Haight

The Lower Haight Sure Has Some Bizarre Heroes

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I once was having myself a tea in Philz and overheard a social media professional declare “I like MySpace because it hasn't been gentrified yet.”  After I cleaned up the vomit and tears on my face, I actually thought about what that idiot said and it made a whole lot of sense.  MySpace's slogan is “a place for friends” and I'm fairly certain Facebook's is “I have autism.”  MySpace is where you discover grimy punk rock from Oklahoma and Facebook is where your aunt uses four exclamation points to help describe how cute one of her seventeen cats is.  Like the rest of us, MySpace showed a bunch of promise while it was young but never went anywhere.  It's the underdog in life; how could you not kinda like it?

So there I was outside of Three Twins the other day, stuffing my face with Lemon Cookie ice cream (which, btdubs, tastes insane) when I saw this Google tag smack on the sidewalk.  I couldn't help but recall that afternoon in Philz and MySpace.  Is repping Google really what people want to be known for?  Why not throw support behind someone a little less fortunate?  Poor Billy G. could use a win one of these days, even if that win comes in the form of a Bing tag outside of an organic ice cream shop.  Plus, Bill Gates is the Bono of technology—namely, everyone hates what he's selling but kinda respects him for helping charities.  On the flip, Google just whores out your privacy and makes products you actually want to use.

So, Lower Haighters, next time you have the urge to pick up a rattle can and rep a search engine, why not show Bing a little love?  Do it for MySpace.  Do it for the underdog.  Do it for poor Billy G.

Street Artist Protests Unnecessary Museum Exhibits

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

An anonymous reader sent us this snap of the Banksy-parodying piece on Divis and Oak:

I was walking by yesterday and saw this stencil made by Eddie (streetartist? Im not from here so I dont really have my streetart culture up to date).. anyways, the bartender from the winebar this advertisement is attached to, Vinyl, on Divisadero St and Oak st told me it was in response to some street art exhibit at the MOCA.

I figured I'd pass along the news to you guys. I thought it was pretty cool.

Definitely cool.  I hate museums!

NYT: The Sit/Lie Campaign Has Damaged Haight Street Commerce

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

The New York Times reported last week that Sit/Lie, which was marketed as a measure to clean up Haight St. and improve business, has actually harmed Haight commerce:

The antivagrancy measure, which passed with 53 percent of the vote in November, has yet to be enforced in a significant way. The police began issuing citations only last month.

But the Haight has already felt the impact. Many believe that months of relentless, negative news coverage that painted the neighborhood as a war zone where gangs of young street thugs preyed on innocent pedestrians was a public relations debacle.

“The publicity definitely hurt us,” said Jimmy Siegel, owner of Distractions, a Victorian steampunk clothing and head shop, which has operated on Haight Street for 35 years. “My business went down $100,000 last year.”

Read on.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

This is What Happens When 'Bloggers'/Failed Musical Theatre Kids from Michigan Invade Your Coastal City

— By Jenny Wilson |

When Broadway kids Andrew Keenan-Bolger and Dani Spieler won some Lonely Planet contest, they were asked to create a travel video documenting their trip to San Francisco.  After watching this gem about 5 times I can attest that these musical theatre kids have a seriously distroted view of what a video with a “campy twist” means, what comedy is all about, and how to act in a production outside of “Perez Hilton Saves the Universe.”  I mean, isn't musical theatre the definition of campy? Hey musical kids, I know this might be a stretch for you, but can you make this vid campy, k?  You guys would have been far more successful doing a Glee meets High School Musical tour of the Tenderloin. And I'm sorry guys, if you're renting your trendy single-speed bikes from Blazing Saddles, you've already lost the game.

San Francisco really needs a highly capable chapter of Anonymous

Jeanmarie Guenot Also Went After Amoeba Music?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Amoeba Music’s Amoeblog, the source that broke news of Jeanmarie Guenot’s NIMBY bullshit against Slim’s, appears to have deleted all their posts about situation.  While Amoeba and “Billyjam” don’t have any thoughts on the matter, it looks like Jeanmarie and her proxy NIMBY thug “Lisa” (who may or may not be Lisa Bass, who may or may not be a glorified software saleswoman, who may or may not be the leader of the Golden Gate University’s Toastmasters chapter) are pressing on with their campaign of threatening iconic businesses and working to shut down everything that makes San Francisco the bastion of fun, freedom, and dance we all love.

Perhaps even more troubling than the fight Slim’s has been enduring is the complacency of the press and our Board of Supervisors on the matter.  The Chronicle has so far failed to find anything newsworthy about a rouge neighbor getting a club’s liquor license suspended.  The Guardian, which has largely staked their modern reputation on being the crusaders against the war on fun, hasn’t made a peep about the situation (don’t worry though, cats and dogs are the cover story).  And there hasn’t been a single local politician willing to stick up for a local business.

Yet people wonder how Bay to Breakers could possibly be in danger…

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Wavves Rocks Amoeba

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Amoeba recently posted up video from Wavves' in-store concert from last summer.  Sure Amoeba took their time getting it all together, but the set sounds fucking solid and the production value of the video is tops:

And if you want to lose absolutely all respect for the band as human beings, be sure to catch the follow-up interview Amoeba did with the band:

[Ameoblog | Photo by Simon King]

Sitting and Lying Now a Walking Problem

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I found myself strolling along the post-Sit/Lie Haight Street last night.  The dozen or so 'undesirables' usually found planted on the corner of Haight and Masonic that are the bane of C.W. Nevius and grumpy old dude that owns FTC Skateboarding were no where to be found.  The sidewalk in front of the Goodwill was vacant.  Looks like the likely-unconstitutional law that recently went into effect worked, kicking all the gutter punks out of the Haight once and for all?

Nope, instead of people sitting on the sidewalk asking for change, Haight now has homeless people walking up and down the sidewalks, following people, begging for change and cigarettes.  One guy paraded himself from Amoeba to Cha Cha Cha yelling “THERE ARE DRUG ADDICTS ON THE SIDEWALK. HEY EVERYBODY, THERE ARE DRUG ADDICTS ON THE SIDEWALK.”  Another jumped in front of a Muni near the new Whole Foods, dancing and yelling “Who's my bitch?”  Another honed in on my friends and I, asking for a cigarette until one of us obliged, at which point he attempted to sell some banger weed.

I'm guessing this is not what SFPD and Haight businesses had in mind…

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Is Chase Bank the New American Apparel?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Everytime I go get drunk in the Lower Haight, I'm always amazed by my inability to locate an ample supply of walkable ATM that don't end up costing me $4.50 to use (an issue that Haighteration agrees is a problem).  Apparently the developer John Brennan Co. (builder of the new Haight Whole Foods) agreed this was a market opportunity, booted out a a 26-year-old cheese shop and a local truffle store at the corner of Divisadero and Oak and leased the freshly-vacant space to the neighborhood-absent Chase Bank.

Now neighbors have the pitchforks out.  Former mayoral candidate Quintin Mecke created a “Save the Character of Divisadero” petition, an anti-Chase Facebook page popped up, and Dean Preston, executive director of Tenant's Together, filed a formal appeal, claiming Chase Bank is subverting the anti-formula retail laws that helped keep American Apparel out of the Mission:

Chase's effort to saturate the San Francisco market with cookie-cutter replicas of its branches, while avoiding any meaningful neighborhood input, is exactly what San Francisco's Formula Retail law was designed to prevent.  In 2009, the Planning Commission unanimously rejected a similar effort by Chase to locate a branch in the Castro. Chase is bypassing Planning Commission review by obtaining permits without identifying the formula retail use.

The arguement goes that Chase isn't formula retail in the sense that they don't sell a product, which a bunch of neighborhoods wholeheartedly disagree with.  Others are just sick of going to Market Street to take out some cash.  But at the end of the day, neighbors are already getting into the pointless “I've lived here longer” pissing match, activists are encouraging people to pack tonight's Board of Appeals hearing, and everyone's missing the fact that this whole situation was created by the developer in the first place.

Pages