Happy "Hipster Thursday" guys!

This happened.

Excuse me while I shiver alone in the dark and process this for awhile…

The following screenshots are taken directly from the email that I, and undoubtedly the entire Mission has now received from Uber, a towncar taxi service that uses an iPhone dispatching app. The content was not edited in any way. They really wrote this and distributed it, probably with the belief that it was a good idea.  The entire writing staff of Uptown could spend an entire weekend addressing this, line by line.  Every sentence warrants commentary and satire. But of course I, like everyone else, was so completely and utterly shocked that I just had to post it in its entirety and inadvertently aid in their marketing…  

Maybe they thought they were being ironic. But if their goal was to appeal to 'MIssion hipsters' through irony, they failed.  The whole thing just shows a complete lack of understanding of the demographic's sensibilities. All 'ZOMG they dont kno whut a hipstar is!' nonsense aside, this is still only $5 off of a ride that they would charge you about $45 for. No iPhone dispatch app is worth that. Just get a cab.

(Thanks UberCab, way to jump the shark)

Comments (37)

Yeah, I’ve been trying to locate all of these photos for the past few minutes and who took them. Some I recognize before. You can’t just steal photos without crediting (assuming they’re not marked all rights reserved)

Hmm, actually not a bad deal when you’re way up in china town rocking it at lipo or something. How much do these things cost?

It’s a towncar, they’re in the range of $30-50, plus tip. Did you even read the post?

Sorry, that’s incorrect.

Our min is $15, and the Avg ride is $25 instead of the Avg taxi ride of about $17 in SF.

They actually don’t allow you to tip – it’s included in the cost of the ride.

Dude, I can tell you just don’t get it. You clearly don’t have enough hipster XP to be at the ultimate level of hipster at which just being a hipster is ironic. Noob. I’m embarrassed for you.

Whatever happened to the weed truffle guy?! I haven’t seen him in like a year and a half so I assume he’s in jail or something. Does Uber have the hot tip on that guy and his magical golden cauldrons? I mean, I NEVER EVER do pot, of course, but I’m concerned for his wellbeing.

I see no problem with any part of this email, but I understand that seeing your precious secret lifestyle commodified is really irritating.

The truffle guy is alive and well (at least, as of October).

And yes, this is marketing campaign is clearly attempting to be satire, although it’s not a good attempt at it. “ZOMG PBR AND FIXIES LOL” might have been considered funny in 2006, but it isn’t anymore. Instead, this reads more like a marketing company that just doesn’t get it. It’s just a travel guide for idiots who never have heard of Dolores Park.

As one person commented over email, “I’m just waiting for someone at Zeitgeist to punch in the face the first douchebag who arrives in a Town Car.”

Yea but still, if someone offered me a ride from Zeitgeist to Pancho Villa in a Town Car, I wouldnt say no. Instead I’d be like, fuck yes, lets go get some bland burritos.

I would say more but I was riding my ‘fixxee’ down ‘Valencia’ to get a ‘Tecate’ and reading this on my ‘Iphone’. My disconsolate weeping caused me to fall off in front of ‘Ritual’ and tear my ‘Cheap Monday’ jeans. Now I will need to be transported to ‘St. Luke’s’ and will miss my friend’s ‘indie-folk’ band playing a ‘secret show’ at ‘Viraconda’.

Don’t cry for me Valencia corridor. Truth is I never left you.

Glad you picked up on the humor ;)

Just FYI to all the readers, the Avg trip with Uber is less than $25, not the $30-$50 that is being blindly stated here.

With that said, good call on the photo’s. I’ll pull some credits & attributions today.

Thanks for the coverage Zack!

Also, we do have a minimum trip of $15….on Thursday nights that would be $10. Enjoy your PBR’s….or Tecate’s on Uber.

Ryan from Uber, is that you in the picture up there? Call me!

Alissa,

That dude is a fool, you should call me instead.

I can only wish I was that rad…
I’ve got the PBR, but don’t come close on the beard & sweater

Alissa, Ryan’s married… happy to sport you an uber ride from Zeitgeist to Pancho Villa anytime :)

Oh shit, Alissa just got hit on by a cab, sorry I mean “town car”, driver!! I’m sure she’s blushing right now while riding her fixie to her favorite PBR dispensary.

Is inappropriately trying to pick up on customer also part of Uber’s marketing strategy? If so, kudos as hipsters love sex (in case you didn’t know).

Someone needs to run over the faggot thats pictured in his deer sweater and shitty ass beard.

sorry to burst your uber cool bubble but flannel was way fucking cool 30 years ago in the Castro, when the clone look was all the rage for us gay boys.

besides, your fixies are stupid and who the hell drinks Pabst blue ribbon? cheap ass hipster.

You know who else wears wool sweaters, has dogs, and follows each other around? Sheep.

Think about it. Sheep are hipsters.

great comment. love it. hipsters as sheep is a perfect metaphor. ever see how they line up like sheep at Ikes for those overpriced sandwiches or the insane lines at bi-rite creamery for an overpriced icecream?

sheep.

do you think that marina bros will come over in droves via towncars for “hipster themed” party nights?

Isn’t that what the most of the bars in the Mission are on Friday and Saturday nights? I just wish the frat-trash would please stop puking on the sidewalk by house/bar/breakfast place.

The mission on the weekend is for tourists and bros. I stopped going.

there is no movie called “TWO”. the roxie is advertising for two different movies. i think they’re “lost in america” and “modern romance” but i don’t have their calendar handy.

sheesh.

This should be listed in the guide on how to NOT promote your business.
When people from the neighborhood can’t even figure out if it’s satire or not then it was probably poorly written.

On the other hand:

All press is good press… not always true, but applies pretty well for a startup.

- Mike

Sad, misguided marketing attempt. And yes, it would be pathetic if not for the fact that they’ve got the stereotype of all you beard-wearing, PBR drinking, fixie-riding shmucks in this town DOWN PAT. You are all the NEW DOUCHEBAGS, hipsters!!!!

this high life drinking clean shaven single speed ridin’ hipster is left unimpressed with your logic. sheesh

i agree with both dicky and SFLaysBoys.. the mission hipsters decry the homogeneity of the marina “frat trash” (ok, also the immaturity) yet all wear the same shit between themselves! why should the hipsters maintain the more-creative-than-thou attitude when all it takes to be one are a pair of manorexic jeans, a deceptagons t shirt, and some fucking glasses you borrowed from your coke-bottled cousin ray ray? i dont really get why a sweet marina rugby is any worse looking than a sweater with some wolves howling at the moon. or a totally sick nantucket whale belt is worse than your goddamn nautical star tatoos. they are both fucking atrocious.

and PBR is piss. is you are going to drink beer, dont be a fucking phony.

I’m impressed! You’ve managed the almost ipmiossble.

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