Sports

Snowboard Year-Round on the Streets of San Francisco

I know you're bummed because it's summer now and there's not much snow left in the Sierra to crush, but there's a (somewhat, relatively) new sport in town: Freebording.  You can carve and slice and fall on your ass just like you're snowboarding, but do it while bombing down Dolores on your way to beers and hot cocoa in the park.  It's like snowboarding, but in traffic.  They've even got one helluva video showing how it's done (and the legal implications of doing it):

I suppose you should go out and buy one, as I guess this makes bicyclists the two plankers of the streets. Plus, they're made right here in San Francisco.

San Francisco Streets Surprisingly Clean After Bay to Breakers

Bay to Breakers was yesterday. People attended. Here are some pictures of what went down.

An unfortunate outfit choice

Here is a man defiling Fell st with stomach bile.

If you go to Bay to Breakers for the costumes, you will not be disappointed!

Jk! There were some pretty cool costumes, like these Tetris pieces

and the Golden Gate Bridge

Man in tiger pants enjoys a mid-afternoon nap on the urine-drenched grass of the Panhandle

No bro left behind! Bay to Breakers inspires a strong sense of loyalty among participants

Running: it's really more of a spectator sport!

I live on Fell street and after seeing all this shit go down, I figured that my neighborhood would be a total disaster this morning. Much to my surprise, when I left the house at 7 am, there was just about no trash in the streets or in the Panhandle, no weird lingering scent of urine, and no errant costume remnants. Everything seemed to be business as usual. Some people may take the angle that this event needs to “cleaned up,” but Public Works and the race promoters seemed to be doing an excellent job of that already. For an event where participants seem to have trouble keeping themselves under control, it's nice to see that the city can handle the clean-up like professionals.

Celebrate Skeeball's Arrival with a Charity Skeeball Tourney at Dr. Teeth

As we mentioned last week, a skeeball machine was spotted hanging out outside of Rhea's during Sunday Streets.  And this made us freak out.  Why?  Because we love skeeball, damnit, and we aren't particularly down with biking out to the Richmond to play.

Well, the machine's owner, noted skeeball champ Joey the Cat, has found a permanent home for it right in Dr. Teeth's backyard and they're celebrating its arrival with a cancer research fundraiser TONIGHT before Broke-Ass Stuart's party.  Joey fills us in:

Our dreams have come true and I found a home for the skeeball machine: Dr. Teeth. To kick off the machine being placed in the newly renovated backyard AND raise money for blood cancer research (who's not doing that right now?!), I'm hosting a Charity Skeeball Tournament with a bunch of prizes and fun.

Here are the details:
6PM registration / 7PM Tourney Starts / 9PM Trophy Ceremony
Prizes: Sol Republic Headphones (value: $99) - $25 Gift Card to Mission Bicycle - 3 Sony Dashes - One Free Skeeson of Brewskee-ball -  Other Goodies

The tourney is free to enter, but they'll be charging $1 per game (all of which is donated to blood cancer research, of course).  Also, THERE'S SKEEBALL IN THE MISSION NOW.

[Thanks, Joey!]

Mission Cliffs Opening New Bouldering Outpost in the Dogpatch

They've been dropping hints on Facebook all day, following a “big news” teaser on Monday:

As you can see, they're not exactly being subtle about it.  Tweezer Trippel is a brew from Magnolia, which is opening a new brew pub on 3rd and 22nd.  And obviously you don't need a belay card if you're bouldering.

So while there hasn't been an “official” announcement yet, it seems as though there'll be a new bouldering gym on 3rd Street sometime soon.

[Facebook]

Skee-Ball Comes to the Mission!

Or at least it did, at Sunday Streets outside of Rhea's.  But, clearly, this thing was dragged out to the street from somewhere.  So where is this thing holed up?  And can the public (read: me) play it?

(Also, what would it take to get a bar/venue/dollar store to keep one of these things running?  I know Mission bars don't really need to do anything besides put in a pool table, pinball machine, and maybe a shuffleboard table to pack the place, but there are plenty of spots with ample space that could maybe mix things up and allow us to play skee-ball without schlepping our asses out to Buckshot.)

[Photo by Mission Bicycle]

El Rio's Go Deep! Lube Wrestling is the Next Twisted Event You Must Absolutely Attend

Dearest nerds and pervs, did you know that El Rio has a monthly all-girl lube wrestling competition? No? Okay, well now you do and you should probably put the next one on your calendar.

See, I'm not going to lie guys.  I'd like to offer you a subjective, puritanical review of the evening that's free of sexual charge, but I just cannot do it.  This event ruled for so many reasons: the rockin' DJ, the jokes from the MC, the lubricated thumb-wrestling contest, wrestlers with names like “Hella Kitty”… even the costumes were off the charts.  But, at the end of the day, this lube wrestling match is a must-attend for a reason I'm sure we're all familiar with: titties.  I mean, who doesn't like titties?  Seriously people.  Girls love titties.  Guys definitely love titties.  The internet loves titties.  Titties titties titties.

That's not to say the party was all lube and boobs—quite the contrary.  There were venerable athletes getting into the mix, some of which looked like they could bench press a bus with one arm.  And the looks of horror from the front row as they got whipped in the face with a lube-drenched ponytails was simply priceless.

However, the event was not without its drawbacks; namely, the rows of creepy lurkers in the back (of which I was a part of, naturally).  Sadly, I was not allowed to take a photo to show you what the crowd looked like, and the idea of getting thrown out of a lube wrestling competition in a lesbian bar was a certifiable pervy rock bottom from which my pride and dignity would never recover.  But the back four or five rows were packed with whack dudes in backwards baseball caps grinning like virgins.  And then there was that 40-year-old couple making out a little too hard, which grossed me the fuck out but, from the looks of it, almost caused the guy to my right to pull out his dick right there and give himself a fistful of blisters.

Did I mention titties?

Anyway, if you RSVP with Red Hots Burlesque (who aids in putting on the show) ahead of time, you can reserve yourself a seat in the front, lube-soaked, pervert-free rows.  So do that.

Go Deep! goes down on the first Thursday of every month at 9pm.  $15 cover, but all the money goes to the performers.

[Photo by Red Hot Dottie]

A Very NSFW Pinball Machine

I know we tend to use the NSFW label somewhat liberally, but this video is most definitely NSFW, so if you work at Focus on the Family or whatever, you probably shouldn't press play:

My inner 12-year-old boy (who am I kidding? my outer 27-year-old boy) is crying from laughter right now.  I really feel like the manufacturer understands how nice it is to cool down after you get all heated up playing a game.

Anyway, is Kink.com ever going to reopen that bar they bought?  Because, well… yeah.

[via Bay Area Pinball]

Blantant Theft of Four Barrel's Boar Head Confirms Coffee Drinkers "Just Don't Give a Fuck"

The laughing at the end of the video suggests this was some sort of April Fools' prank, although the video was uploaded to the You Tubes on March 31st.  No matter; the fact that a bunch of fancy coffee drinkers will literally just stand around as a bunch of dapper white dudes sporting ski masks climb a ladder and lift a dead beast of the wall, waiting for a barista to get involved, pretty much screams “open season on coffee shop artwork” amirite?

[h/t Mission Local]

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