Contrary to the title of this post, the entirety of my weekend will involve eating burritos in the sunny Santa Barbara, hopefully with this dude. But if the lure of $10 nachos and high-fiving sorority sluts during their walk of shame wasn’t such a huge pull, i’d be doing the following things:

Pacific Standard Timeless DVD premiere: FREE STUFF. FREE THINGS. tonight, over at Eve’s Lounge (I got a flyer for there once, so it must be legit), they’re premiering Mochilla’s “Timeless” DVD, which from what I can pick up is about concerts in LA. There’ll be lots of free music, including J-Rocc  of the Beat Junkies, who I suppose is good because the event listing touts him as the West Coast’s greatest living DJ. but who cares? ITS FREE.

Thurs @ 9pm, 575 Howard St.

Shake Me! show: Remember when i wrote about these guys? who am i kidding, limited attention spans and diminished brain cells probably means you’re like “who is this bitch with the cat picture posting things?” Anyways, they’re an East Bay band, but they’re playing in SF at Retox on Saturday, which means you don’t have to cross any significant bodies of water to hear awesome music. The last time they played, people came into my bar sobbing and kept muttering “it was so beautiful. SO beautiful” after the show, so if you want to hear music that would make Mother Theresa feel like she hadnt done enough for this world, head over to Potrero Hill this Saturday. if music isn’t your thing, but strange dudes with buttah teefs dancing and interiors that looks like a 70s porno set in an airplane are, you should DEFINITELY go. Besides, I mean, look how goddamned cute they are. if i wasn’t so invested in my future as a cat lady I’d be all like “let’s go back to my place and watch procedural crime dramas!”

Sat @ 7:30, 628 20th St.

So get on with your bad selves and enjoy San Francisco this weekend. I’ll be back on Monday with a sunburn, hangover, and hopefully stories about how I was made to feel like a cougar at the ripe old age of almost 23. THANKS SANTA BARBARA.