Announcing My Candidacy for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors

David Campos has been the Supervisor for the Mission, Bernal Heights, and Portola since 2008.  Yet, in spite of his thoroughly underwhelming track record, there is not a single candidate running in opposition to him this fall.

So show that you give a shit and join in my effort to take down Campos.

Comments (58)

Man, 11PM? You just barely got it in under the April Fool’s Day wire, KevMo.


+1. Campos sucks.

If this is truly serious, you might have trouble courting the hispanic vote. se habla?

The Cain ripoff at the end was better than the “look, I eat burritos and hang out in Dolores Park too!” panders.

Joke or not, he makes a good point. Campos won’t even speak to people unless they agree with him 100% and he doesn’t understand many issues at City Hall. All he cares about is running for legislator in 2014-and in the process willgive Rose and Willie another board seat. KEVMO 2012!!!!

why were you in precita park without talking to us

Can I get an amen!

So Squinty. Also, I live in District 9?






This is adorable.!!

I can’t wait to view the clip AND hear it at the same time (I’m at work - ugh).

SF needs a young, squinty, Supervisor with a muffintop and one shirt in his closet!!

You will need to compete with Campos on the gay latino demographic…

One minor addition (although it might detract from your message to most SFers): it might have been cool if you stopped to take a dump in that alley after eating the burrito.

I’m posting this EVERYWHERE.

Run, Kevin, run!!

Seriously? After the taping the burritos to your hands thing, HA!

Oh my god! You can talk???

If serious, I could get behind it, but the tone of the piece was hard to read - ironic smirking? Or actual shit-giving? April 1 suggests the former, I suppose.

If you do go forward, you need to work on your non-verbal communication. “What should I do with my hands?” is a question you’ll need to resolve soon.

+1 for considering it as a “maaaaaaybe serious”.

I hope this isn’t an April Fools day joke, you should really run. I’m looking forward to some epic drunken fundraisers.

Is this for reals?? I’m thinking not but it should be. You’re very articulate, invested in the neighborhood and you’ve got good ideas. Plus you’re much hotter than David Campos. Maybe a speedo debate?? That would be fucking awesome.

so filled with win. Kevin this is great! If I still lived in District 9, I’d totally vote for you. If only for the Herman Cain creepy smile at the end.

Have the new district boundaries been decided?

Preliminary maps show portions of District 8 located west of Valencia moving to 9. This could have a big impact on the election.

They have to be finished by April 15th. There’s a draft you can see at the City’s website, but the people in Portola are forming a last minute blitz to stay in one particular district, which will change all the others. Beyond Chron has a piece about that.

I really, really want this to not be a joke. Run Kevin run!

Nice ripoff of Jello Biafra’s “utterly creepy way in which Jello nods to the crowd at the end”, dude.…

newsflash: the yuppies he was referring to who’ve ruined SF include the likes of you.

I notice your “crew” hanging out on the blanket in Dolores Park is all-white, too. So much for embracing the cultural diversity of SF. I guess eating “ethnic” food is OK by you, but having “ethnic” friends is too scary!

Biafra ran for Mayor of SF back in 1979. He did it with style, originality, and sublimely sardonic humor and wit.
Too bad you can’t say the same about your flaccid run for a seat on the Board of Stupidvisors.

“In the autumn of 1979, Biafra ran for mayor of San Francisco, using the Jell-O ad campaign catchphrase, “There’s always room for Jello”, as his campaign slogan…As he campaigned, Biafra wore campaign T-shirts from his opponent Quentin Kopp’s previous campaign and at one point vacuumed leaves off the front lawn of another opponent, current U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein, to mock her publicity stunt of sweeping streets in downtown San Francisco for a few hours. He also made a whistlestop campaign tour along the BART line….His platform included unconventional points such as forcing businessmen to wear clown suits within city limits, erecting statues of Dan White (who assassinated Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor Harvey Milk in 1978) all over town and allowing the parks department to sell eggs and tomatoes with which people could pelt them, hiring out of job workers, due to a tax initiative, to become pan handlers in wealthy neighborhoods(one being where Diannne Feinstein lives), and a citywide ban on cars (although the latter point was not considered completely outlandish by many voters at the time, as the city was suffering from serious pollution). Biafra has expressed irritation that these parts of his platform attained such notoriety, preferring instead to be remembered for serious proposals such as legalizing squatting in vacant, tax-delinquent buildings and requiring police officers to keep their jobs by running for election voted by the people of the neighborhoods they patrol.
He finished fourth out of a field of ten, receiving 3.79% of the vote (6,591 votes); the election ended in a runoff that did not involve him (Feinstein was declared the winner).”

Jello, please calm down. We know it’s you, okay? You’re not fooling anyone. Your hot tub party the other night was sparsely attended, true, but this is no reason to be bitter or lash out.

Run Kevin, Run!

“You know what this obvious April Fools Day gag needs? Twenty lines of irrelevant bullshit about Jello Biafra and a really weak swipe at yuppies and hipsters!”

Thank you for being here. Next time, check your calendar.

i’ve given kevnomo shit before, so whether was an april kook’s day spoof or not is a moot point.

he sucks ass any day of the week, any month of the year.

you do too, loser.

For the love of all that is good, please go suck your own pit of your ass and lick it clean because that’s the best you get at reproducing as you are an asexual being in a multisexual body you god damned freak of nature that no one cares about and we all hope dies a horrible death in some woman’s mouth as you’re doused with hot sauce and swallowed whole because you’re just a hollow piece of crap!!!

I wish someone would run against Scott Weiner. That guy only cares about big corporations (hint: AT&T, big businesses) and the police state.


I sincerely hope you recognize the irony of complaining about Weiner’s vote on the AT&T thing in the context of the above video.

But he’s really good at looking longingly into constituents eyes heading home on Muni. Or maybe he’s just into me.

Kevin, you have such an effeminate voice. sissy.

And you are very manly hiding behind a name I am hiding behind.

This video is amazing!! If I lived in District 9, I would totally vote for you. Although I live in the marina. I am going to watch the video one more time, and try not to laugh out loud at my desk too much!!!

I really like David Campos. Definitely sticking with him, but thanks.

muffin top ftw.

Even if this is not real, lets just write in Kevmo anyway……

and is it just me,or does he sound a lot like P.Allen Smith,that gardener guy from the weather channel?

Kevin, I’m not even going to question this as serious. Of course it is, regardless of your intention. I think you know what you’re doing. Love it. Keep it up. <3 <3 <3

KevMo created start mass hysteria in our district by leading people to believe that Dolores park was going to be shut down. That’s the kinda of reporting “Fox News” would do so it’s hard to have faith in what he’s saying, even though the video is pretty awesome. Sorry KevMo, maybe I’m just more of a cynic then you. :)…

Yawn….yet another pilgrim carpetbagger pledging to fix San Francisco.

yo DoucheMo

yer weak.


Didn’t get your fill with the PunxZine news flash, StillLameAndFullofWeakSauce?

i notice you & pal kevschmoe censored your little diatribe where you were picking apart my response, line-for-line.
guess you figured you’d embarrassed yourself enough, and thought better to let the rest of this shitrag’s readership see what you’d written.

bad form, goebbels.
censoring what you fear others will see about yourself.
no balls.

—- golfclap —-

p.s. hey jvis- how many shows did you see at the vis before it was the kennel club, before it was the independent? oh that’s right, none. because you were too busy shitting your pampers, then. respect the people who paved the path you now so arrogantly tread upon. you don’t know shit about punk, what’s cool, or what the real san francisco is all about. you’re an uninspired joke.

you wish biafra would grace this pisspage of yours.

dream on, poser.

Didn’t punk die like 20 years ago?

I have no problem with what I said, It was really only embarrassing for you considering how wrong and retarded you sound about uh…. everything. UA tends to keep a “Don’t engage in the ‘dance of the tards’ with the self important haight street gnargles” policy though. So my bad for doing anything other than throwing quarters in your cup while you “spange” out front of the McDonalds with your herpes ridden dog.

I don’t know you but I’ll vote for ANYONE (including you) except David Campos!!!!

It’s a pity this was a (cute) joke: Campos very definitely deserves a serious challenge. Caving into the tinfoil-hatters on the Clearwire deal was easily the single most craven act by Supervisor in the last few years.


A competitive race would be good for the district. It is surprising that a competent alternative hasn’t declared their candidacy (no offense to kevmo). Perhaps they are waiting for the district boundaries to be finalized.

He’s got good K-9s!

Great job tucking in your shirt and rolling up your sleeves. This seems official.

As a resident of your district (south slope of Bernal Heights), I nominate myself to be your campaign photographer. Srsly.

Those buttons deserve a shout-out for keeping that shirt together and not pinging the videographer.

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