so I just got this email blast with this flyer for a free earth party in the park, I thought oh that’s cool I guess but then I saw The Jacka was on the line up to perform and thought OH THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME! All I can hope for is that some lame’s afternoon of tight rope walking to be ruined by the sweet sounds of the Mob Figaz. I am no fan of Goapele but I will go to any show that has the possibility of Husalah showing up. When he came out with Jacka during Freeway’s set at Mezzanine I kind of lost my shit. In a perfect world Husalah would be up there chanting you’re pretty cool for a black guy and yelling bring me another beer to a sea of apathetic skinny pants.
youtube failed me for a video of I’m A Wild Child so you get the latest Husalah youtube joint instead.
Get this: after years of obsessing over their two classic albums of brain-shredding heavy music, dealing with their subsequent break-up, and having their new album of brutal genius bestowed upon me last year, I finally get to let those motherfuckers in the band Coalesce blow my mind live and in person. Needless to say, I’m stoked to be seeing—for the first fucking time—one of my all time favorite heavy bands since my teen years this Saturday at Slim’s. The upcoming show brings a thought to mind: Coalesce is just one of many ’90s-born bands that have recently convened its disparate parts to reunite, and, for lack of a better word, capitalize on the element of nostalgia that so many music lovers (read: people) quite easily succumb to.
Sunny Day Real Estate, looking so early-’90s.
In the past months, the bands Far, Sunny Day Real Estate, and The Get Up Kids, to name a few, have all settled whatever differences there were, and hit the touring circuit to cash in on the elderly (read: 30+) and the young folks, not unlike myself, who hunger for another taste of what they once loved. Now, before I get to my shit talking, I’ll say this: I saw Far twice—once in Sacramento and once in SF—and SDRE the one night they played The Fillmore. I did not see The Get Up Kids, but I probably would have were I suffering from a severely monstrous surplus of money. However, I draw the line here: Cap’n Jazz.
Cap’n Jazz, looking so seminal.
You may be saying, “What the H, Patric? Aren’t you one of those dudes that does that emo thing at Pop’s? Aren’t you more or less required by scene law to attend the reunion of the harbingers of the now-dead genre you propagate on a monthly basis? What the H gives?!”
And you’d be right, but then I’d say, “Well, dude, here’s the thing. I grew up listening to those other bands, waiting for their new albums to come out, wishing my parents would let me go see them play live, and bumming out super hard when I found out I missed my chance because they’d broken up. Sunny Day Real Estate and The Get Up Kids were fucking huge when they were around, and any self-respecting kid in the scene would’ve given their coolest pin and a super-rare colored-vinyl 7” to go see them perform. But guess what, you never even heard of Cap’n Jazz until at least three years after they stopped being a band that no one cared about, unless you went to highschool in the fucking greater Chicago area in the early-’90s, and you probably wouldn’t have ever had the chance to hear their songs if the members hadn’t gone on to immediately join two legitimate bands that people did actually care about.”
At this point, I’d take a sip of a beer (though not PBR, sorry), then continue, “By the way, those guys were fucking children when they made that band. Do really expect a bunch of cynical dudes who are revered by many to be ‘gods’ of whatever they do, and have aged nearly 20 years since they started the band, to still have the same naive angst and frustration they did when they were teenage virgins? That was what made their music actually worthwhile! Not to mention, have you seen the clips of them on YouTube? They were terrible live! Any band nowadays trying to pull that shit at Bimbo’s on a Friday night would get the shit beat out of them. Or at least booed offstage.”
After a brief pause—allowing my words a chance to sink in—I’d conclude my long-winded diatribe, “And don’t you remember Owls? That fucking band was labeled as a goddamn ‘reforming’ of Cap’n Jazz too, but at least they wrote new fucking songs! Now, those guys are just being lazy, and ripping off your 20 bucks for some rehashed shit I’d just as soon listen to every third Tuesday of the month at Pop’s.” (<— so legit)
You may then respond, saying, “Well, shit, Patric. I see what you’re saying, but I got this extra ticket that I can’t seem to pawn off. You still wanna come with me?”
Since conflict of interest is already my middle name, I want to alert you all to an excellent bakesale happening this Saturday (TOMORROW) in front of Herbivore on Valencia from 11 am to 4 pm. All the money goes to help save highly endangered mountain Gorillas in DR Congo’s Virunga National Forest and to Wildcare, an awesome wildlife hospital and education center in San Rafael. Seriously, if you find any injured animals in the bay area, take them to Wildcare unless you want them to be gassed or get subpar shitty care somewhere else.
ANYWAY, we’re gonna have all sorts of ridiculously delicious shit there, including mountains of cupcakes, chocolate covered caramels, and pickled cauliflower. Yep. See you sluts there!
Remember when Weezer came to town on MySpace’s dime and everyone ‘busted nutz’ all over the city thanks to the opportunity to see Rivers for free? Well the marketing gods at Microsoft saw that as a good idea so now you can see an “Indie Rock Sensation,” The Neptunes formerly-brilliant-but-now-tragic trio and some frat boy play all over SF this Saturday for FREE. They have not announced concert locations yet but I’m calling Yeasayer for Dolores Park.
The Black Harbor has the scoop on what I personally consider to be a top notch poster. (Personal note to TBH: why did you make it impossible to permalink to post?)
Contrary to the title of this post, the entirety of my weekend will involve eating burritos in the sunny Santa Barbara, hopefully with this dude. But if the lure of $10 nachos and high-fiving sorority sluts during their walk of shame wasn’t such a huge pull, i’d be doing the following things:
Pacific Standard Timeless DVD premiere: FREE STUFF. FREE THINGS. tonight, over at Eve’s Lounge (I got a flyer for there once, so it must be legit), they’re premiering Mochilla’s “Timeless” DVD, which from what I can pick up is about concerts in LA. There’ll be lots of free music, including J-Rocc of the Beat Junkies, who I suppose is good because the event listing touts him as the West Coast’s greatest living DJ. but who cares? ITS FREE.
Thurs @ 9pm, 575 Howard St.
Shake Me! show: Remember when i wrote about these guys? who am i kidding, limited attention spans and diminished brain cells probably means you’re like “who is this bitch with the cat picture posting things?” Anyways, they’re an East Bay band, but they’re playing in SF at Retox on Saturday, which means you don’t have to cross any significant bodies of water to hear awesome music. The last time they played, people came into my bar sobbing and kept muttering “it was so beautiful. SO beautiful” after the show, so if you want to hear music that would make Mother Theresa feel like she hadnt done enough for this world, head over to Potrero Hill this Saturday. if music isn’t your thing, but strange dudes with buttah teefs dancing and interiors that looks like a 70s porno set in an airplane are, you should DEFINITELY go. Besides, I mean, look how goddamned cute they are. if i wasn’t so invested in my future as a cat lady I’d be all like “let’s go back to my place and watch procedural crime dramas!”
Sat @ 7:30, 628 20th St.
So get on with your bad selves and enjoy San Francisco this weekend. I’ll be back on Monday with a sunburn, hangover, and hopefully stories about how I was made to feel like a cougar at the ripe old age of almost 23. THANKS SANTA BARBARA.
Tomorrow is San Francisco’s first-ever Goat Festival!
From 10am to 1pm at the Ferry Building, you’ll find free samples of delicious goat products (yogurt, cheese, even ice cream!) lectures and cooking demos and, most importantly, a petting zoo full of adorable baby goats. I cannot tell you how psyched I am for this. I mean come on, baby goats are so much more fun than a zipline.
THIS SICK ART IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BILL GATES
