Castro
It's been over six hours since mainstream news source SF Gate covered the eviction of popular sandwich shop Ike's Place and nearly three since Eater blew up the spot, but the non-foodcentric big local blogs are still eerily quiet. Instead, sizzling hot trending topics like iPhone donut finder apps, how shitty this weekend's weather will be, and tainted meat in Modesto seem to be all the rage.
Is Ike's 'old news'?
Will anyone miss it when it's gone?
If a trendy establishment closes in SF and nobody blogs it, was it ever really there?
Or are the local/hyperlocal blogs merrily building up to drop the mother of all posts and bust this Ike's story 'wide open'?
Bonus Question: Am I reading too much HRO?
Our pal Matt Baume just finished up a piece for the Bay Area Reporter's BAR TAB about the best places to drink outside this side of Twin Peaks. It may be a little gay themed, but it's still one of the more comprehensive lists I've seen. For example, let me admit to you all that I had NO IDEA the Pilsner Inn had a patio, but that's probably because I never go outside a 4-block radius of my house. Whatever, it's true! Also, Matt claims Zeitgeist is a "a gayish bar." Let the flame war begin... (link)
(photo by Timo Arnall)
In the event you've been living under a rock (or don't read food blogs), the San Francisco bloggernets have been going NUTS over the news that Ike's might be EVICTED (via sue-happy NIMBY neighbors). I feel like this is San Francisco's OJ Simpson Trial. If the food bloggers were the jurors, Ike's would get off, bloody baguette and all. But in reality, the neighbors have some legitimate claims. The line is insane and I'm sure it is annoying having polite white people eating sandwiches on your stoop. To me, it seems ridiculous Ike's hasn't moved to a more appropriate location. I've never even gone to Ike's and have no intention of doing so because, fuck it, my time is better spent just getting a delicious veggie BBQ "chicken" sandwich at Rhea's and going to the park then hanging out with tourists in a two hour line. But just because locals seem turned off by the line doesn't mean the business is evil. The idea of suing Ike's out of business just because the line annoys you gives me the willies. Hopefully the court is reasonable and Ike can move to a more appropriate location on his own schedule, not a government-mandated one.
On a lighter note, be sure to read the comments on Vegansaurus about the matter. Vegansaurus commenters are my favorite SF commenters because they are the boil on the ass of veganism. In this case, they want to crucify poor Ike on a cross of gluten-free soy because he "kills a lot of animals." You know, because people trying to cater to vegans, even a little bit, are bad people. These tools are the reason Mission Burger stopped serving their BOMB-ASS VEGAN BURGER and why most omnivores don't want to kiss veggie boys and girls. Tears. (link)
(photo by Charles Haynes)
Last week I was in Brooklyn and stumbled across Bond No. 9's latest scent "Brooklyn.'" The Brooklyn perfume consists of a combination of grapefruit, cardamom, cypress-wood, geranium leaves, juniper berrie, cesarwood, leather and guaiacwood, (wtf is that?) and for a mere $220 you can actually "smell like" Brooklyn. Don't really know where they came up with this weird ass combo to encapsulate the scent of the "edgy metropolis." To me Crooklyn smells like wasted youth and decaying bodies but, I guess that really isn't marketable.
If San Francisco's neighborhoods were bottled up into different perfumes, what would these neighborhoods smell like? And what is the price you'd have to pay to smell like them?
Mission: Taco trucks, piss, cheap beer, expensive coffee, trustafarians. Price: One call to your parents to please, please, please let you use daddy's Amex one more time.
Haight: Drum circles, midwestern runaways that didn't get the memo that punk is dead (see: dirt, b.o., and dreadlocks), bong loads, DMT. Price: Panhandle for 48 hrs straight and pray some unwitting tourists feel bad for your 3 dogs.
Marina: The scent of entitlement, hair product, fake tanner, axe body spray, shame, chest bumps! Price: The cost of running for mayor.
Tenderloin: Crack, garbage, meth, cheap blow jobs (see: rotting teeth), poor life decisions. Price: Eagerness to give cheap blow jobs.
Noe Valley: Upwardly mobile snobbery, babies, french bulldogs (read: shit), the new car smell. Price: Raising 2 kids, paying for private school, a vasectomy
Sunset: Isolation, depression, pseudo suburbia. Price: Moving anywhere else in the city
Castro: Rainbows, unicorns, leather daddy's leather, lube. Price: An evening at Boy Bar.
Chinatown: fish, lost tourists, the dirty 30, dumpsters. Price: Shitting yourself.
North Beach: Pizza! bros, day old strippers. Price: One lap dance.
If you have anymore ideas go ahead and throw them into the comments, and if you want to add anymore neighbs that I didn't cover, i.e. Pac Heights (I'm not sure what rich smells like) go ahead and do it.
The details are sketchy, but according to multiple people on twitter, a woman had a seizure and her SUV rolled in Samovar Tea Lounge. At least one person is seriously injured.
This just in: you can ride a fixed-gear track bicycle, lug packages across town and destroy family values all the at the same time! DANG, jk y'all.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
What does the South Sunset Playfield have to do with Dolores Park? Everything.Rec & Park finally launched their completely disappointing Dolores Park Renovation website. Naturally, there is no way to submit community input or feedback, no additional information that we didn't report on two months ago, nada. The "get involved" section links to some random page about planting sprouts or weed or some shit... half the links either don't work or go to some irrelevant page (my favorite is the twitter link in their 'social media toolbar').
The only thing this site tells us is that the next community meeting is going to be sometime in July and the construction schedule has been pushed back to February 2012. And it took the city government 2 months to get this thing out the door? Fail.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Matt Baume noticed this cop's Shamrock magazine after he gave a lecture to a bunch of skateboarder's a while back. Kinda dig that he can have a sense of humor even though he has to bitch out skaters.
Do you remember Mecca on 2029 Market? I don't eat Oysters, so I don't. But that place has been shut down for a wicked long time and some people who have mastered the art of handwriting that go by the name "Fam 888 Enterprises LLC" are angling to move into the space.
(via MrEricSir)
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