Pets & Animals

Lower Haight Naan N' Chutney Cockroach Breaks Via Twitter

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

You might have remembered that a few weeks ago the Chez Maman robbery “broke over twitter” and the SF Weekly editorial board Bukkaketa all over ‘mnstrm media.’  Sorta felt that it was obvious that someone being held up at gunpoint would be able to tweet about it before the internets could blog about it but, hey, why not write a story about twitter breaking the story so our blog can ‘go viral’ (via 40 retweets).

But hey, now it is has been EIGHT DAYS since the world-changing cockroach story at Naan N’ Chutney and “the blogosphere” is only now covering.  Hot damn.  Twitter is really “shocking the local digerati especially in light of lack of real time coverage from any major S.F. news organizations.”

Cool Kid Travels: Portland's Big Ass Crab

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Termie was in Portland and spotted this killer crab.  Not completely sure, but I’m guessing Jake’s is a vegan restaurant with a sense of humor.

Apparently big crabs are not new, which is new to me.  For example, this was front page news in 1985:

And some bro started an Angelfire site (complete with spinning email gif icon + text telling you that you have to refresh to see the latest version of the constantly updating site) celebrating the glory that is giant crustaceans.  Argh.  San Francisco, I’m not going to be happy until I see a 90 foot seahorse (WARNING: bros molesting inflatable animals) dancing in the wind above Weird Fish.  Get to work.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

LOST DOG!

— By Megan Allison |

 Laura at Vegansaurus* brings us this APB - Annie the dog is lost! Please keep your eyes out for an adorable terrier sans Chill Pill, last seen at Pacific & Walnut escaping into the Presidio. 

Not that anybody who reads this blog would be in the Presidio Heights neighborhood doing anything but scoring coke from trust fund high school students, but if you do happen to be smoking a bowl by Mountain Lake and you see this dog, put on your hero cape for a minute and call one of these numbers:  (415) 309-9710 (415) 776-9324 (415) 922-5040

*yes Laura at Vegansaurus is also Laura at Uptown Almanac. Just trying to maintain the illusion of propriety here people. 

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

The Deer Hunter

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

This could not possible have anything less to do about SF but it’s a goddamn dead deer on a couch watching TV.

From the inbox, by way of North Carolina:

This is the pull off at Rt 35 and Miracle Dr
A deer was hit there.
The couch was dumped there previously.
Day two the deer was on the couch.
Day three the end table and lamp showed up.
Day four the TV and TV stand showed up.

Quality.

Given the success of "Hipster Puppies," I think I should start "Indie Rock Puppies"

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

All I wanted to do yesterday was ravage a black bean burger and drink some generic-yet-strikingly-sexy American beer; so I rolled into Bender’s and was immediately confronted by some Fernet-sponsored afternoon sideshow.  Yahweh clearly wasn’t going to be parting the sea of scenesters covered in red stage lighting for me, so opted to hang out in the back making fleeting hand-grabbing motions at the unplugged pinball machine.  Then I spotted the scene below.  Front row at an indie-row concert: this poor dog had ‘teh fear’ in his eyes.  The owner even attempted to cover the dog’s ears when their fashion-accessory became visibly unsettled.  It didn’t work but the. show. must. go. on.

I guess this is what it takes to be cool in the authenticity arms race?

Capp Cooper's Hawk

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Yesterday at 4pm, I was amusing myself with the idea of finally taking a shower when I spotted my neighbor holding a rocket launcher attached to a camera.  Turns out he was just taking shots of a Cooper's Hawk digesting a meal, not taking out Boo Radley's house once and for all.  I learned a lot of interesting things, like there is a bird called Cooper's Hawk and hawks commonly defecate 2 minutes prior to flight.  Normally I'd make some comparison to hipsters taking a crap 2 minutes before going to Kilowatt, but that just seems too obvious.

(link)

Side note: you can see badass birds on Capp St. 24/7 if you're looking to move.

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