— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
There I was thinking I could run into Thrift Town, cop me a chipped Sonic the Hedgehog coffee mug and a broken printer and get right out the door when I was met with this monster of a line. Don't get me wrong, I'm no stranger to waiting in line to buy $1 shirts, but this was a beast previously unseen by my eyes. The cause? Turns out they're having a 50% off sale all week and they didn't even put it on Groupon.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Every few years, some hilarious video that completely savages a San Francisco subculture surfaces. The last time we saw a video of that caliber was way back in the Fall of 2009, when 'the BBC' reported from Dolores Park. Herpes in the park! The Bi-Rite line! Apathatic 22-year-olds! Anti-American Apparel activism! Iraqi-Japanese fusion restaurants! Ah, it was good stuff.
Of course, we've been in a YouTube low ever since. Making fun of the Mission has gone from an elevated art form to a boring list of stereotypes. Shitting on the Haight stopped being funny when CW Nevius started campaigning for Sit/Lie. And the Marina is just, well, the Marina.
But out of nowhere comes the bros behind “BillyGoatProductions”, who were clever enough to just take a camera and a microphone and let the Marina speak for itself. Don't get me wrong, this video is fairly subtle—it's not a bunch of quick clips of punchlines delivered with a British accent—but what it is happens to be highly amusing.
Also, the soundtrack makes me want to take shitty drugs and dance.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
A few weeks ago, I got hella excited that we might soon see Pollo Campero's badass logo of a chicken cowboy that eats his own kind on Mission St. Well, the chain recently posted up their drawings for the restaurant in the window of the space and they're unfortunately ditching their rad look for a more bougie Mission feel with a boring new logo. But just when I was walking away from the restaurant, something to the left of the drawing caught my eye:
That's right: a Mission hipster wearing a trucker hat, Wayfayers, a trench coat, rocking a full beard, and holding a bottle of wine. Not exactly true to neighborhood fashion, but hilarious never-the-less. Plus, you have to give them credit for recognizing the fact that Mission St. is covered in trash, even if they are modeling the fast-food chain after Foreign Cinema:
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Over the years, I've had a number of friends buy $300 pairs of jeans over at Self Edge and proceed not wash them for 6 months. Now, I never quite got the logic behind paying a half-months rent for jeans rather than just getting a cheap pair of Levi's, but everyone has their own fashion priorities. But not washing your pants for six month? Yeah…
Well, some student put his college education to good use and discovered not washing your jeans for 15 months is 'completely safe':
A University of Alberta student didn't wash a pair of skinny jeans for 15 months and science says the fashion trend is safe, but maybe a tad smelly.
Josh Le wore the same pair of jeans to break in the raw denim, so it would wrap the contours of his body, leaving distinct wear lines.
He had his textile professor test the jeans for bacteria before washing them for the first time.
The results showed high counts of five different kinds of bacteria, but nothing in the range of being considered a health hazard.
The article went on to say that whenever the jeans became “a bit funky,” he'd toss the jeans in the freezer and they'd “magically” come out odorless. So there you have it people, skip wasting all your money at the laundromat and start leaving your jeans next to the Costco bag of boneless chicken breasts that have been sitting in your freezer since July.
(CTV News, via Slashdot | Pic by Andrew NG)
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
I've always wanted to know what a talking bird would look like in a hoodie. And, well, now I know.
(hat tip SFist | Photo by Demetrios Lyras)
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Unlike the entire user base of Tumblr, I generally don't find discarded furniture to be artful or particularly memorable. However, this twin mattress is COVERED IN FUCKING DINOSAURS and probably once made some kid's dream come true.
I sure do feel bad for the little guy that felt he grew out of such a beautiful piece of mass production. Little does he know, such bedroom furnishings are actually considered cool and would probably have gotten him some play in his 20s.
— By Josh Constine |
OKCupid, the free online dating service you say you've never heard of but that I saw your profile on, released some cool data the other day. That's right, cool data. It's learning time.
Basically they looked at which girls on the site got the most messages from guys. Turns out being a prim & proper, traditionally beautiful girl won't get you hit on as much as being unkempt and tattooed.
See, hipster fashion is polarizing, even amongst hipster guys. Some dudes like bangs and vintage dresses, some like neon v-necks and hightops, and some like black leather and chunks of metal in a lady's face.
Girls with this effect on men — the ones some guys thought were really hot and others thought were too strange, the ones who got lots of 5's and 1's on a 5 star attractiveness rating system, received many more messages than mainstream girls who were consistently rated a cute 4 out of 5 stars by most men.
AKA hipster chicks that guys have a wide range of opinions on get more attention than sorority girls who everyone thinks are attractive.
The reason is that guys see kooky hipster girl and think, “I'm probably the only person who digs her. There's less competition so I have a better shot. I'll go talk to/message her.” Meanwhile, guys see a barbie doll and think, “She probably gets hit on non-stop. There's no way she'd like me more than the other guys. I'm better off not even trying.”
Yeah, there's a bunch of confounding variables including the fact that the beefcake pretty boys who would message sorority girls are too busy gym/tan/laundry'ing to use dating websites.
Still, this is a win for self-expression and alternative fashion. I've definitely been following this behavior pattern my whole life. Women should take this as free license to do whatever they damn well please with their appearance.
Will these findings usher in a migration of Marina girls to the Mission? Guys, have you always subconsciously gravitated towards “different” girls? Ladies, can you confirm this theory or call shenanigans on it? 'Cause I'm not seeing too many shenanigans.
[Note: This post is not meant to objectify women. I'm a respectful appreciator, so please don't grab your pitchforks and torches.]
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
While it may not be as badass as the original, it is neon, floating in the middle of outer space, and has lensless Ray-Bans. All that's left to do is beat this kid up under the cover of darkness, spraypaint a picture of cattle or other various farm animals over his shirt, and steal his lunch money.
— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Not only did a man in the Mission have this tattoo, but he was proudly showing it off to a crowd of NYE revelers. I have no idea if this is some post-post-ironic statement against the Platt Amendment or merely a penis joke, but it's a sign that 2011 is off to a good start.
— By Jenny Wilson |
