Crime

Haus Coffee Laptop Thief Caught and Put on Display

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

UA tipster Mike was on the scene at Haus on 24th earlier today when a laptop theft victim caught the thief and reclaimed what was rightfully hers:

Check out the attached photo to see what expression a low level Mission thug makes while he's being held down by regular neighborhood folks on the sidewalk after stealing a laptop from Haus Coffee.  This chump made it about 5 feet before being tripped by the victim then pinned up against the car in the photo while everyone else on the sidewalk called the cops.  He was arrested a few minutes later and the DA will likely be looking at charges.  This all happened about 2:10 pm today.

I saw the whole thing go down as I was sitting right next to the table the laptop was on which was right next to the door.  Absolutely zero chance this knob is not the guy who did it.

We should note that there has been an uptick in these thefts lately, with (according to the Valencia Merchant's Association) criminals looting employee's personal belongings (and cash and merch) at Harrington's, Public Bikes, the gallery at 973 Valencia, BelJar, Serendipity, and Dema over the past few weeks.  Not necessarily related, but be sure to keep your head up.

Woman Sexually Assaulted on Muni, SFPD Couldn't Give a Shit

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Our pal Brittney Gilbert was sexually assaulted on Muni the other day.  She was on her way to work and when she went to get off a bus, an extremely-drunk-but-not-homeless man grabbed her crotch.  The experience sounds horribly traumatic, so that alone makes me feel sick.  But after she got off the bus, slammed a glass of wine, had a good cry and was comforted by her friends and co-workers, she was urged to go to the police and report the crime.  As Brittney noted, “these crimes are grossly underreported and even one more record of this kind of assault might mean more police presence in the future.”

However, when she got the police station at 6th and Bryant to report the crime, the response not only unhelpful, but absolutely unfitting for someone paid to “serve and protect” the residents of our city: 

“Okay. What do you want to do? File a report?” [The officer's] tone made his words sound more like, “Are you serious? You came all the way down here for this?”

“Yes,” I told him. Yes, I wanted to file a report.

He asked for more information. I gave it to him. He told me to wait. Then he came out and spoke with me face to face.

“We have two options here. We have a Muni task force. We can give them this info and they can be on the lookout for this guy. Or you can file a full report, but it won't do anything.”

He made sure to tell me this guy wouldn't be caught even if I filed a report. For a moment I hedged. For a split second I considered not filing a report. He nearly convinced me. Then I remembered what I came there to do.

“I realize this guy probably won't be caught, but this crime is underreported and I want to do my due diligence and make sure this one is. And if it means more police presence later, then even better.” He did not agree with me; he said nothing. The amount of sympathy he managed could fit into a thimble.

I waited more. While waiting with no where to sit for many minutes I considered the infirm or pregnant or elderly women who would be very physically uncomfortable waiting to file a similar report. With nothing to be said of the emotional discomfort.

Finally I was given a slip of paper with my case number on it. I was told that usually sexual battery requires “skin on skin contact,” but that that was how my case would be labeled. He told me I could follow the case online.

I initiated a hand shake. He finally, finally mustered that he was sorry this happened. He told me to be careful. It sounded a lot like, “don't let this happen to you again.”

You can read the entire tale on Brittney's blog.

Ganja Treats Dude Busted!

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Here's what eyewitness tumblrer Just Crazy Enough to Work said about the incident:

Have no fear the real ganja man is here. But he’s being lead away by several plain clothes cops. Makes me angry.
Cop quote: “you gonna run?”
Bastards!

Looks like SFPD's pointless Dolores Park crackdown is still in full effect?

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Crazed Jaguar Driver Beats Woman with Windshield Wiper

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Around 1:50 yesterday, an aggro Jaguar driver (pictured above with his head smashed into the pavement) ran the stop sign at 17th and Harrison, cutting off a woman in a Honda CRV.  She slammed on her brakes before smashing his mid-life crisis and honked her horn, provoking a First In Class response, Mission Local reports:

The man then got out of his car and ran to open the woman’s driver-side door, said [witness Linda Leery]. After failing to open the victim’s door, the man tore off one of the Honda CRV’s windshield wipers and was able to open her door. He then beat her between five and 10 times with the wiper, said Leery.

“She was screaming and bleeding, and plastic from the windshield wiper was flying everywhere,” said Leery, who then drove in front of the man’s parked Jaguar in case he tried to flee. 

The attacker tried to flee multiple times, so witnesses grabbed his keys and held him down until the police could arrive.  The victim was “bleeding heavily,” but conscious.

No word if the responding officers issued the victim a fix-it ticket for the broken wiper.

[Mission Local]

Anarchists Take Credit For 'Joyful Attacks' on Mission Gentrification

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Apparently there was another spree of anti-gentrification vandalism along Valencia Wednesday morning (which, apparently, was completely cleaned up by lunch and obviously Not A Problem).  This time, the attackers posted their manifesto of sorts on IndyBay, claiming solidarity with some people up north:

San Francisco Yuppies Attacked In Solidarity With Pacific Northwest Grand Jury Resisters

In the early morning of August 22 in San Francisco's Mission District, we joyfully attacked all presence of gentrification and yuppie windows we could find. These malicious acts were done in solidarity with those in the Pacific Northwest resiting Grand Jury's. New and old condos, cafes, BMW's, Porsches, Mercedes, antique stores, fine restaurants, modern furniture stores, among many others, had their windows permanently etched with (A), DIE, Die Yuppie Scum, Fuck Off Yuppies, Yuppies Out!, and a variety of other obscenities.

To our companions currently facing or who do face Grand Jury's in the future: SAY NOTHING! You have waves of invisibles behind you ready to coalesce from the woodwork and attack at the ready.

The people and businesses we attacked, with smiles and laughs, have for decades and still continue to actively displace and destroy the generations of families in The Mission while continuing the project of capital by commodifying and compartmentalizing all modes of existence and ways of being. This project of capital is enforced and backed-up in every regard with the constant harassment, beatings and murders of the San Francisco Police Department. In this regard we send our warmest regards to those who recently rendered unusable SFPD and OPD vehicles - We see your actions, are inspired and continue the attack. It's so easy!

It's curious that these attacks continue happening along Valencia, probably by folks in Oakland (or LA).  After the May Day Riots, in which the police were able to do nothing to stop/arrest them either during or after the attacks, you have to wonder if these black bloc protesters see Valencia Street as an “easy” place to make a message, without any threat of consequence.

(Also, not completely sure what Mission gentrification has to do with some dissenters in Portland but heyyyy good for you.)

[Photo via the Examiner]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Underwhelming Police Response After Alleged Carjacking and Abduction on 20th and San Carlos

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Gina writes:

At 4:30 a.m. I was awoken to the sound of a woman screaming bloody murder. I looked out the window of my San Carlos Street apartment and saw tail lights outside of Hog & Rocks. She was screaming for help and demanding that the attacker get out of her car. Within seconds neighbors began running outside, as did I. In under a minute this woman and her car were gone. All we could do was call for the cops and try to piece together what had happened.

This is only guessing- but the half dozen of us that heard and saw small bits from our windows think she was car jacked on 20th and San Carlos, and tried to fight the attacker off. He won after one block.

None of us could identify the car, only that it was a car not a truck or SUV. We couldn't help the police much and they didn't have the best representation with only one officer showing up. We tried to tell him as quickly and clearly as we could what we saw. The officer drove off looking for a car that he couldn't identify that had any sign of trouble. No officers came to follow-up with us after that. We're left to hope that woman is okay.

If anyone has any additional information, you can contact the SFPD Anonymous Tip Line at (415) 575-4444 or the text tip line, TIP411, referencing SFPD in the message.

Update: Gina's initial email was from 5:30 this morning.  Here's her update from 9:30.

I just spoke with the Mission Police and can update you with this: They had a partial description on the car, and partial license plate given by my neighbor. They sent all units looking for the car and turned up nothing. I asked if they'd had any women come forward on being attacked last night that would fit with the San Carlos Street event- they had not. You see, I was hoping the woman got free and contacted the police- but no luck on that yet.

The officer did not take any of our names before rushing off looking for the woman. Nor did the return in the 20 minutes after that we all stood outside theorizing and talking. I think it was the right thing to do in the moment to speed off looking for her once he got the little info we had.

The officer with whom I spoke on the phone just now was helpful and understanding- it did feel like they'd done the best they could. She questioned if I thought perhaps it could have been a domestic dispute, which would explain why no one ever heard anything again. I absolutely - in my bones- know this was not a woman screaming at an attacker she knew. My four house mates and I thought that it was blood curdling. Also, we heard a very loud pop much like a fender bender when it all began- another strange detail.

Lurky Guy On Valencia Stealing Bike Lights, Creeping Folks Out

— By Erika Kali |

According to the Facebook of Nooworks shopgirl/designer Gwen, there is a man on the prowl along Valencia St. for some new bikes and/or accessories to add to his collection:

LOOK OUT: so this morning when I arrived at the shop there was a weird dude is a baseball cap that appeared to be sizing up an adult and 2 kids bikes locked up to the rack. I stopped and stared at him for a while. Then he asked me what I was looking at and told me he wasn't going to rob me. I said I was wondering what it was he was up to. I stood and watched him as he continued to ding the bell on one of the bikes. Finally he got spooked by me mad dogging him and he walked away. He then tried to come back 15 minutes later but I scared him off again. When the owner of the bikes returned I talked to her and sure enough he had gotten her lights, but that was all. Anyway he is around the mission with a black baseball cap black gloves and a black cane but he is probably only 40 years old or so. He is wearing a yellow shirt. I am just mad I didn't call the cops immediately.

Be on the lookout for this sketchtoid, and remember to take your lights with you and lock up your shit real tight!

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