Sports

SF Giants Film Disappointing Commercial in the Mission

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Not going to lie, I'm wicked disappointed in this ad.  Back in February, I was promised the Giants were filming their 2012 season commercial in the neighborhood, but it looks like much of it wound up on the cutting room floor:

Sure, Willy’s Barbershop, Nice & Clean Laundromat, Mission Ink, and Clarion Alley all make appearances.  But where's the promised shots of Giants fans scarffing down burrito in Taqueria Cancun?  Or perhaps Tim Lincecum chowing down with Ganja Treats? And isn't that Russian Hill in one of the shots? Gross.

At least they're incorporating the old Sparks branding into their 2012 artwork:

Mission Bowling Club is on its Way!

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Mission Local brings us the good news:

There’s no opening date just yet, but strikes are in the Mission Bowling Club’s [17th and South Van Ness] near future.

Apart from some finishing touches, the staff of 50 has been hired and trained.

Everyone is now just waiting to hear that the venue has passed the last inspections before they open the doors to the neighborhood’s first bowling alley.

Hurrah!

And what is the operation going to look like?

[Anthony Myint, whose operating the kitchen] sees this area of the Mission as a new micro-hood, and thinks someone should come up with a name for it. A few blocks away, new businesses have recently opened, including Southern Pacific Brewery, and Flour + Water’s market is scheduled to open soon.

The bowling alley’s menu will include the popular Mission Burger, as well as bar snacks such as homemade beef jerky and food on sticks.

Happy hour will be from 3 to 6 p.m., and dinner service from 6 to 11 p.m. on weekdays. On Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, the alley will close at midnight. Prices will range from $35 to $55 per lane per hour.

Don't worry, Anthony, I'm sure the Bold Italic is already on the case.

(Also, !!!!!)

[Mission Local]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Mid-Market's Answer to the Bernal Heights Bikini Jogger

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Our friends up in Bernal Heights have been enthralled (turned on?) for the last few months by a local resident jogging around the neighborhood in nothing but a bikini, letting her lady parts bounce around in the most photogenic of ways.

Naturally, the absurdity of such a thing generated all sorts of press and spawned a speedo jogger intimidator (which my heterosexuality/concern for human welfare requires me to classify as “ewwwww grossssss”).  However, other neighborhoods never really upped the ante with their own athletic fashion weirdos, much to the disappointment of the internet.

But now it seems there's another fleshy jogger to be reckon with—this time, gracing our city's crackhead corridor with full, unadultrated nudity, as captured by Josh J a few months back in video form:

While this blogger hasn't seen this neatly trimmed Yeti with his own eyes, I suggest listening for the catcalls “heyyyyyyyy lady” and “where you going so fast?” and “hey mommy, why don't you run over this way?” to find her yourself.

[Video by Josh J]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

It's Almost Baseball Season in San Francisco...

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

With just 40 days left until opening day at AT&T Park*, eager fans are getting a jump on things and lining up outside the stadium for tickets.  Someone's even gone and painted orange highlights on the Lefty O'Doul Bridge.

Oh yes, it's almost baseball season in San Francisco.

*I totally didn't have to Google that. Trust.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Tim Lincecum Rocks Sweet Tacolicious Hat

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Now that San Francisco has gone from pretending to care about football to tweeting obsessively about the impending baseball season, noted pothead and Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum greeted fans at this past weekend's FanFest with a Tacolicious cap on his head.  Does this mean the Marina/Valencia restaurant has finally 'made it'? And has Tim ever drank a Tecate there?

[Inside Scoop]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

The Mission Holds it Down for the Niners

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

In case you slept through yesterday, the Niners beat the Saints in a 'nail biter' to squeak out their first playoff win in practically forever.  And, of course, the Mission lost its collective shit and it ruled:

This was the scene at Clooney's as soon as the Niner's scored their game winning touchdown. As you can see, the barflies (many of whom were kicked out for being too wasted/too awesome by this point) were more relieved than anything else.

Drumming on giant Tecate cans proved to be quite the crowd-pleaser.

While Mission Street descended into a car-honking, flag-flying, holding-babies-out-of-car-windows parade, some people took advantage of the empty stores and extended their T-Mobile contract.

And finally, before the game kicked off, this Niners fan (sporting a Love Shack cannabis club t-shirt, might I add) fed a dog in a duffle bag some McDonalds.

Party Like It's 2010

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I understand that football is for brutes and savages and beneath San Francisco's sensibilities, but now that the 49ers are going to see the play-offs for the first time since 2002 and actually beating formidable opponents in late-season showdowns, can we storm the streets and burn mattresses and dance on buses and light fireworks and scream until we go hoarse like it's November 1st, 2010 all over again if they win even ONE game? Yes, that would be nice.

[Photo by Travis Britton]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

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