This goofy burrito Kickstarter campaign requires your immediate attention and unfettered access to your credit card:

The San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival (SFCBF) will be a three day long festival celebrating two of the greatest things in the world: stand-up comedy and burritos. 

The festival will be feature comedians from all over the country, as well as top talent from our own thriving local scene. Several top headliners have already expressed enthusiastic interest in performing at the festival. There will be no sketch or improv- just pure good old-fashioned stand-up (and maybe a podcast or two for good measure).

The festival will take place in the centrally located Mission District of San Francisco, a cultural hotbed that features a variety of performance venues and gallery spaces. Each of the venues will be within walking distance of each other, facilitating easy migration from one show to another and thereby maximizing the number of shows festival goers will be able to see. Because of this, the best way to experience our festival will be by purchasing a very affordable festival pass, although tickets for individual shows will also be available to purchase.

Oh yes, some undetermined weekend this fall, many of your favorite Mission venues will be full (full!) to the brim with gaggles of your favorite regional and national comics.  And what's more? “With each ticket purchase, the customer will receive a coupon that can be used for purchases at one of the nearby participating taquerias.”  That's right, comedy and burritos.  It's like SXSW comedy, only full of sour cream and absent of all the social media pretension and Rainn Wilson.

Just watch their promotional video:

Of course, like everything else in its infancy, they need money to get it going—five thousand whole dollars to help pay deposits for venues, cover promotional costs, and fund notable Los Angeles comic's cocaine habits a.k.a. “performer fees.”  So open up your hearts and wallets to promoters Ameen and Jeff and help make this assuredly awesome festival happen.

[Kickstarter]

These guys have been stenciling the Mission in anticipation of their big show, and now they're ready to grace Public Works with a giant, beautifully cultish celebration of all things Bowie:

Experience David Bowie's love this Sunday, 2/26 at Public Works featuring a special service from the Mission's own Bowie worship band The First Church of the Sacred Silversexual.  After a year in the making based out of a garage on Florida and 25th, we're ready to share with our neighborhood a musical, theatrical, sparkly spectacle of a show that tap dances the line between religion and revelry, beatitude and blasphemy, rock show, and revival.

And here's what they they sound like covering Ziggy Stardust:

If that's not enough to get you in the door, they're promising $3 “Stardust shooters” (??? !!!) until 10pm and $3 beers all night.

Tickets are only $5 if you get 'em early, so head over to Eventbrite and slap down your credit card.

February is proving to be a low time of the year for adoptions at the SPCA. So to reverse the trend, they're kicking off a weekend-long cat and dog adoption marathon with a free Friday evening happy hour full of booze, 230 cats and dozens of dogs to play with and adopt, cheap (cheap!) tattoos from Frisco Tattoo, eats from the “punk rock food truck,” and an Animal Planet host talking about cats.

Jen fills us in on some of the details:

We are in the downturn cycle of cat and dog adoptions–it always happens at this time of year–so we are throwing a big cocktail party on Friday the 10th with Jackson Galaxy, a tatted up cat behaviorist with a show on Animal Planet “My Cat From Hell,” as our special guest.  We'll also have Ken Een from Frisco Tattoo here doing a collection of artwork for $30-$50. Why tattoos? Well, there’s a pretty tight connection between tats and cats. Check it out:

One SPCA employee, Laura Gretch (far right), is so confident in the tats and cats thing that she's currently auctioning off some of her uncovered skin to raise money for the shelter, with the lucky bidder choosing the artwork of her next tattoo and getting to watch Laura get the tattoo done during the party.

One of Laura's current tattoos.  YOU COULD CHOOSE THE NEXT ONE.

If all that isn't enough for you, the SPCA has an entire weekend for of happenings, including workshops with Jackson and other cat behaviorists, a puppy kissing booth, “lots of chocolate,” and they're offering “amazing adoption prices” of $10 (on the 10th), $11 (on the 11th) and $12 (on the 12th).  PLUS, this is your opportunity to see how the city's orphaned animals have bigger apartments than you:

Not cats.

Of course, this event and all the alcohol served is most definitely free, but I must personally encourage you to throw a few bones their way in the form of a nice cash donation.  For the animals.

Uptown readers, are you familiar with the KOFY show Dance Party? I don’t know if you all spend as much time watching local television broadcasting as I do, but this show is absolutely one of the most mindboggling trainwrecks on TV (and I’m including Real Housewives from ALL cities). See, it’s like an 80's version of MTV’s The Grind, except everyone on it seems to be morbidly obese, incredibly unattractive, or on MDMA of some type. Delusions of grandeur are rampant throughout Dance Party. 

Give it about 25 seconds:

I watched an episode the other night with a 200+ lb woman dressed as a Rubix cube, but unfortunately couldn’t find that clip. You get the idea though. The best part about it is that you really can’t tell if it was filmed recently or 20-25 years ago, which I’m sure was deliberate on the part of whatever crackpot genius dreamt this shit up.

ANYWAY, this show is indeed current and they’re filming season 3 this Saturday. They’re doing three tapings: 11:45 am, 2:00 pm, and 3:45 pm. The noon taping might be a little too early to roll out to Bayview get enough substances in your system to participate to your full abilities. Maybe wait until the 3:45 one since it is not only 80’s themed, but will apparently be an 80’s Pajama Party. Does anyone even know what 80’s pajamas are?  

More info on the Facebook page