Bicycles

How to Ride a Bike With an Iguana on Your Head

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

  1. Obtain Iguana.
  2. Name Iguana “Skippy.”
  3. Go to your psychiatrist and receive a “prescription” for your newfound pet iguana, classifying him as a “service iguana.”
  4. Have the prescription read “To whom it may concern, I am the treating psychiatrist of Mr. Cosmie Silfa. I have been treating Mr. Silfa for depression. His pet iguana, Skippy, helps him to maintain a stable mood as she provides companionship and motivation for him to stay well. She is an essential component of our treatment plan, and I recommend she continue to be able to live with Mr. Silfa in his apartment.”
  5. Buy a bike helmet.
  6. Go ride.

Simple!

[Pic by Burrito Justice]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Here's Google Filming Some Crazy Rooftop Bike Jump Commercial For Project Glass

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

That's some biker on top of Moscone West, filming a commercial for Google's New Terminator Glasses, so says the uploader of this video:

Turns out it was for Google. They were doing a demo of project glass. Pretty awesome!

While the jump itself looks pretty lame embedded above, if you bump up the quality and full screen it, you can see the biker do a 360 and not the ramp doesn't reach the top of the roof—he's got some 3-4 feet to clear—which kinda makes it cooler.  Also, according to the uploader, “they had some people fly in by parachute too”—which definitely makes it cooler.

[via Bluoz]

C.W. Nevius Nearly Kills Cyclist With Car, Gets Upset About Resulting Yells

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

SF Chronicle blogger and alleged fan of the entire The Darkness discography C.W. Nevius is my favorite blogger who's not a Mission blogger.  Why?  Because he always writes incendiary slime about the controversy of the day.  And what fun it is!

Recently, the target of C.Dubs polemics have been the thundering menace of a cyclist scorned.  In Nevius's world, these aggro two-wheeled executioners are violent hazards running stop signs in the Wiggle and berating Nice Old Ladies in the crosswalks.  What's worse? These thugs want rights!  They want more bike lanes.  They want Idaho stops.  They want bikes lanes all to themselves.  Judging by the sheer frequency Nevius writes about “sanctimonious bike types,” you would think the 3.5% have replaced gang violence, homelessness, and corruption in City Hall as San Francisco's biggest issues.

Yesterday, the blogging got a bit better.  In a piece titled “The aggro bike rider and me”, Nevius detailed a horrible incident in which was yelled at for nearly driving 3,000 pounds of grease and metal into a sanctimonious bike type:

A BMW driver — and do not get me started on BMW drivers — cut me off in my car and I swerved to get around him. Immediately I heard a guy on a bike yelling. “Check both mirrors before you change lanes.”

Fair enough. I cut him off. My bad. And I would have said so except what followed was an unbelievable string of F-bombs and insults. It went on and on. Holy crap. My first instinct was to roll down the window and say, “Hey, that guy cut me off. It was an accident.” But one look at the guy told me that was a bad idea. He was spoiling for a fight.

So, agreeing again that it was my fault, I don’t get it. There are lots of things that trigger irrational hate — religion, race, politics, and national origin. But bikes? C’mon.

This is a supercharged discussion. We’re talking about the bike jerks who ran down, and even killed, pedestrians. It feeds into the perception of the self-entitled bike riders who think they own the road. And, in some cases that apparently leads to the opposing view that automobile drivers are clueless, malicious twits who are intentionally running two-wheel riders off the road.

Ah yes, those two cyclists who killed two pedestrians (while motorists have splattered hundreds) obviously represent the entire cycling populace.  What was this dude thinking?! When you were making a “bad” and hurling your vehicle into a biker, he clearly should have been thinking about the perception of cyclists held by maddened lunatics who think their vehicles own the road.

We really should ban bicycles from the road.  We don't want C.W. Nevius's fragile sensibilities to be further damaged.

[Photo by dumbeast]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

BART to Explore Lifting the Rush Hour Ban on Bikes

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

BART's rush hour ban on bikes has always been a real pain in the ass for us spry folk wanting to do things in Oakland—a silly pain in the ass, at that.  It always seemed to me that given bikes are such an integral part of the way so many San Franciscans get around, why not dedicate at least one bike car at rush hour?  Just cram all the bikes in the last car of BART (much like Caltrain handles it), leaving the non-cyclists to get all sweaty and asphyxiated by squeezing into the other 8 or 9 cars like they ordinarily do.

But such an idea has not been without its notable detractors within BART itself, which has always dashed our hopes of all-hours bike access on BART.

However, much to our surprise, BART changed their tune and has decided to test the feasibility of allowing bikes on BART during rush hour.  And not just on the last car, but on all available cars:

BART will launch a pilot program to allow bicycles on board trains all day long on Fridays in August. The idea is to see how allowing bikes on trains all day, including rush hour, will affect passengers and train operations. This pilot program does not change bicycle rules for Monday through Thursday, or BART’s prohibition of riders boarding with bikes in the first car or crowded trains remain in place.

Of course, it isn't a given that this will become permanent, as BART will be interviewing people to make sure cyclists aren't being dicks on crowded trains or slowing everything down:

Evaluation of “Bike Fridays” will occur on each Friday. The evaluation will help determine if the pilot is extended or if BART continues to restrict bikes during peak periods. The evaluation will include feedback from riders, both cyclists and non-cyclists, and an analysis of operational issues, such as the amount of time a train remains at each station to accommodate bicycle boarding.  Any suggested changes to BART’s bike rules will go to the BART Board for discussion.

Finally, the SF Bike Coalition also gives us some advice as how to make this permanent:

The success of this pilot is contingent in large part on bike riders being courteous and respectful to all BART riders on these pilot Fridays.  Here are a few reminders to help us convince BART to make this pilot permanent (also good advice for every time you ride BART):

  • If the car is full wait for another train, and do not try to wedge a bike into a crowded car.
  • Refrain from holding doors to get your bike inside, as this delays the train.
  • Be mindful of your fellow riders and make your are leaving other people adequate  space.
  • When possible use the designated “bike space” on the cars that have it.
  • Yield to pregnant, disabled and elderly passengers.
  • A complete list of bikes on BART rules are here.

[Photo by Paul Diddy]

Ride Around on Your Flag of Choice

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Companies have been making flag handlebar tape for years, but this is the first foray into flag bicycle tires I've ever seen. They even come in all your favorite Eurozone patterns! (and American and Canadian and British too, I guess.)  Sadly, I have not seen these in any local bike shops yet (although I'd imagine that'll change real soon), but you can Bing around and find 'em for about $35.

[Photo by starfuckers]

Your Local Messengers are the Best in the Nation

— By Erika Kali |

Even though we just posted about TCB Courier a few days ago, we're gonna do it again — right now — so prepare yourself.

Over the past weekend, a few of the TCB riders flew out to Richmond, Virginia to compete in the North American Cycling Courier Championships, and our homeboy/TCB head honcho Chas Christiansen won the whole thing. So what exactly is NACCS you ask? Let's take a look, via the NACCS website:

The North American Cycle Courier Championship is the premier bike messenger event on the continent. The hardest working couriers throughout the continent converge to socialize and face off for a chance at the title of Courier Champion. The weekend event will be a grueling logistical challenge of strength, speed, and mental capacity. Open forums, parties, and side events turn the weekend into a true celebration of sport, friendships and culture.

This is a pretty big deal, not only because it means that Chas is the best of the best, but also because this is the first time that San Francisco has won any sporting championship since that North American Stickball/Journey sing-a-long Championship back in 2010.

So congratulations Chas! We at Uptown Almanac are pumped you brought it home for SF, and we can't wait to see you at our door with those sandwiches in 30 minutes or less (cause then it's free, right? Or am I thinking of Dominos…).

[Photo via Zach Gibson]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Some Background on TCB Courier

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Different Workbook recently unleashed a nice profile of TCB Courier, the local bike messenger service that's about to deliver some sandos to my fucking face:

As part of a planet-spanning cycle messenger community, Chas and his friends witnessed the old paradigm for this type of business stop working. It used to be that bike courier businesses revolved around the financial district of a city. Fifteen years ago, at the height of the dot-com boom, the FiDi neighborhood in San Francisco was served by more than 500 cycle messengers. Yet between the Internet, fax machines, e-mail, and finally a seriously down economy, the traditional cycle delivery businesses began failing. “A dying system,” Chas says. Today, the downtown financial core of San Francisco is served by about 70 messengers.

So what do you do when you love to be on your bike every day and love the global messenger community you’re part of, and you’re watching the old ways of working die? These guys decided to create a company that revolved around a cultural center, not the financial center, of their city, to serve local individuals and businesses, and to provide a less expensive alternative to downtown bike messengers. As they created a service for their neighbors, TCB Courier was born. TCB stands for “takin’ care of business.” Today, they are bigger than expected. The business has expanded as other cycle messengers, living in other neighborhoods, decided they’d like to similarly serve their own neighborhoods. They called TCB and asked to join them and run their own neighborhoods.

Read on.

[Photo by John Daniel Reiss]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

How a Bicycle is Made (in 1945)

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

This video is kinda old and kinda long (and so fuckin' British), but if you have a little time to squander, this look into how Raleigh bikes were manufactured and designed in 1945 is pretty neat-o.  For example:

This lady can install a tire in under 50 seconds.

This is the giant Raleigh factory.

The meth lab in the back of the factory.

Duder apparently fills 1,000 hubs with ball bearings every goddamn day.

“I’d like to know how you turn all these lines and circles on paper into a finished bicycle.” - An Actual British Person

Mass Bike Thief Arrested, Eight More Bikes Found

— By Alissa |

Remember yesterday when the cops found over 100 stolen bikes in Oakland? Well, they arrested someone in connection with the stolen property, and that someone is an 18 year old twerp by the name of Irving Sanchez. From the SFPD press release:

San Francisco Police recovered 114 stolen bicycles, the result of a search warrant issued by a judge of the Superior Court on May 15, 2012. Irving Sanchez, 18, of San Francisco was taken into custody at his residence on May 17, 2012.

Members of the Station Investigation Team (SIT) at Ingleside Police Station were led to Sanchez’s San Francisco residence on the 200 block of Charter Oak Avenue, where police located 8 bicycles stored in the kitchen. A further search yielded evidence leading to two self-serve storage lockers on the 5200 block of Coliseum Way in Oakland. A search warrant was issued for both the 200 block of Charter Oak and the 5200 block of Coliseum Way. When police entered the storage lockers, one locker contained 25 bicycles. Police then proceeded to a second storage locker within the unit, where they found an additional 81 bicycles. Police also recovered eighty bicycle tires and a bicycle frame inside the second locker.

Sanchez was booked at San Francisco County Jail on numerous felony counts of receiving stolen property.

You can view the press release in full here, including images of all the newly recovered bikes.

[via SFPD]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

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