Whimsical Bullshit

The Sunset From the Academy of Sciences Roof is Pretttty Nice

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I've gone to a few NightLife events over the years, but never thought about going up on the roof at sunset.  Mistake!  You've got a perfect view of the de Young, Golden Gate Park's famed flora, and the last throes of sunlight battling the fog.  And after enjoying the show for a few minutes, you realize it's kinda cold up there and go back inside and watch baby ostriches be baby ostriches while Dan the Automator plays Dan the Automator.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

'San Francisco's Greatest Anthem'

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Above is the queer electro-hop kids of Double Duchess marching down Mission Street in what SFist thinks could be our city's greatest anthem yet:

The song is beyond infection and the accompanying video (joyously directed by Epli Made) injected with everything you should hold near and dear to your heart — e.g., ice cream carts, drag, standing in traffic on Market with a bullhorn, and impossibly long legs.

And they got fireworks and bikes and that guy in the sandals too, so you know it's a goodie. Check it:

San Francisco Cryptozoology 101: The Bernal Hill Bigfoot

— By Zach Perkins |

Bernalwood just broke a story that's sure to be 'big news' for Bay Area crazies. 

But, really, it’s true! Bigfoot WAS spotted today on Bernal Hill, and Neighbor Frank was there with a camera to capture the wild beast on camera.

…Neighbor Frank writes:

My wife and I were walking around the top of the hill just before noon today and spotted Bigfoot, or something like that, running up the hill near the top of Rosenkranz Street.

We thought that maybe Bernalwood was Bigfoot’s new habitat, but in the heat, Bigfoot removed his head and looked more like a person in a costume, surrounded by two photographers.

This is either an awesome prank with a homemade ghillie suit, or 'Neighbor Frank' stumbled upon the principle photography for a Zodiac re-boot about a disgruntled Marine Corps sniper who finds out the prolific serial killer was his biological father.

Bernalwood post: “BIGFOOT SIGHTING ON BERNAL HILL!! (FINALLY!!)”

Shoe Company Pays Madman to Drive Around San Francisco

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

In case you have been wondering about the reason for the new tire tracks all over San Francisco we've been seeing recently, it turns out that DC shoes (which I think is an American Eagle for skateboarders or whatever) filmed some sort of a drifting reinterpretation of Bullit.  And if you can get past the fact this is a giant commercial, it's not a bad watch.

(And should you be interested, JJ San has a bunch of shots from the video's filming in Potrero Hill, including the crazy helicopter-camera-thingy they used to get the aerial shots.)

(Thanks for the tip, Jeff!)

Good Dog of The Week: Fletcher the Shep

— By @BuffBro |

People seem to shy away from big dogs but you know what?  These people are assholes.  Big dogs can be great when they have a good disposition. Take Fletcher here - a German Shep, big dog to be sure, but do you see a kinder more well behaved dog on the Panhandle? 

Nope, sorry - your Bichon is a total piece of shit and your Australian Shepherd is nice but a total spaz (let's be honest).

In other news, there was a lot of fireworks up on the Panhandle, which was pretty awesome to see, but why the hell can't we buy any real goddamn fireworks up here?  We have to have a connection in Chinatown to get any bottle rockets, or make the trip to Nevada to get anything more powerful than oversized sparklers. Maybe banning cool fireworks and delicious goose livers is all part of the plan for Nevada's tourism lobby? Either way, if you want to buy some good foie gras I know a guy in Chinatown with the good stuff.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

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