them up on the internetz so that people like me can be all “Whaaa??? What are you even doing???”
The thing that kills me is that I’m basically dying of jealousy that these people have the space in their lives to die their hair blue and get neck tattoos. I’d do anything to have that kind of time and energy. But no, I just get to sit here at home scratching my head while I look at goofy pictures of these kids and ask myself over and over again; how can it be that they are so fucking cool???